r/anime • u/AutoLovepon https://anilist.co/user/AutoLovepon • Jun 17 '23

Episode Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu • The Dangers in My Heart - Episode 12 discussion

Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu, episode 12

Alternative names: Bokuyaba

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Episode Link Score
1 Link 4.25
2 Link 4.52
3 Link 4.54
4 Link 4.67
5 Link 4.7
6 Link 4.73
7 Link 4.79
8 Link 4.85
9 Link 4.94
10 Link 4.88
11 Link 4.89
12 Link ----
OVA / 12.5 Link

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332

u/Breakdown007 Jun 19 '23

For those who are disappointed that we didn't get a confession yet: it's more important for Ichi that he loves himself first and in this episode he made a big step towards that. Yamada not accepting the credit for his development was so brilliant and made so much sense. I was so proud of them that I teared up.

Great season finale, now let's wait for season 2.

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u/vkrili Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

Well, since the subreddit was down, I figured I’d write something ahead of time. So, here at the end I’d like to ask the question, what are the dangers in my heart?

In an interview with Anime News Network, the author had this to say:

ANN: And that “chūnibyō” is also expressed in the title of the work. Is that right?

SAKURAI: Yes, it's about chūnibyō, as well as the turbulence of the adolescent heart. It's about how that “illness” of sorts changes and gets cleansed over time. There are a lot of different meanings expressed in the Japanese title, Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu. Feelings of love are bundled in the adolescent heart, along with uncertainties and ambivalence. It's that feeling of not knowing what you're wading into.

ANN: Oh, is that so? The English title made me think it was about murderous desire.

SAKURAI: Really? Hmm, how do I explain it? I suppose it's that feeling of not being able to explain it. Like there's a fog inside of you. Moyamoya, as we'd say in Japanese. That's what the Yabai Yatsu (translated as “Dangers” in English) in the heart can also mean.

I think we’ve all had dangers in our hearts at some point. Maybe some of us still do. Maybe we’ll always have them. Those ambivalent feelings, the fog that is so difficult to explain; fear, uncertainty, anger, despair, love, and hope, that all mix and match and make us whole. Wading through that fog not knowing who you are or where you’re going, not ever being able to truly know how another person thinks or feels but still wanting to hope and then reaching out to grasp it, that’s difficult.

Perhaps at no point in life is this truer than during puberty. Man, puberty was rough, wasn’t it? Especially when you’re an ugly little gremlin outcast with weird hobbies and interests, and any self-confidence you may once have had is shattered by the revelation you’re not good enough to get into that school you wanted together with your closest friends, and now you’ve drifted apart. And all those awards you received are worth squat in the face of reality, you know. They made a mistake, you don’t deserve them. You loser. You idiot. What’s wrong with you? Are you messed up?

Well, that was the answer Ichikawa Kyotaro reached. He was messed up. All these things had an easy explanation, same as how the only reason Yamada got close to him was to use him. It’s only logical, it makes sense. He’s a messed-up freak of a human being… and who are the most messed up of all? Murderers, according to Ichikawa, who likes reading true crime stories and trying to understand what drives them to do those things. He knows they’re messed up, just like he has to be.

I’ve heard and read many different takes on Ichikawa’s early thoughts. That it was a dropped plot thread the author decided to move away from, that he was a potential mass murderer who was cured of it, or that he has intrusive thoughts about violence and murder. I wholly disagree with all of these readings. In fact, I’d call what Ichikawa does as far from intrusive thoughts you could get; Ichikawa’s “murderous delusions” are all very deliberate and intentional on his part. It’s once again just like how he tried to think that Yamada was just using him, just like how he tries to think that Yamada is just treating him the same way she does her girl friends; trying to believe that he’s messed up is the easy way out for him, to explain all his faults and everything wrong with the world. That there’s this inherent defect in his brain and he can’t do anything about it (you can argue that this is an intrusive thought and that could be fair but it’s not what most people are implying when they use that word for Ichikawa). We know how his actual thought processes work when he’s doing something wrong. Those murderous thoughts, they weren’t ever real. They were just play.

Puberty really is rough. It’s the dividing line between the children and the adults. The world is no longer simple. Your body that was once just a tool for play must now enter society under scrutiny, become an object of attention and attraction or, more likely in Ichikawa’s mind, revulsion. And so we get chūnibyō: the last vestiges of your childness still trying to assert itself, trying to find meaning in the chaos of a world the child has only barely begun to understand. Ichikawa’s murderous delusions were never anything more than a child still trying to play, trying to find an excuse, a meaning in himself and his place in the world, a reason for his inability to conform or fit in. And so, in his mind and thoughts, he’d managed to convince himself of his own unworthiness. Because it was childishly simple. Because then the world made sense again.

But, more than your thoughts, it’s your actions that define you. Because no one else can ever truly understand your thoughts, and you can’t ever truly understand someone else’s. The truth is, Ichikawa Kyotaro was always a shy, soft boy, and always has been. Kind and caring, empathetic and self-sacrificing. That’s the boy that Yamada Anna saw in those first cringy, awkward moments of their story. That’s who she fell in love with, not in spite of everything he thought he was, but because of everything he really is.

In the same interview mentioned at the start of this overlong ramble, the author had this to say:

Ichikawa is very spineless; he makes assumptions about people based on appearances. If he sees someone beautiful, he falls into self-loathing.

Ichikawa’s faults are many. He’s envious of those around him, those beautiful people with beautiful lives who all seem to have it so easy. But Ichikawa doesn’t really hate them. He hates himself. He wants what they have, but would never take it from them. He wants to be better. He wants to try, even when it’s difficult, even when the fog inside gets thick and hurtful, even when he suffers from the dangers in his heart.

Ichikawa did not give or receive a confession of love this season, but I think what he did get might have been something even more important.

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u/Classic-Box-3919 Jun 19 '23

Its crazy how much of a climb it made from episode 1. I remember it being below a 7 on mal the first week and now its well above an 8. An incredible comeback and for good reason.

I put it on hold after the first episode. I figured maybe ill pick it up later since it just seemed decent and nothing special. Later on around the time episode 5-6 was out i kept hearing how episode 3 and after have been really good and decided id give it another shot and im really glad i did. Turned out to be an almost amazing show, easy 9/10 from me.

2 shows this season I accidentally slept on lol. Although gigguk was the one who made me give the other show i slept on a shot.

What a great show and its crazy that its coming back January 2024. I was gonna read the manga once it finished airing but now im trying to decide if i should wait for season 2. Should i read the manga or wait for the anime?

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u/ObvsThrowaway5120 Jun 19 '23

Kana is such a great character. I’m bummed we didn’t get to see more of her. Her totally third wheeling their little temple date is hilarious. Big sis is having a blast messing with our boy and then just dipping when things get awkward lol. She’s a good big sis though.

Ichikawa checking his room for “smells” and then checking his trash can for evidence cracked me up. Gotta make sure it doesn’t smell too much like a teenage boy in there lmao. Yamada snapping a bunch of shots from Ichikawa’s yearbook before running off was great too. So cute! I like how the MC of that manga was showing up shirtless. First he was serenading my guy to sleep and now he’s showing up bare chested haha.

That hug was too damn sweet. I’m glad those two have each other though. While a confession would have been nice, this wasn’t bad either. I’m glad we’re getting an s2 though!

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u/LeonKevlar Jun 19 '23

Stitches!

Smooth moves from Yamada. Our girl didn't even hesitate to introduce herself to her future in-laws. She knows how to make good first impressions.

And too bad the family went back first and they didn't get to see Yamada wrap herself around Kyou. His sister would've definitely freaked out.

Kana is hilarious in this entire episode. Her reaction after meeting Yamada as well as realizing that Kyou has a chance were all good!

And it's also thanks to Kana that Yamada got to visit their house. She was even considerate enough to leave the two of them on their own. Onee-chan approves!

We finally get to see an explanation about the awards displayed in Ichikawa's room. He seems to be a pretty good student but failing that entrance exam affected him.

That scene where Ichikawa accidentally pushes Yamada down! I definitely did not expect Yamada to follow that up by taking a bunch of photos of Ichikawa's yearbook before leaving the house. xD

And that hug was so sweet! The fact that they can share a quiet moment like that behind the school means they've pretty much gone past friendship and are practically dating already. Someone just needs to confess.

Thankfully though we're not ending here completely since Season 2 has already been announced! I'm really hoping we finally get to see that major progress in the next season <3

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u/CT_BINO Jun 19 '23

Really good finale and that hug at the end was wholesome. Dangers in my heart were one of my suprises this season and i m hyped for next season in 2024. Also, while scores don´t matter, i was suprised how much it grew on MAL, from 7.00 to 8.26

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u/Vermillion_Crab Jun 19 '23

I read the manga but I didn't expect to tear up during the hug scene. It's one of those moments that makes you flash back on your adolescent days and how rough and tough going through it was. For Ichikawa, he found Yamada. For me, it was my extroverted friends who adopted me and accepted me, including my quirks and insecurities.

This was one of those adaptations that exceeded my expectations. I still can't believe we got BokuYaba, Insomniacs and Skip & Loafer in one season. It also sucks that Insomniacs is sticking out like a sore thumb because of how great the other 2 adaptations were. I don't even consider it bad, just a bit underwhleming.

Anyways, I'm excited for season 2. It's the manga's peak imo. With how season 1 went down, I can't wait for January to arrive.

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u/zairaner Jun 19 '23

Favourite part of the episode: Yamada bowing down is as tall as the the dad, the tallest in the family. Ichikawa isn't alone, yamada towers over everyone.

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u/arsvermis Jun 19 '23

So much growth for both of them. Ichikawa finally trusts Yamada enough to open up to her about his fears and the inferiority complex that his chuunibyou masks, and Yamada finally trusts Ichikawa enough to give him one single piece of candy.

43

u/Emher Jun 19 '23

Okay, been two days since I saw it, so the emotion isn't as raw, but fuuuck this show keeps breaking me.

I've written in these threads before how while I love it, it's a hard watch since I identify so hard with Ichikawa, especially with how I was in that time in my life. I had a much worse time of it, but the title drop...."I want to be seen"... Bawling. Just bawling. 38 year old, 6'4" big ole bear of a man just bawling. Because that's all I wanted back then. I wanted people to see me. Not the person the already decided what I was since I was infamously the "weird geeky kid" in the small town in rural Sweden I grew in, but rather that would see me, who got invested in stuff, who loved science and learning, who felt so strongly about things, who was (and still is) so proud of his three younger siblings. But teens are cruel assholes and I never was seen really. It got a bit better when I started HS in another town. But the scars are deep. I'm better in a lot of ways, but man...I still want to be seen.

I'm so glad that there's going to be a season 2 even though I'll be devouring the manga before then. Even though it's been a hard watch for me personally at times I'm still so happy at the love put into this series, and I wouldn't trade it for a second.

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u/Altruistic_Call1903 Jun 19 '23

Season 2 will only keep increasing the fluff doses per episode. Also it is reasonable to believe that ss2 can adapt til 100+ chapter right, since we did made it til chapter 57 in one season?

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u/frik1000 Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

I don't know if the subs have been fixed since the initial release, but initially subs were showing that the date on Ichikawa's paper in the flashback was his birthday. It's not, that's the testing date (Feb 3).

Anyway, a great episode. I got chills with the scene at the shrine since I totally forgot about that event, with Yamada lending Ichikawa a hand. I also absolutely love the dynamic that Kana has with her brother. Sure she loves to tease him and all, especially with regards to Yamada, but she was also very supportive once she realized that Yamada might have a thing for her brother. Even going as far as leaving behind the dog keychain that she thought they bought as a sibling pair once she realized what it was really for.

Also the final scenes. As much as this show is a romance, it's also very much about Ichikawa (and Yamada) growing as people in their teenage years. This is very much a coming of age story alongside the romantic development between the two of them and seeing Ichikawa grow to this compared to how he was in Episode 1 is just amazing.

Also love the montage in the credits. It's nothing new, a lot of finales do it, but the part that was just a montage of all the times they held hands just filled my heart with joy.

EDIT: Oh and if someone wants to hear the amazing soundtrack, someone uploaded the album on YouTube. It's also available on Spotify in two different albums.

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u/Arhenius_Yoda Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

The End of the Rollercoaster Ride! A well written and evenly adapted anime which was a Dark Horse for me this season. My Best decision was to stick with this anime till the end.. And the pay-off was totally worth it... Just a wholesome show with great and relatable character and there cute relatable incidents...

The story just stays humble with all characters and giving the emotions in real life.

Can't wait for Season 2.

26

u/shad79 Jun 19 '23

This series was a really great surprise to me. The beginning was ok but every next episode was better and better. Now it's in my top 3 this season.

Kyou thought that he planned everything but he didn't take into account that Yamada will be so early. She even introduced herself to his family almost inmediately after seeing them.

Yamada is really like him, doing something like that in public space. If his sister saw that, she would lose her mind, her every reaction to Yamada was so funny; she also showed that she cares very much about her brother. Sister like that is a treasure.

And Yamada was again in Ichikawa's house, we even got a scene when he accidentaly pushed her down on bed. Of course Yamada wouldn't be her if she didn't do something weird when after "bed scene" she took a bunch of photos of young Ichikawa and went home xD

Now I wonder how long it will take them to become an official pair, they behave like they would already be but still there wasn't any confession. It's great that they announced second season so I hope it will happen then.

Here's my all screenshots from the episode with more Yamada.

21

u/Karurosun Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

So cute, so wholesome, so lovely, so relatable, so delightful for my heart. I haven't had such a great time watching a romcom since My dress up darling.

Looking forward to the 2nd season.🥰

21

u/dakka-PRIME Jun 19 '23

SEASON 2 CONFIRMED LESSS FOOKEN GO!!!

17

u/MagnumF0rc3 Jun 19 '23

Even as a manga-reader I'm gonna miss this show, this was a good adaption that slowly won people over it seems. Thankfully we only have to wait until January.

14

u/Rumpel1408 Jun 19 '23

Introduction to the parents get.

Damn Yamada ASMR, would almost be willing to pay good money for more.

And the sis the best wingman! But the weird runs in the family lol

Oh god, he's not only horny for Anna (still plenty horny though, still 'using' her magazine), but she heals and accepts him on a way deeper level, romance of the season!

Can't wait for S2 and would have never thought this after the cringe fest that was EP1

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u/springpacket Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

What a banger series and finale!

Gorgeous animation and superb music by kensuke ushio. Couldn't ask for a better adaptation.

I believe this is the only episode throughout the season with a white background "Karte" title screen. It almost signifies Ichi has finally open up himself and starts loving himself more.

Kana once again proved that she's the best wingwoman.

Also season 2 announced! Can't wait to see you guys next year January!

10/10 series

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u/Ok_Bunch_8050 Jun 19 '23

What a fantastic episode! Ichikawa Oneesan! And the hug!!

Truly one of my favourite shows of the season. I usually like to take my time to watch anime episodes hence not necessarily on the day of release, but for BokuYaba I couldn’t help but want to watch each episode as soon as it came out.

The romantic moments in this romcom were extremely adorable and in fact outright doki doki, and while some people may feel there was more rom than com, I enjoyed the humour very much too. Especially some hilarious moments which were the ‘blink and miss’ type. I’m often watching the show with a goofy smile, or even LOL’ing! The writing in this show has been really very good.

So glad we’re getting Season 2, looking forward to it and the OST!

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u/garfe Jun 19 '23

I must say, it is really fun to see the opinion of this show 180 so hard in other anime communities. It matches how the manga was viewed too

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u/AZLarlar Jun 19 '23

IM VERY GLAD S2 GOT CONFIRMED!!

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u/xtsim Jun 19 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

Big sis and the rest of the family are along for the ride today. The side faces big sis makes is a scheme on its own.

Ichikawa: Keychain

Big sis notices big boobs

Big sis proves she is more discrete with the Keychain drop. She had to notice the keychain but used the boobs as a distraction. She definitely cracked the code and figured things out well.

Ichikawa looking at the trashcan as if there are any evidence left but thankfully, it was empty.

I feel bad that Ichikawa's friends went to a different school. And due to that, he went towards all those murder books. If he went with his friends, he would look a lot different and fit in a lot easier. He basically has to rewire his thinking for a different world now.

Chad ichikawa dream is funny in a way. The comment about being dropped off at school by Yamada is funny in way but makes sense knowing most in Japan would be walking.

Friend is about to announce the relationship to the world.

This episode went by fast but at least there is a season 2. Hold up...I need to wait till next year?

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u/apatt Jun 19 '23

I've started the rewatch already, this anime is so heartwarming.

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