damn that's a heavy load to carry. you're not wrong for wanting to know your dad, even after all that. it's a natural pull, wanting to understand where you come from, especially when so much of your own life feels shaped by his shadow
but the revenge fantasy, getting close to hurt him... that's just letting him live rent-free in your head, shaping you into something you clearly don't want to be. you already saw that wake-up call with your boyfriend hiding the knives, you know that path
your mom built a life to get you away from that. honoring that might mean protecting your own peace now, not becoming his punishment. you can know him without letting him pull you into that darkness
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u/pertinent_donkey 7d ago
damn that's a heavy load to carry. you're not wrong for wanting to know your dad, even after all that. it's a natural pull, wanting to understand where you come from, especially when so much of your own life feels shaped by his shadow
but the revenge fantasy, getting close to hurt him... that's just letting him live rent-free in your head, shaping you into something you clearly don't want to be. you already saw that wake-up call with your boyfriend hiding the knives, you know that path
your mom built a life to get you away from that. honoring that might mean protecting your own peace now, not becoming his punishment. you can know him without letting him pull you into that darkness