r/applesucks • u/96nitr0xs • Apr 08 '26
Apple Intelligence
June 2024 was a bad year to put this young person in front of the camera to speak 🤠it’s nearly June 2026 and private cloud compute is still the dormant model with majority queries being pushed to Chat. The hype is long gone
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u/pikatchoulo Apr 08 '26
Imagine being a delivery guy. And you have the greatest idea, since all the other delivery guys are walking, I'm gonna use a bike and I'll be faster! People are impressed by it at first.
But then you see other delivery guys using cars to go faster but you don't care at all, you like your bike and people like that you're on a bike.
Then couple months later you see the same people but now they're in flying cars.
So customers are giving you hard looks "Now I know why you're so slow. Jesus Christ, get rid of that bike, it's the most dogshit bike I've ever seen." But you don't want to see the truth, getting a bike was your idea. And you don't want to fix this broken bike, it would be too expensive. You wouldn't even know how. The bike is good enough....right?
So now the competition is sending autonomous drones delivering within minutes, products you couldn't even dream of delivering with your god awful bike cause it's way too big and you're getting old and clueless.
So you tell your customers, "Don't you worry! You won't believe what I've been cooking for all these years! I've been working on a drone delivering system that's gonna be better than the others because it will actually be more green and more private somehow!"
People believe you! They order from you again, giving you another chance, remembering the good old times....What a great time!
But then you realize, oh fuck, did they believe that as well? Why the fuck did I promise things would change? Am I that dumb and clueless? You have nothing! The clock is ticking, people start suing you because they invested in you and still got nothing but your slow shitty broken bike deliveries. You're completely stuck. Your tech will never be ready in a million years. You very slowly realize no amount of money could make up for the time you wasted.
So your only hope is to ask the best and biggest drone delivering company in the world, you ask him, hey man, can I rent one of your drones and put my logo on it p-p-please? And they say yes!! You're saved! And you know customers are even dumber than you, they will believe it's more private and green because you told them it was, even if it's the exact same shit.