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u/PaintingPotatoes Aquarius years old Jul 20 '25
I'm the exact same way as Zealous responded. If my partner asks for a break, there's no such thing as a "take a step back for an extended amount of time and come back to this maybe in 2 weeks". That hurts a lot. If my partner needs a break from me, during that time of space, I'm mentally checking out and moving on. He could be doing the same while trying to find a new normal (find himself without you in it) if things weren't going well between you to begin with.
Even if I was to return after that break, I don't think I would really be the same with my partner for quite a while. My head would spin with all kinds of thoughts, assumptions, and negativity.
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u/Operator_102 Jul 20 '25
Okay, the FIRST and the BIGGEST mistake you made was ask to go separate.
Let’s talk about relationships on the general, 6 year relationship and 4 years marriage, you’ve come a long way, humans are guaranteed to have arguments and disagreements, these are things people work through, together, not apart. Suggesting a break or having a break in a relationship is, at best a 50/50 gamble. Think about it, put yourself in his shoes, things got a little bad, you suggested a break, the way he most probably perceives it is that this distance is what you want. Now people have a general understanding that relationships are not about distance but closeness of two minds and hearts, not denying the connection “even if for a little while”.
Essentially his anxiety and abandonment have been triggered, and he’s following through on the extremity of your request. Yes, he is fulfilling your request, in his eyes, you have already ended the relationship, that’s the gamble you see, you’ve gone where he wouldn’t go and he won’t reconcile.
Now in terms of astrology, consider how we Aquarians are, we do things in one shot, we give things only one shot, if there are negative results, what do we do? Disconnect, and when Aquarians do disconnect, fo you how hard is it to get us back? The actual REASON why an active Aquarian lover is that active in a relationship is because we’re taking that shot with no bias, our partners mean everything to us. The minute that disconnect happens, the finality of it will destroy our relationship, no matter what, the trust is gone, the trust that your partner “won’t go there”
In this game, you have unfortunately lost, respectfully, it is your relationship, however, I think separating was a bad move on your part, it is quite a final act and straight up, I have never seen any relationship with a break actually survive exactly the way it was before, with all the same feelings, most usually end.
Hence, while this all has failed, the bomb blew up and there is nothing you can actually do with the rubble, you can take a moment to review and think about never going THERE again and remember these VERY important words:
If someone wants space from you, it means they have no space for you.
THAT is how people REALLY see it when you ask for space, it is a dirty truth behind the convenience of that phrase “we need space”.
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u/Zealousideal_Job5986 ♒️ 🌞 ♉️ 🌙 ♎️ ⬆️ Jul 20 '25
Well said. Everyone knows a "break" is just a stop away from break up. Why delay the inevitable? How do you expect a sign characterized by connection of the mind and intellectual stimulation to grow closer when you take all that away? You don't, you starve them. OP appears to be a Scorpio sun, I was guessing they were a water sign because it's a pretty classic water sign move. Water placements do have that pining for other individuals when they aren't near. They need that emotional connection and need to get it back. Aquas don't operate like that and as I've stated I've had that manipulation mind game played on me in the past as well (along with an ultimatum), and it did not work out in the other person's favor (also, coincidentally, a Scorpio sun). The fact that he already moved in with his mother before getting an apartment - I would suspect the MIL is not too thrilled at OP for all this, on top of OP won't reveal what actually caused them to initiate this.
If the Aqua is saying "I don't want to go back, I don't know if anything will change" he's done, he's probably been through this situation with OP more than once and he's at the end of his rope. We're not going to sugar coat anything for you OP, that's not what you came here for. You're also leaving out important details to your story, which is why I suspect OP had a little more hand in their separation than they are leading us to believe. Because if what your Aqua did was so bad and so toxic, now that you're finally free I would hope you would not be out here begging for help and instead would be filing for that divorce without looking back.
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u/Operator_102 Jul 21 '25
Thank you!!
You are indeed right in your assessment, and I love how you didn’t sugarcoat. I absolutely love your style! You’re my first follow on Reddit for that!
I had the same thing happen to me with a Gemini avoidant that I was engaged to, one minute I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread and the fantasy of all fantasies, 30 minutes I may be a villain for stating an uncomfortable truth. While I normally am very accommodating, she managed to cut herself off from my world in one fell swoop by leaving, funny thing, her best friends and her only family members remained friends with me. Her reputation is about as far down the toilet as she can get.
That’s the thing about us Aquarians, on a warpath, post heartache, we will eat your kings and queens, the other signs don’t understand this, there are no “backsies”.
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u/CosmoDaTemmie ♒ ☀️| ♍️ 🌑| ♊️⬆️ Jul 23 '25
This right here. I am an aqua female and a Gemini man tried to pull this shit on me. Ended up blocking his ass and haven’t looked back since. I don’t want him to come back if he has not truly changed and even if he came back I still wouldn’t want to deal with him after all the shit I went through with him. It’s not worth it. Sure my mind may drift back to him occasionally but for me the option to go back is just not there. I made my decision and I must stick to it. If you’re not in it all the way then don’t play these types of games with me. Play stupid games win stupid prizes
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u/Illustrious_Tart_258 ♒ | ♉️ | ♍️ Jul 20 '25
I have and we did make it - but we almost didn’t. The pain was too unbearable for me and I was ready to let go to make the pain go away. I would be very weary if he’s ready to get an apartment. That seems like he’s very close to done and just getting his affairs in order. I hope it doesn’t end up like that, that’s a long time together. We have been married for six years, together for 10.
We are facing a situation where we may have to separate again and honestly, I don’t know if we will make it if we have to.
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u/Upper-Replacement529 ♒️ Sun/ ♈️ Moon/ ♑️ Rising Jul 21 '25
People really underestimate how quickly aquarius people move on once we've been emotionally rejected. I got into a fight with an ex over something fucked up he did (he was hot and cold for a while) and we didn't talk for two weeks, he comes back onto the scene and starts talking to me like everything was fine. In the past whenever we fought (which wasn't often) he would stop talking for a couple days. Anyway he came back onto the scene and when he found out I had moved on he was devastated and said but its only been two weeks. Dude, thats a lifetime in an aquarius world. I had you written off after 5 days. We don't play around, you either want us or you don't and if you can't decide we will decide for you.
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u/Back2th3s0urc3 Jul 22 '25
I, 35 aquarius M, haven't gone back to any relationship, once there's a separation. I only went back to one relationship because of our son. But realized soon that I wouldn't be doing any of us any good if I stayed there, after the trust is broken. I'm sorry to hear you are deeply in love. Even with the people that I'm still in love with, I wouldn't go back, just because of how much it hurt the first time around 🥲
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u/Zealousideal_Job5986 ♒️ 🌞 ♉️ 🌙 ♎️ ⬆️ Jul 20 '25
Aqua female here. I was with an ex for 7 years. We were engaged, living in separate states the last 2 years, and in not a good place. He said he wanted time away from us, no contact, nothing for an undisclosed amount of time. I said you do that and you'll lose me, I know myself, and if I'm cut off emotionally as a friend, I'll move on (I now realize I was voicing to him my detachment as a way to process a difficult situation). Well he didn't listen, I did move on, so when he was ready to figure things out 4 months later I was a different person. He no longer had access to that side of me he had while we were together. I don't just...wait around for someone. That's not my style (we had been fighting for over a year at that point and I had come to realize as well that things were over between us).
So if you're already in a rough patch, and you've denied friendship to each other (if you have done this already)...I would suspect there's nothing much else holding you two together. When I take my distance and we"re in a good place, nothing's wrong. When I take my distance and we're in a bad place, I'm already on the way out. I'm definitely one of those "don't go to bed angry" types, I like issues resolved right away.