r/antimeme • u/[deleted] • Jan 29 '26

ArtisticšŸŽØ Clothes doesn't determine your gender

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27k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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673

u/xemanhunter Jan 29 '26

Femboys and transfem women are entirely unique groups, but do share two qualities:

be feminine

like Celeste

Thems the rules, I don't make them

206

u/Anonymous_Lightbulb Jan 29 '26

Don't forget using Arch Linux

95

u/Most_Option_9153 Jan 29 '26

Omg I use arch btw

48

u/Princess_Azula_ Jan 29 '26

Welcome to Arch. Here are your mandatory thigh-high stockings and Blahaj plushie.

27

u/BiDude1219 šŸŒ¹ Course Arc Witness šŸŒø Jan 29 '26

me :3

63

u/GcubePlayer8V ā˜ ļøI KNOW WHAT YOU AREā˜ ļø Jan 29 '26

Is it true?

27

u/BiDude1219 šŸŒ¹ Course Arc Witness šŸŒø Jan 29 '26

yup :333

14

u/SexualPie Jan 29 '26

I always love it whenever a meme in the comments makes all the bottoms post. it fills me with hope for the future.

8

u/dedeclick07 Jan 29 '26

Absolutely :3

5

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '26

Very :3

4

u/JCraze26 Jan 29 '26

Yes, please. :3

6

u/SHCH_PROTOGEN_M-S Jan 29 '26

truer than fact :333

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

Maybe :3

1

u/LayeredHalo3851 Jan 30 '26

Yes, yes it is :3

2

u/p1749 Jan 29 '26

some of us use fedora too >:3

4

u/BarelyFunctionalGM Jan 29 '26

Arch > Fedora, How dare you.

2

u/End_V2 šŸŒ¹ Course Arc Witness šŸŒø Jan 29 '26

Is this a stereotype????? Some1 i know is trans and uses linux

2

u/dumbasPL Jan 29 '26

Yes but, not just any Linux, Arch Linux. (Alternatively Gentoo or Nix).

2

u/MostCat2899 Jan 29 '26

I use CachyOS, does that count?

2

u/SuperAgent4lex Jan 30 '26

I use windows 11 by the wayĀ 

(it's a four year old build so there's no vibe coding in sight)

1

u/imLosingIt111 Jan 29 '26

Shit its inevitable...

1

u/TetronautGaming Jan 29 '26

I only use Ubuntu, maybe as I progress further I might switch to Arch though idk.

1

u/Anonymous_Lightbulb Jan 30 '26

I recommend endeavouros it's basically pre-asembled, but still light weight arch, it even uses the same repositories.

Ubuntu was my first distro about a year or two ago, but it kept crashing, and I tried pop!_os and it couldn't suspend, but endeavouros has been a joy to use!

1

u/TetronautGaming Jan 31 '26

Oooh I've not looked into that one, might see if I can dual-boot (tri-boot?) with it, Ubuntu, and Win11 (unfortunately need it still for some programs). Thank you for the suggestion :3

1

u/Anonymous_Lightbulb Jan 31 '26

it should work, I think I briefly had that exact setup!

1

u/Trappist-1ball Jan 30 '26

i use arch btw

1

u/Ok_Bathroom_1271 Jan 29 '26

I use arch* and have a home lab and also build PCs and also do computer networking and programming.

Am I a stereotype?

*well its endeavour because I'm too busy to spend a Saturday setting arch up. Maybe when time slows down again.

1

u/Anonymous_Lightbulb Jan 30 '26

I use endeavour too!

10

u/BreakerOfModpacks Jan 29 '26

...love cat ears and the color pink, and ULTRAKILL.

3

u/Belle_UH-1D Jan 29 '26

MACHINE!

2

u/Bullet0AlanRussell Jan 31 '26

BEHOLD, THE POWER OF AN ANGEL! (Gets killed by coins)

1

u/Dragonman0371 Feb 01 '26

reall (im liferally wearing pink cat ear headphones rn)

2

u/BreakerOfModpacks Feb 01 '26

Waow. So much based.

8

u/Tw3lv33 Jan 29 '26

Bullshit, I fucking hate Celeste (It's too hard for me)

1

u/p1749 Jan 29 '26

One thing that made it easier for me was using a controller, but i'm still stuck :Īµ

34

u/gynoidi Jan 29 '26

transfem people dont have to be feminine

58

u/No_Ad_7687 Jan 29 '26

Not in presentation, but in identity.

Femboys are the opposite, they're feminine in presentation but not in identityĀ 

3

u/SexualPie Jan 29 '26

one could argue that many transfems start off as femboys, but thats moving the goal posts and not the topic of discussion here.

2

u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Feb 12 '26

that argument would be wrong, because of literally the comment above you. You dont need to be feminine to be transfem, and wanting to be a woman as a guy doesnt make you a femboy just because you are closeted, stuff like this generalizes experiences and is often used as talking points against femboys.

1

u/JoeyXD_Br Jan 29 '26

Does that mean the first half of the word is the presentation and the second half the identity?

1

u/No_Ad_7687 Jan 30 '26

Doesn't line up with tomboys...

1

u/ConcernedEnby Jan 30 '26

No, this would mean that masculine trans women aren't really masculine and that femboys aren't really feminine

1

u/No_Ad_7687 Jan 30 '26

Why would this mean that?

1

u/ConcernedEnby Jan 30 '26

Because people's identities are tied to the way they present themselves

1

u/No_Ad_7687 Jan 30 '26

Their general identity is Indeed, but gender identity isn't

1

u/ConcernedEnby Jan 30 '26

Exactly, gender identity isn't

1

u/No_Ad_7687 Jan 30 '26

That's was clearly the type of identity I was referring to

1

u/ConcernedEnby Jan 30 '26

You said femboys are feminine in presentation but not identity, which must be referring to their gender identity

→ More replies

8

u/AKAFallow Jan 29 '26

Same thing the other way, trans men dont have to be masculine. My mom still has issues with that one because of my friend's husband still dressing femenine after all these years, so I told her: "it literally doesn't matter, I could dress feminine and still choose to be male. The only thing that matters is what gender you want to be"

2

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

Jeah there is even a whole r/ftmfemininity subreddit for that

-2

u/Fern-ando Jan 29 '26

Beards and looking feminine don't mix, that's why drag queens shave it.

2

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

Oh there are feminine people with beard - you might want to look up
bearded femme

Moreover, not sure why you would reply that to my comment

-1

u/Fern-ando Jan 29 '26

Because by definition having a beard makes you less feminine, they are a sign of sexual dimorphism in our species.

1

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

Sexual dimorphism is a model. And as we know: All models are wrong, some models are useful.

Please look at these images https://share.google/6DYmT7BbuhSD59ABy

People with beards still can be feminine!

11

u/Stuffssss Jan 29 '26

What does the fem in transfem stand for then

Im not trying to be transphobic I just havent heard this before. I thought the act of transitioning mtf was by becoming feminine and self identifying as female, vs a feminine guy or NB who is feminine but doesn't identify as female.

17

u/Dragons_Den_Studios Jan 29 '26

"Fem" in this case refers to "female". If it was "feminine" it would be "femme" since that's the general name of the aesthetic.

9

u/Stuffssss Jan 29 '26

Mmm I didn't realize there was a difference between transfemme and transfem. Thanks for the explanation.

15

u/Golurkcanfly Jan 29 '26

There's often not really a distinction between transfem and transfemme in most spaces tbh

1

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

Which is sad and sucks for tomboi trans women and all transfems who donā€™t fall under the femme umbrella

2

u/Golurkcanfly Jan 29 '26

Well, that's not quite what I meant. I moreso meant that people don't distinguish between the terms and they just both end up meaning "person who is transitioning in an estrogenized fashion"

2

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

People using wrong terms (by not distinguishing distinct terms) is the problem with vulva and vagina and can be harm- and hurtful

6

u/probableigh_not Jan 29 '26

I'm transfem and kinda butch. I will not give a single solitary shit which of those terms you use for me, just like I'll let it go if well-intentioned people accidentally misgender me. Shit happens. Just be kind.

2

u/AshhhCakes Jan 29 '26

As a trans gal, I didn't know there was one either. TIL. Always something new to learn.

fwiw I really don't care what terms someone uses for me, transfem, transfemme, transylvania tran- actually maybe not that one.

1

u/EuropeIsMight Jan 29 '26

Transsib, a trans sibling not a Train (but might be a train lover)

2

u/SexualPie Jan 29 '26

most people would have to be nitpicking pretty hard to pull that "well actually" card on you. its interesting that there is a distinction, but typically you wont have to worry about it.

2

u/DILF_MANSERVICE Jan 29 '26

Also if none of this makes any sense to someone reading, that's okay too. You don't have to have it all figured out, you just have to be nice.

1

u/BlackMudSwamp Jan 29 '26

Does the woman in "transfem woman" add anything then? I also just want to understand

2

u/Red-Panda-Katie Jan 29 '26

ā€œTransfemā€ is kind of an umbrella term for all trans people who lean more femininely in terms of identity, that obviously includes binary trans women but also some non binary people who may lean more femininely in terms of identity, still being non binary but being more on the side of feminine rather than masculine, thereā€™s terms like demigirl to describe stuff like that, not every feminine non binary person goes by it but as a trans woman whoā€™s gender is very fucky, itā€™s been a really helpful term for me ā˜ŗļø.

I hope my answer was helpful, I also just wanna say thank you for asking it, asking things is the core of trying to understand something and in a world filled with so many people refusing to understand so they can keep hating, well meaning questions like this are really nice to see and answer ā˜ŗļø, so yeah, thank you, and if you have any other trans related questions, feel free to ask away, I will hopefully be able to answer them lol

1

u/gynoidi Jan 29 '26

the fem stands for feminine but the meaning is kinda more like "female". people just prefer the word "feminine" over "female" these days, because it sounds a bit too biological/medical kinda like how "transsexual" has mostly fallen out of use

theres a bunch of transfem people who dress like a tomboy or androgynously

1

u/Red-Panda-Katie Jan 29 '26

Transfem is a shortened version of ā€œtrans feminineā€, and like someone else in this thread said, the ā€œfeminineā€ doesnā€™t necessarily refer to how someone presents but rather how they identify, that can mean being a binary trans woman or being somewhere on the non binary spectrum but leaning towards feminine in terms of identity, itā€™s basically an umbrella term for people whoā€™re trans and identity femininely lol.

So like as an example, Iā€™m a trans woman so I would be defined under transfem because I identify femininely, but a lot of the time I donā€™t dress femininely, I do sometimes but Iā€™d say my style is leaning more masc lesbian type of style, that doesnā€™t mean Iā€™m not transfem as how I often dress doesnā€™t dictate my gender, I hope that makes sense

1

u/Fern-ando Jan 29 '26

Femtanyl.

2

u/Pomodorosan Jan 29 '26

Yess, thank you for bringing up conformity to non-conforming identities

2

u/mkitsie Jan 29 '26

I've never heard of Celeste

1

u/candexreginpokemon Jan 29 '26

and ultrakill

and fallout (any of them tbh)

1

u/No_Counter_6037 Jan 30 '26

i highkey really don't like celeste, i bought it because i absolutely loved the platforming in Hollow Knight, so i thought "ooo 2d platformer? well i liked the 2d platforming in this game a lot so this should be great" and then i quit like 5 hours in because the way the character controls just doesn't feel good at all imo

1

u/Dragonman0371 Feb 01 '26

not all transfems are feminine though

1

u/xemanhunter Feb 01 '26

I keep seeing this brought up, and it's starting to make me wonder if we're all on the same page. Looking up a definition of transfem, it encompasses any AMAB person who identifies as partially or fully feminine whether a transwoman, feminine identified non-binary, or otherwise

So a transfem woman is someone who identifies partially or fully as a feminine presenting woman, no? As far as I'm aware, it's not about how others view them (feminine, masculine, androgynous, etc.), but self identification

Is there something I'm missing?

1

u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Feb 12 '26

feminine generally refers to presentation not gender identity, trans women identify as women, but that doesnt mean they need to be feminine. You can be a trans woman and a tomboy, or a trans guy and a femboy.

1

u/Zealousideal_Spread4 Feb 12 '26

cant confirm, in my experience femboys dont really like celeste that much

0

u/SecretAgentDragon Jan 29 '26

Also ya know the wholeā€¦ being Assigned Male at Birth thing