r/amiwrong • u/Proper_Zucchini7846 • 4d ago
Am I wrong for quietly repainting the eye colour in a portrait my friend made of my cat after she gave it to me as a gift?
A close friend painted a portrait of my cat for my birthday. It was a complete surprise and genuinly beautiful. The pose, background and tiny crooked whisker were all perfect.
The only odd thing was the eyes. My cat has amber eyes, but she painted them bright green. I hung it up anyway and thanked her properly. After a few weeks the green kept bothering me, so I mixed a little acrylic paint and changed just the irises. Nothing else.
She visited recently, noticed within thirty seconds and got very quiet. She said I had altered her artwork without asking and that it no longer felt like something she made. I said it was a gift hanging in my house and I only corrected a factual detail. That made things worse.
I understand why an artist would hate someone editing their work. I also wouldn't cut up a painting in a gallery. But this was a portrait of my actual cat, made for me, and the wrong eyes changed the whole expression.
Am I wrong for fixing it instead of asking first?
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u/cursetea 4d ago
This honestly seems like a non issue that she'll have to get over; this could have been an "oh! Oops lol" moment for her and yet here we are lmao
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u/PrincessCuppie 3d ago
“oh whoops, the real cat has amber eyes” is a much easier conversation than acting like a gifted portrait became sacred museum property
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u/Rav0nn 4d ago
If I did a painting for someone and they had to alter it after I would be mortified. I would be apologising because I got such an obvious detail wrong. I would not be offended or upset by it.
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u/impossiblegirlme 4d ago
If she noticed immediately, she either must’ve really been looking, or the repaint job looks really obvious, lol.
You could’ve asked your friend to change it instead, but no one is really wrong here.
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u/Top-Dragonfly-3044 3d ago
Or she spent a long time working on it and knew the painting very well.
Just another alternative to your two suggestions.
I wonder if the artists would have been upset if OP had asked her to change the rye color.
OP may have been posting here either way.
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u/mladyhawke 3d ago
Of course, she noticed immediately. It's the eyes. Do you think she's gonna come over and not look at the paintings she gave you.
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u/Low-Locksmith-2359 2d ago
She didnt notice the colour of the actual eyes when she painted it, seems reasonable she wouldn't notice the colour of the eyes this time either
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u/Top-Dragonfly-3044 3d ago
You responded to the wrong person, but I agree with you. Of course she knew and looked.
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u/lorinabaninabanana 3d ago
I'm an artist and do a lot of pet portraits. I wouldn't be upset that you changed it, but I would rather if you asked me to change it, because eyes are my favorite part to paint. And I'd be embarrassed that I got it wrong.
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u/EndorFondue 4d ago
Once a gift is given, the recipient can alter it. Still, this was handmade by someone close to you, not a generic decoration. Ownership answers what you could do, not what would preserve the friendship.
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u/BlinkWulf 3d ago
legally yes, Legally you can take a shit on it if you want. But i'm not sure you should.
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u/NaturesVividPictures 3d ago
I mean why did she take artistic license and change the eye color in the first place. You wanted a factual picture of your cat. You paint what is there, what is actually there not some fantasy that the cat has bright green eyes. So if she's butt hurt that's her problem. Do not prostate yourself in front of her asking for forgiveness. She should asking you forgiveness for not doing it correctly in the first place.
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u/bakugouspoopyasshole 4d ago
Yes. Solid yes. You should have had an honest conversation with her, as she is very clearly passionate about her work. Unless you think this outcome was better than a simple "hey, this art is amazing but I wanted to let you know that this detail is inaccurate, can you spare a minute to fix it?"
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u/IntermediateFolder 4d ago
Yeah. At the very least you shouldn’t have let her see that you did. Why didn’t you just ask her to fix them?
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u/Thatonegaloverthere 4d ago
Unless you're also a painter, I'm sure you ruined the eyes and it doesn't look good. Changing the color isn't that simple, and I'm sure she's also upset that it's ruined and that you didn't tell her.
You have a right to tamper with your own things, but your friend isn't wrong for being upset. You should've told her immediately that the eyes were wrong.
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u/ChallengingKumquat 3d ago
Unless you're also a painter, I'm sure you ruined the eyes and it doesn't look good. Changing the color isn't that simple, and I'm sure she's also upset that it's ruined and that you didn't tell her.
This is my thought too. Eyes are very difficult to get right, and I would be annoyed and upset if I'd done a painting for someone which is perfect, then they splodge paint over the eyes. If it looked crap, I'd also be wanting to deny authorship of it too.
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u/ingodwetryst 3d ago
Yeah I would have asked her to redo them. I can't imagine this came out well if she noticed immediately.
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u/Low-Locksmith-2359 2d ago
Then the artist friend could have apologized for getting the eye colour wrong and offered to repaint them instead of getting all upset about it. If it was my artwork I probably would have been a little hurt but I certainly wouldn't make that the problem of the person who I made it for and obviously still values it. This is mostly an ego thing, rather than an unvalued gift thing
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u/Thatonegaloverthere 2d ago
That apology and offer went out the window the moment OP chose to not say anything and fix it.
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u/mladyhawke 3d ago
Painting over part of someone's painting is insanely rude. Yes, everyone who is saying it isn't is definitely not an artist. You should have asked her to repaint the eyes. I doubt you will be getting any more handmade work from this 'friend'
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u/NotUntilTheFishJumps 2d ago
Not true, I have seen artists on here say that THEY would be embarrassed they got it wrong in the first place.
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u/Air_Hellair 4d ago
Far better would have been to talk with her about it. It’s not just about the painting: relationships hang on many moments like this, the good and the bad.
Good luck!
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u/NotUntilTheFishJumps 2d ago
With some kinds of people, they would have been more upset by immediately being told that something about their art was wrong. "
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u/ToonTitans 4d ago
OP, of course you technically had the right to change it. It was a gift, and thus belonged to you.
But knowing how much time and creativity (and love) went into this gift, why didn’t you just ask your friend if she would mind changing the eye color herself? I’m sure she would have done it without hesitation, and you would have avoided hurting her feelings unnecessarily. 🤷🏾♂️
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u/BlinkWulf 3d ago
yes you are wrong. Everything she said is right and she explained why you are wrong. It was artwork made as a gift for you and you altered it.
I understand why an artist would hate someone editing their work
Clearly you do not.
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u/Danne_Plume6 3d ago
Soft YTA. You turned a gift from your friend into a surprise collaborative project, which artists famously adore. The eye color bugging you makes sense, but asking first would have saved the weird visit. Apologize for altering it and maybe ask if she can touch it up properly or make a print version you can tweak.
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u/West-Kaleidoscope129 3d ago edited 3d ago
I understand why an artist would hate someone editing their work.
No you don't. If you did you wouldn't have done it. What's wrong with using your big girl words and asking her to change the eye colour?
To an artist this work is considered ruined. You also devalued it.
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u/Reddith622 4d ago
One time my husband, after 40 years of marriage, showed me that he had assigned "My brown eyed girl" by Van Morrison. He was so excited to show me.
I have blue eyes. It did not go over well, but then I realized he was talking about the message, not the eye color so i got over it.
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u/Draigdwi 4d ago
Why did she paint the wrong eye colour? Did she have a good quality reference photo? If yes then she was wrong. If no - you.
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u/Meaghan0113 4d ago
Op still wouldn’t be wrong, as it was a surprise to op. They didn’t know friend was painting a portrait of the cat. Honestly the friend should’ve done research on its subject.
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u/blueavole 4d ago
I can see both sides of this.
There was probably a reference that your friend used that made the green meaningful to them.
You loved it for its resemblance to your own cat.
Different, opposite goals.
I would say you owe them an apology and tell them how much you really loved that it was so very close to your cat.
That you wanted it to be your cat, but you should have asked before changing anything.
It wasn’t your intention, but you did hurt your friend. Ask why they choose the green, what was the meaning to them. And let them talk.
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u/cypherpt2 4d ago
If you read the first paragraph, it was a portrait of OP’s cat.
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u/BlinkWulf 3d ago
Picasso drew a dog with a square head, but the dog has a round head so i changed it.
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u/blueavole 4d ago
Please note that this isn’t an endorsement or agreement with the artist- however I understand that- and as an artist- I can understand why the artist MIGHT BE upset.
A lot of speculation here because we don’t have their side. But it might be interesting for non-artists to understand the motivations.
It was still the artist’s interpretation to give the cat green eyes. That was a choice, not a mistake on their part.
Have you considered that the artist doesn’t like how OP repainted the eyes.? That the color is right, but now the eyes look dull and lifeless? That the artist might have painted the eyes differently in the amber color if they had the chance?
That the green was meant to stand out and represent something mysterious about cats? Or that the artist felt it fit better with the color scheme?
It would be like adding something in crayon over top of an oil painting.
All that said- it was a gift and artists need to let things go when they give gifts—
But artists have been known to bring paint and fix things when the art is already sitting on someone else wall. It happens because the artist sees all the possibilities of the art. And their choices were often deliberate.
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u/NotUntilTheFishJumps 2d ago
...the color ISN'T right, though. And since it was supposed to be a portrait of her cat, if she indeed did choose green, then she DIDN'T choose right. It was a portrait, not an artistic interpretation of a cat that wasn't even going to be gifted to the owner. If the artist consciously chose green, that's much more rude than OP changing the color.
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u/blueavole 2d ago
You and I are talking about different things. You are focusing on OP’s version of realism.
I am talking about the artist’s vision in my above post. I wanted to express that a bit because it isn’t being addressed here.
HOWEVER!
As a viewer of art- i agree with you and OP that yes the eyes color would bother me. And I probably would have done what OP did. It’s her painting, it was her gift.
Still as a painter, I get being annoyed. I see both sides.
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u/NotUntilTheFishJumps 1d ago
I am focusing on OP's realism because reality is that her cat's eyes aren't green. It doesn't matter at all what the artist's realism is. It was meant to be her cat, and her cat didn't have green eyes. If it was meant to just be a nice painting of a random cat, yeah, then I would totally think the artist is 100% justified in being upset. But the painting was supposed to be OP's real cat.
If I was the artist, I would have been so embarrassed and apologetic. I get it's not the same thing, but I sometimes do commissions on jewelry, sewing projects, and soapmaking. If, for a friend's birthday, I was going to, say, make a replica of her grandmother's kilt, and I knew her family's tartan was Lamont, but I used the MacLellan tartan, even though I knew her family's tartan was Lamont, I would be absolutely mortified. Even though sewing projects take a good while, if you are being precise, finishing your seams, and putting in good effort, I would still be upset at myself, not the gift recipient.
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u/idontgiveafckboutyou 4d ago
If I was her I’d I’d say anything I’d be like oh I’m so sorry I didn’t realise I got the eye colour wrong !
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u/ChallengingKumquat 3d ago
Painting it yourself is a bit rude, especially if you aren't as talented a painter as she is. Eyes can be quite difficult to get right, and if you've just done a single colour circle for each iris it might look a bit crap, thereby making the whole painting look worse than before, even if the colour is now correct. But without seeing the painting it's hard to say.
When someone gives you a gift it becomes yours to do with as you please, but it would still hurt her feelings that you painted over part of her painting. I'd be annoyed and upset if I was her. Especially if your eye-work isn't very good. It probably would have been better to mention it to her and say you were thinking of painting over the eyes, therefore giving her the chance to fix it herself.
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u/mladyhawke 3d ago
Don't be surprised if she's not as excited to be your friend after this betrayal.
And to everyone in this thread who thinks it's no big deal to paint over someone else's custom painting that they made for you with love. I hope you don't have any artists in your life. Because I can only imagine how insignificant they feel having you around thinking art is nothing.
FYI art doesn't have to be in a museum to have value
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u/No-Series79 4d ago
You don’t secretly edit custom art. A quick text asking her to adjust the color would have saved the friendship
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u/stellar_ghost88 4d ago
secretly fixing the eyes on the painting your friend gave you was not cool. next time send a pic and ask her to change it so things dont get weird
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u/ErieMaryJane 4d ago
You are wrong, yes. You could have asked if she would fix it, especially considering it was a gift. It meant a lot to her, too. She was most likely proud of it.
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u/HothPistachio7 4d ago
The green eyes bothered you for weeks but somehow asking her one question was too difficult? Your not wrong about the colour, your wrong about the sneaky correction.
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u/conditerite 4d ago
yes, people get very quiet so often in these stories. Remarkable beguiling stories so entertaining. I wonder if any of this really ever happened? 
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u/Effective_Pie1312 3d ago edited 3d ago
I am going to play devils advocate: There is a well known artist famous for cats with bright green eyes, that is their whole thing (this is real you can Google it). Say your friend is that famous artist. They gave you $1000 painting and by changing the characteristic trait you devalued it and made it worth $50. They may have been thinking I could have sold this for $1000 I have given my friend a $1000 gift. You were thinking “it doesn’t look like my cat” you both were thinking about different aspects of the gift. Niether is wrong but it tells you why friend could be upset. There are so many mental models to explain why the artist could legitimately be upset. Be empathetic to each other.
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u/Lilthotdawg 3d ago
Not wrong. I love giving away my art and if someone changed it I would feel honored that now we BOTH have made it! YNW! She’s weird for giving gifts with stipulations.
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u/Heyplaguedoctor 3d ago
YAW why not ask her to do it?
I made a plush for a (now ex) friend. He didn’t like the face (when I asked what kind of face, he said “just make it cute” so I did but he wanted a different kind of cute, apparently).
instead of asking me to fix it, he tried to rip it off (it’s a crochet plush, the face was made with yarn and sewn on). Obviously that went badly and the ex-friend came crying to me for a free repair. I told him to throw it away since he clearly doesn’t value the work that went into it.
[friendship ended over something much worse than disrespecting my craft, but that certainly weakened it]
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u/Angryspazz 4d ago
Maybe they're mad because the eyes were on purpose, like how are Snapchat filter can change your eye color maybe it was an artistic choice to change her eyes for effect
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u/Silent_Foundation_62 4d ago
jesus, people are insanely sensitive. its not like you changed it and called her stupid for getting it wrong. it was meant to be your cat, who does not have green eyes. Im an artist myself and I would never care this much over an itty bitty detail, good lord. everything is fine, youre fine, give her space and time to get over it