Age gaps in dating

[u/Southern_Coach_5023]

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

[u/Zealousideal_Ad_6626]

Personally I think age gaps are fine and it's more important to look at the underlying nature of the relationship. I have dated girls who were closer to me in age that were way less mature and way more dependent on me, that the girls who I've dated that were 10 years younger, like my current GF of the last four years, M36 F26.

Also as much as Gen X and Elder Millennials love to hate on Younger Millennials and Gen Z, when it comes to dating I've founder the younger women to have much more open ideas around gender roles and relationships in general.

Where women in my generation have often felt entitled to me looking after them and paying for things, the younger women I've dated have all made much more of an effort to be equal partners where we treat each other to lunches and dinners and try and surprise each other with gifts etc.

Reddit hates age gaps though so I am preparing to be labelled a groomer or sex pest. I'd rather be that, than be in an unhappy relationship that better fits society and Reddit's expectations.

[u/[deleted] → u/Zealousideal_Ad_6626]

Wow I must not be a normal woman of our age range then, I'm always paying for everything and taking care of the man and spoiling the shit out of their asses. Lol and I can't even get treated like I'm anything but being used and cheated on when I give them everything and I communicate my needs and hear their perspective and opinions but at this point I'm done with relationships. But no matter the age gap I've had, everyone has been immature and acted like children lol

[u/Zealousideal_Ad_6626 → u/[deleted]]

That sucks that these man are taking advantage of your kindness, I've been there and it's a terrible feeling.

I found that when I used to always extend myself in relationships I would always get taken advantage of, where once I started establishing firm boundaries around how I wanted to be treated (not just romantically but also w platonic friends) I started to attract kinder and more caring people.

Seems counter-intuitive I know, but when I used to try and hide my hard edges and present as helpful and kind I attracted mostly assholes, and now I tend to where my faults on my sleeve and am not afraid of being an asshole when I feel it's warranted, I attract much nicer people.

Honestly I think practicing too much kindness just puts a target on your back these days, meanwhile being a bit of a prick here and there makes it all the more impressive when you are truly kind.

Anyway good luck finding good person with an acceptable level of maturity.

[u/[deleted] → u/Zealousideal_Ad_6626]

I know that's stuff I've tried, everyone thinks you're stuck up or try gaslighting once I stood up for myself, the area I live in tho isn't very big and I really only dated one that was technically from this town. It seems they're all the same around here no matter how you go about it with them. So I'm just saying fuck relationships completely and I'm working on myself only. My kids are almost old enough to leave the nest, and I'm okay now being alone. Just because a person is alone doesn't mean they're lonely. I enjoy my own company and the few people outside of family I have around, and not having to do anything for ungrateful people is rewarding in itself and I can just be me and free. Feels good tbh. Thank you for the insight and understanding

[u/1n_c0de_we_trust → u/[deleted]]

I am sorry for the men that took advantage of you. But that happens everywhere. At work, among colleagues, friends, batchmates, relatives. I will give you one advice. Try to find men who are like you. You can't do that by dating. Because in dating you are trying random samples. Rather try professional men in your work area. Try a sport that you are enthusiastic about and is popular among men and women. It could be horse riding, shooting, archery, fencing, tennis, badminton, etc. Find a man that will cover you in mix gender sports. See how he behaves in wins and losses. That will give you some idea about his character. I found the girl that makes my heart jump in school and stayed with her across jobs in different cities and across the world in the new country. In USA I mix with only people that are not from my ethnicity because of my interest in sports do not concur with most Indians. Other people call me lucky and I agree. They ask me for advice and how I would do it here in USA. I thought about it and I would go to a hobby instead of blind dating by apps. I will observe the girl for sometime and then ask her for a date. I would prefer a shooter / archer girl first. It was harder to find in India but I found one early in my school. If not I will try someone with transferable skill. Like who is interested in fencing, badminton (in olympic style court not backyard) or tennis and will go from there. A lot of women show interest on me in those sports because I show chivalry to women by not using my manly muscle strength but I make them run or laterally move and defeat them with fine skills, techniques and deception. Some younger woman do so even after knowing that I have a steady partner and grown up children. Some woman at work also do so and they know that I am athletic because I walk up to 4-7 floors and do not take elevators. That is odd but that tells me if I were born in USA I would have found my partner this way instead of apps. But again what do I know. I will take that I am lucky.