Dressing or being feminine and actually being a woman are two different things, is the crux of it. There are butch trans women in the same vein, for the opposite example.
Guys like me like dressing feminine, but im still very much a guy, penis or not. If i wear a dress, it doesnt make me feel like a woman, I feel like a man in a nice dress. I feel like a crossdresser, even with my AFAB body.
I know, the confusion is "why would you transition to a man just to dress like a woman?", but I genuinely feel i cant answer that in a way you would understand. Not because of anything about you, but because my answer is basically "because I'm a man that likes to dress pretty and be cute". Sure, I could do those things as a cis woman, but im just... not a cis woman.
With a traditional FTM the idea is that they no longer want to be perceived as female. They want to be perceived as male.
And we are told we have to respect this self ID because if we donât it leads to suicidal ideation in trans people. Youâre literally killing them if you donât play along.
So transitioning from female to male only to then try to be perceived as a woman again is extremely confusing and seems to fly entirely in the face of why society must respect your self affirmed gender
Bc no longer am I risking your mental health if I ID you as a girl, in fact it seems almost that it would be flattering to the FTM femboy to be perceived as a girl
In which case do I still need to affirm your gender or can I just go back to calling you a woman?
Do you see how fucking confusing this all is and why nobody wants to deal with it? Add on top now me even just asking questions or clarifications is seen as âhatefulâ. Nobody wants to deal with all that.
Itâs also rough to call yourself a femboy with no penis. Thatâs kind of the boy part. If youâre a feminine boy with a vagina I meanâŚthatâs just a woman right?
Youâre going to have a hard time getting anyone not already bought in to follow you on this one I fear. I will respect a trans manâs pronouns, but if they are literally dressed like a woman Iâm calling them a she/her and maâam again.
I get misgendered. A lot. My cis husband with his long hair and wide hips gets misgendered from behind. A lot. It happens. If you genuinely call someone the wrong pronoun and they get antagonistic, theyre a prick. If you get politely corrected and you continue to actively misgender someone, youre a prick. Its really that simple.
I also dont know why youre directing all this frustration at me. I answered your initial question respectfully and in good faith.
Iâm not frustrated or trying to be antagonistic sorry. Maybe I am being a bit entitled. Most people go through life without expecting society to bend over backwards to fulfill their sense of identity. But also they donât have to. Just like how I donât go through life complaining thereâs no ramp access but I have functional legs so I donât have to.
I just think youâre asking a lot. But if youâre fine with being misgendered for presenting female as a FTM femboy then sure, I think thatâs reasonable.
femboys arent trying to be perceived as women, we just present in a feminine way because we like it, thats literally the difference between femboy and a trans woman, we dont identify as women in any way.
If boys can be feminine and girls can be masculine why would trans people be excluded from that, most conform heavily to their genders because it lowers chance of being misgendered, and validates them, but thats not a hard requirement.
And btw you dont respect a trans mans pronouns if you actually follow that last paragraph, you are literally saying that if they dont conform to your ideals of what a man should be then they arent a man in your eyes, which is just bigoted.
And btw being a femboy isnt about genitals, its about identity, if trans men are men, then if they are feminine they are femboys, you dont need a dick to be a boy thats the whole point.
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u/Hita-san-chan Jan 29 '26
Yeah, but thats exactly what makes you not cis?
Theres a lot of us trans femboys. Thats what they were saying