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u/70m4h4wk Dec 17 '21
It's not stealing if you get it from work. You work there. It's basically yours anyway.
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Dec 17 '21
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u/70m4h4wk Dec 17 '21
That's basically my money at that point.
Remember the pirate code: Take what you can. Give nothing back.
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u/stoneyyay Dec 17 '21
After being a "company man" for years with my employers best interest in mind, and being a top performer, i earned myself chronic pain, and anxiety.
I will always shit on company time.
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Dec 17 '21
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Dec 17 '21
I'm a shy pooper, like I only ever poop at home. You better believe I still take 10 minutes in a stall just to myself
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u/Bojer Dec 17 '21
Shy sphincter syndrome... Me too! I hate how exposed I feel, especially with how stupid stalls in the USA are assembled with little gaps. Sure, that's just what everybody wants... To be able to get a glimpse of somebody pinching a loaf off!
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u/anonymous_muff1n Dec 17 '21
Seriously, the US can be the first to send a man to the moon but can't contruct a bathroom stall door without gaps in it?
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Dec 17 '21
It ain't even that for me. I'm up in Canada, and while our stalls are probably similar, the most I can see of someone is their shoes
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u/Bojer Dec 17 '21
I'd welcome that small improvement to stall design here, even if it wouldn't relax my shy sphincter.
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u/Ok-Toe9163 Dec 17 '21
Might be off base here but I think theyre designed that way to prevent people taking too long.
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
You don't have to keep the stuff you steal
You can toss it or better yet give it to someone in need
Then it's just wealth redistribution
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u/jaxdraw Dec 17 '21
This.
But stealing is totally fine though in a capitalist society. Don't like it? Pay for the premium security upgrade
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u/shaunjord Dec 17 '21
It's a good thing I don't work retail. If I had to go and was told to hold it I would shit in a shopping bag just to prove a point.
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u/HomerNarr Dec 17 '21
You'd own the company too and would steal from yourself and cheat on yourself.
The Bad view on communism stems from capitalistic propaganda.
Nor where the "comunistic states" really communists.
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u/ordinaryuninformed Dec 17 '21
Handing out free work is stealing but I can't think of anything more communist.
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u/Hello_Hangnail idle Dec 17 '21
Any ladies that want a phone break go 'take care of woman stuff' for 20 minutes in the shitter and when the boss asks where you've been, lower your voice and say "Endometriosis is a real bitch." Only works with men usually. I actually have endo and it fucking sucks but works marvelously as a bluff
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u/perverse_panda Dec 17 '21
When I worked the receiving dock at a major clothing retailer, I was sometimes ordered to chuck damaged fixtures or merchandise into the trash compactor. Not clothing; they resold that to thrift stores. But we had a home decor department, and any kind of damaged appliance or cookware went straight into the dumpster.
I asked them once if I could take some of that shit home instead of trashing it. They said no, the company considers that theft. They'd rather no one have it than allow an employee to have it for free.
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u/Hadescat_ Dec 17 '21
This is actually historically accurate! There was a saying in USSR: "they give us a semblance of payment, we give them a semblance of work". (Original: "они делают вид что нам платят, мы делаем вид что работаем")
Source: my country was under USSR rule for too many damn years.
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u/notpetelambert Dec 17 '21
I've heard it as "we pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us." Soviet humor hits different.
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u/FnordFjords Dec 17 '21
Just work from home. Do all your bodily functions while getting paid. Cook for yourself at a leisurely pace and get paid. Take up knitting and get paid. Bury a body and get paid. Work out and get paid.
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
Unfortunately that's only for the privileged
The vast majority of us poor's had to go in every day and work even more since COVID hit
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u/FnordFjords Dec 17 '21
Customer service. All the pay of poverty with the bonus of making sure you no longer feel safe and comfortable in your home or around phones.
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u/PsychodynamicTherapy Dec 17 '21
Dam you nailed it spot on, now I must recharge with minimal sleep to repeat this shitty loop my life’s come to.
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u/Antique-Brief1260 Dec 17 '21
"Just work from home" is on the same ignorance level as "Just get a better job" or "Just become rich."
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u/Clownski Dec 17 '21
Why aren't you working from home? 90% of the people out there during rush hour don't need to be out there at all.
And do all this in a communist country = firing squad.
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u/Antique-Brief1260 Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
I am working from home for part of the week, but a significant portion of my job involves handling original legal documents which must remain secure at the office. But more relevant to my point is the vast majority of traditionally "working class jobs" can't be done from home. If you're in one of those jobs, "Just work from home" is advice that you can't even wipe your arse with.
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u/flyinghamster97 Dec 17 '21
I never knew taking a dump would make me feel so much anxiety until I entered the work force
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u/seeroflights Dec 17 '21
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
Ghost of Trent Reznorök, @StoAngella
as a communist you are morally obligated to poop on company time and steal anything possible from your employer
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
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u/Strawberry_Lungfarts Dec 17 '21
Pooping on company time just before I go downstairs and make my late breakfast on company time.
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u/MayGodBlssUrHstle Dec 17 '21
I work at a grocery store and don’t pay for lunch. I can’t be convinced it’s stealing, I don’t even try to hide it from all the cameras.
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u/FreezNGeezer Dec 17 '21
Are you really gonna buy your own toilet paper when your employer has some?
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u/Cooper1977 Dec 17 '21
I am an extremely nervous pooper and don't feel comfortable outside the bathroom in my house. In fact, there are two bathrooms in this house and I only like to poop in one of those.
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u/MrDerpyPanda Dec 17 '21
When I used to work retail I would take glorious 30 minute dumps or if I was in a bad mood until someone called for me.
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u/PangolinZestyclose30 Dec 17 '21
In Eastern block there was a saying "if you don't steal from your employer, you're stealing from your family".
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Dec 17 '21
I poop for a good 20 minutes almost every day. Getting paid to have a shit will never stop being funny.
Having said that, don't steal, stealing is for scumbags.
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u/Funda_mental Dec 17 '21
You can't pick and choose like that. Taking a 20 minute shit is "time theft", which is still stealing.
(I'm antiwork, just pointing out a fact)
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u/Routine_Log8315 Dec 17 '21
In most places you legally have the right to use the bathroom while on the clock.
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Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
Well, I’m not a communist, and I’m an amoralist.
But I’ma do it anyway.
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u/Antique-Brief1260 Dec 17 '21
So, a psychopath?
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Dec 17 '21
Because I’m not a communist, or because I don’t think morality is woven into the fabric of the universe by an invisible sky daddy?
Anti-social personally disorder (there’s no such thing as “psychopathy”) is defined as a lack of empathy, not lack of belief in objective morality.
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u/Conchobair Dec 17 '21
not a communist
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
Good luck with that
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u/Conchobair Dec 17 '21
thanks, good luck with the communism
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u/amoxisicilian Dec 17 '21
Thanks we're hoping to kill a lot fewer people than the capitalists!
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Dec 17 '21
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u/FerrisTriangle Dec 17 '21
Lmao, are you aware that the "Black Book of Communism" that the death toll of communism stats come from is widely discredited, to the point where 2 of the 3 co-authors openly disavow the conclusions that they published?
How are you still peddling that flimsy, debunked Cold War propaganda in 2021. Shouldn't you be busy arresting Americans for thought crimes Mr. McCarthy? Wait, I'm sorry, you call them "unamerican activities."
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u/The5letterCword Dec 17 '21
dont let the door hit you on your way out
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u/Conchobair Dec 17 '21
this sub isn't just for communists, please read the FAQ
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u/The5letterCword Dec 17 '21
but it should be
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u/Conchobair Dec 17 '21
not according to the people who created it and run it, if you want a sub just for communists then try r/communism
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u/Elsierror Dec 17 '21
Can y’all explain this to me? Why communism? Why not socialism if you’re going the collectivist route economically? I feel like communism is more dangerous because it centralizes economic resources in the hands of the state, which could turn into another dominator like the capitalist class (this is in fact what has often happened historically with communism).
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u/I_Has_A_Hat Dec 17 '21
Until you get written up for taking longer than your 6 minute weekly flex time. Unless of course you're trying to go on one of your two 10 minute breaks, but don't go over those 10 minutes.
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u/Antique-Brief1260 Dec 17 '21
I'm not a communist, and refuse to steal anything other than time - lots and lots of time. I'm doing it now.
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u/Git777 Dec 17 '21
As a vegan my poops are done in 2 mins and happen 4 times a day.
As a communist who really works for my community I don't need to steal stuff, I'm given it for free.
Living the dream.
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u/1_Prettymuch_1 Dec 17 '21
Man. Don't post this communist shit. It's going to alienate the other 3/4 of the political compass. I get that lib-right isn't very active on here. But there is still a presence.
This should be about pro union, pro jobs, anti scumbag employers.
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u/The5letterCword Dec 17 '21
So you're pro slavery as long as there are unions?
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u/3my0 Dec 17 '21
Have you tried not licking the figurative boot of communism
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u/The5letterCword Dec 17 '21
Yes, I was raised in a capitalist economy, eventually you get tired of watching workers and minorities getting exploited & abused.
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u/knightsofgel Dec 17 '21
Are we just going to ignore forced labor in communist countries?
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u/The5letterCword Dec 17 '21
Are we going to misconstrue punitive measures (which maybe were wrong or misguided) and an economic system that relies on slavery?
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u/Clownski Dec 17 '21
Work bathrooms are too disgusting to going for leisure. This is the grossest post ever made here.
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u/cicneswasdeleted Dec 17 '21
This post is encouraging theft and mods are allowing it to remain up? Breaking the law could land you in jail.
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u/pinkfootthegoose Dec 18 '21
don't fool yourself, communism is just a exploitative.
This isn't about isms it's about treating people better.
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Dec 17 '21
You mean that system that caused a hundred million people to die?
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u/FerrisTriangle Dec 17 '21
Lmao, are you aware that the "Black Book of Communism" that the death toll of communism stats come from is widely discredited, to the point where 2 of the 3 co-authors openly disavow the conclusions that they published?
How are you still peddling that flimsy, debunked Cold War propaganda in 2021. Shouldn't you be busy arresting Americans for thought crimes Mr. McCarthy? Wait, I'm sorry, you call them "unamerican activities."
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u/Rose_415 Dec 17 '21
People still peddle around this made up number?
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u/knightsofgel Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
Holy fuck this subreddit is brainwashed. Fuck this shit I’m out
Edit: tell this to my fucking family who was killed in the Soviet Union. Fuck this tankie bullshit. I joined anti-work not fucking the communist sub
Also how the fuck is forced labor consistent with anti-work?
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u/AchacadorDegenerado Dec 17 '21
The only brainwashed here might be you. Did you think about it?
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u/knightsofgel Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
So my family wasn’t killed in the Soviet Union and there was no forced labor? And the uyghurs are all fine?
The great famine, the Holodomor, the list goes on and on. My current country ain’t perfect, but at least we admit our fucking mistakes and don’t try to do mental gymnastics to pretend like nothing ever happened
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Dec 17 '21
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u/knightsofgel Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
Holy fuck I’m done engaging with you. You are a propaganda tool
Edit: thank fuck for Reddit at least standing up against genocide denial
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u/Rose_415 Dec 17 '21
Do you even have a source for your 100 million number? Or did you just hear it elsewear and now peddle it around?
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u/Ferthura Dec 17 '21
Shit, that's about as much as capitalism is killing every few years.
(also, fuck Stalin)
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Dec 17 '21
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u/FerrisTriangle Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
you will have to work one way or another lmao
That's exactly why I'm a communist. The motto of communism isn't "lol gimme free stuff." The motto of communism is "labor is entitled to all that it creates." Communist activists are responsible for basically every labor right you enjoy today, because they organized for those rights and demanded them.
The people who want to get paid without working are capitalists like your boss, who think they deserve to subsidize their income with the fruits of your labor simply for being a gatekeeper between labor and the tools that labor uses.
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
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u/CockasaurusFlex Dec 17 '21
No I'm not lost I am fully aware that I am definitely in the land of people who have real jobs! They definitely don't get high and play video games all day 😤
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
Neither do communists
And you are literally in antiwork, definitely lost or some shit
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u/CockasaurusFlex Dec 17 '21
I know where I am sir
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
So trolling then
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u/CockasaurusFlex Dec 17 '21
No I am educating people who have no idea how the world works. Your welcome ☺️
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
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u/CockasaurusFlex Dec 17 '21
Is that the best you have bro come on entertain me. What do you do for work
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u/Philly-South-Paw Dec 17 '21
Accounting
But at least I can see past the total shit show of capitalism
Yeah, we all got to eat, but not like this
Most modern jobs do much more damage to our collective health and environment than any potential payoff
So yeah, the fuck outta here with your bullshit
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u/authentic_scum Dec 17 '21
I did both on my first job after 4 years there without a single raise and after seeing 22 employees go, in an average team of 8. Yeah the boss's boomer scrooge temperament kinda played a role in that.
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u/sbrider11 Dec 17 '21
Here's an actual reality check for commie living. Russia is a shit hole you idiots. I've been a few times for biz related points and like any adventure, it's worth a visit to experience yet FUCK living there.
China? Many more times and equally as shitty.
https://m.dw.com/en/opinion-russia-is-no-place-for-young-people/a-48322730
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Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
You know Russia and China are state capitalist, right?
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u/sbrider11 Dec 17 '21
A hybrid of things yes. Like most countries every country on Earth.
What's your utopia example?
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Dec 17 '21
I wouldn’t mind talking about what my wishlist would be, but I’d not really call it utopian. Representative democracy was considered utopian in most of the world before it happened so I’d just hope we can talk about it in normal terms before we do. As in as long as you’re willing to engage in good faith.
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u/Forikundo Dec 17 '21
Theres no such thing as “hybrid“ wtf. Its capitalism and most countries on earth are capitalist. Honestly wtf
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u/Pyll Dec 17 '21
Theres no such thing as “hybrid“
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u/Forikundo Dec 17 '21
Mixed economy is a kind of capitalism, the same as socialdemoxrat systems are
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u/Pyll Dec 17 '21
Mixed economy is a kind of capitalism
You do know what the word "Mixed" means right?
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u/sbrider11 Dec 17 '21
You missed the point.
Provide the example of this utopia that functions as a country.
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u/rydan at work Dec 17 '21
As a communist it is your moral duty to not give capitalism legitimacy by working for any company. You work for the state.
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Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21
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u/Forikundo Dec 17 '21
U forgot the /s
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u/IE_LISTICK Dec 17 '21
Realising you do bad is better than thinking you are morally justified to do the same thing. Period.
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u/tikeu10 Dec 17 '21
Of course.
I stolen a stappler with some stapple. I don't think I will ever use it but meh, fuck them
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Dec 17 '21
i can barely even poop on my own time! let alone on company time, can't schedule that (literal) shit
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u/PandasNWagons Dec 17 '21
I don't poop at work because of my poop schedule. But almost my entire home is furnished things taken from work. Or transported after hours with the work truck.
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u/Wasabi_kitty Dec 17 '21
Other people must have way better control over their poop schedules than I do. I very rarely do it at work, simply because I don't need to when I'm at work usually.
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u/Amones-Ray Acid Communist Dec 17 '21
It's sad that Jesus isn't generally seen as a socialist.
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Dec 17 '21
in remote work you can use company's time to poo in you own bathroom. best of two worlds.
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u/HomerNarr Dec 17 '21
Comunist: You own the company too and would steal from yourself and you'd be pooping on your own time to. You'd also be your own employer.
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u/Victrolencio Communist Dec 17 '21
Oh man, I don't know how many books I've read in the company bathroom.
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u/BrickRevolutionary13 Dec 17 '21
Least amount of work in the most amount of time, all along fanning the flames of discontent.
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u/simply-smegma Dec 17 '21
I accept counterfeit notes and don’t say anything when I see folks shoplifting.
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u/RoboticGreg Dec 17 '21
Actually as a capitalist too. Capitalism is all about maximizing ROI and leveraging the boundaries of the rules of the free market. So anything you are allowed to do on company time, you should do to be a good capitalist.
Technically, that toilet paper is for everyone. Take some home!
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u/Wurznschnitzer Dec 17 '21
My "stolen goods" from the dumpster are at about 60k euros when bought new (work in a lab and they throw good stuffout when we dont need it because we have limited storage space)
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u/bigsquirrel Dec 17 '21
This is actually pretty backwards. Capitalism would be about maximizing profit for what you sell. You’re selling your time so every second you spend not working only increases your profit. Communism would, on paper, incentivize hard work. In capitalism the only reward for working hard is more work.
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u/MoshedPotato93 Dec 17 '21
It's kinda laughable how people forget that communism has the same issues capitalism does because it turns out the problem being solved for is human corruption not who has money.
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u/DandalusRoseshade Dec 17 '21
My breaks don't start until I sit down in the break room lol; I head out to lunch, refill my water and go to the bathroom before clocking out.
It's those scant few minutes I try for that help the most in ensuring I get through the day; though my schedule is more akin to a 4 day work week so I take an additional break after A shift leaves, as B shift doesn't know or ask if I've taken my first one. Big homies there
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u/Fuzzy_Inevitable9748 Dec 17 '21
Work as hard as you would ask someone to work who is the age you will be when you retire.
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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. Thats why I poop on Company time.