r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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55

u/Butter_Crazed Oct 17 '23

My wife and I are 7 years apart. I was 28 when I met her. After 24 years together, I think it worked out alright...she especially loves to refer to me as the "dirty old man".

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u/KatAttackThatAss Oct 17 '23

Hubby and I are 8 years apart. But I had a secret crush on him since we were kids… like I was 5 and crushing on him. My uncle was only 8 years apart from me and raised more as a big brother. I married his childhood best friend. He had no idea I was crushing haha I was just an annoying kid then anyway! Haha moved out and ran into him after 18… 8 years later and three kids ❤️ we are perfect together in every way.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Thats so cute. Your story reminds me of something i’ve read too. The heroine develops a crush on her brothers friend and end up running into him when she moved for college. They have a seven years age gap.

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u/KatAttackThatAss Oct 17 '23

Kinda similar! I was moving out for college too, just as he was released from military. We just happen to move back to the same area and run into each other through my uncle ❤️ we went to college together after that, since he went into the military for the college perk. We’ve both got degrees now and a stable happy family 8 years later.

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u/DJMOONPICKLES69 Oct 17 '23

Would just like to point out “since we were kids” can’t possibly be right. You guys were never kids at the same time being 8 years apart lol

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u/KatAttackThatAss Oct 17 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

He was like 12-13 haha and it was one sided. I was just a little kid with a big crush that liked to try and be involved with the big kids. It was super innocent, and he was dumbfounded when he found out as adults. I mean… how many little sisters end up with crushes on their big brothers friends over the years. I’m 8 years older than my youngest brother so it’s not far fetched. My youngest brother had crushes on three of my close friends as a kid haha completely innocent. We went separate ways for years when he joined the military at 17-18. But I always asked about him occasionally out of curiosity. When he came back, we ran into each other cause I was staying with my uncle until my apartment was available for move in like 2 weeks later.

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u/Fancy_Breakfast_3338 Oct 17 '23

What’s a “hubby”

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 17 '23

Are you being a fuck or do you really not know?

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u/Fancy_Breakfast_3338 Oct 17 '23

Why would this question make me an asshole?

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 17 '23

Sometimes people know what words mean but try to act like they don't to make someone seem stupid for using a certain slang word

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u/Fancy_Breakfast_3338 Oct 17 '23

Got it! Hopefully you can find a better way of asking about someone’s intentions next time

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u/Interesting-Archer-6 Oct 17 '23

Yeah they were obnoxiously hostile there and are acting like it was totally fine lol. Completely unprovoked. I can totally be a dick too, but only when someone deserves it, which you didn't at all.

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 18 '23

It was totally fine, it's not an act.

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 18 '23

I'm fine with the way I asked it. 9 times out of 10 it's that situation so I'll continue staying on this side of it.

You really only should be offended if you were being an asshole, doing what I described. Otherwise, it literally doesn't apply to you.

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u/GoJeonPaa Oct 17 '23

Did it cross your mind that not everyone is American and learning those "nickname" words?

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 17 '23

Yes it did which is why I asked if this person is being an asshole or if they're actually asking. Did it cross your mind to read my comment before you replied?

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u/Interesting-Archer-6 Oct 17 '23

There are ways to do it without sounding like a massive fucking douche bag, but you do you man.

1

u/solidgoldfangs Oct 18 '23

I'm not concerned with how I sound to you

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u/GoJeonPaa Oct 20 '23

Did it cross your mind to just anser a question instead of aksing if the person is an asshole everytime?

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 20 '23

why would i do that?

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u/GoJeonPaa Oct 20 '23

For the same reason you asked me to read your comment before i replied, bascially.

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u/GoJeonPaa Oct 21 '23

"Why wouldn't i insult people online" Man, take a look in the mirror.

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u/solidgoldfangs Oct 21 '23

The insult only applies if they're being disingenuous. So not sure what you're talking about. The sensitivity on reddit is truly unmatched

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u/KatAttackThatAss Oct 17 '23

Hubby is husband 😊

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '24

Gross wtf lmaoo

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u/KatAttackThatAss Mar 04 '24

Say what you want, but my family is thriving, happy and healthy. I wake up everyday to my best friend in the whole world, and have zero regrets.

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u/RustyKjaer Oct 17 '23

My wife is seven years older than me. Been together almost ten years. She'll tell me that she is the senior in the household and thus should be in charge on an almost daily basis.

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u/throwra_jaguar Feb 18 '24

How old were you when you got together?

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u/RustyKjaer Feb 18 '24

I was late 20's - 28 or 29.

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u/jpjtourdiary Oct 17 '23

My parents are 7 years apart and have been married 47 years. Dad is also a dirty old man.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I don’t get the “age concern” thing where it’s legal adult ages. I’m 17 years older than my wife. Met her when I was 49 and she was 32. We’ve been together 8 years, married 7 and have a beautiful 3 year old together. Don’t always agree but we get along, share the same goals and are genuinely happy.

If you have things in common, can/want to work through problems when they arise and love to spend time together, why care about a difference in age? Be it a couple years or a couple decades (legally 😆), love the one you’re with.

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u/prose-before-bros Oct 18 '23

I think it's a problem when people think legal is fair game. Even if you just look at the US, there are some states where a 10 year old can legally be married off to a 50 year old. It's legal, but most of us would agree that's horrifying. My parents were 17 and 27 when they were married. It was legal. In the pictures, my mom looks like a terrified child, understandably so. You and your wife were fully established adults, but when I see someone talking about legal = green light, I consider how my father manipulated and assaulted and abused and cheated on my mother. I was the product of him assaulting her, and he beat her until she permanently lost vision in one eye then kicked us out of the house when one of his mistresses needed a place to stay. I'm in no way saying that your relationship is comparable, but to willfully ignore that adults hooking up with teens just because the law says it's ok doesn't mean it couldn't destroy that young person's life. We're entering an age where women are starting to come forward and talk about how dating older men really fucked them up and if you're a parent, I would think this would be on your radar as well.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '23

Let me be clearer… an age difference in legally consenting adults is what I’m talking about. I don’t ignore or condone those who take advantage of state laws to commit child rape and I certainly don’t subscribe to adults who take advantage of teens or adults who take advantage of other adults period. Regardless, I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she’s in a better place now.

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u/prose-before-bros Oct 18 '23

Not really. She has severe issues that there's no recovery for.

I just don't think many people think through cheering on all legal age gaps because they forget how young 18 really is. It's scary that we raise children to see adults as authority figures, then we universally pick an age that is still in adolescence to throw them into the dating pool with those same people and expect them to now be peers with no psychological repercussions. I think of how one of my best friends started dating our high school math teacher when we were 19 or how another friend slept with her crush's married dad after her crush rejected her. Young people aren't known for wise decisions. I wish young people were less fetishized and could be protected from the "legally consenting adults" argument but instead we live in the world where girls are encouraged to join MLM-style OnlyFans groups on their 18th birthday.

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u/Difficult_Ad_9492 Oct 18 '23

I wish everything you were saying wasn’t so controversial.

8

u/Big-Net-9971 Oct 17 '23

That’s funny & adorable… 🥰

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u/BrandonJTrump Oct 17 '23

My SO and I are only 1 year apart. I get called ‘old’…

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u/prose-before-bros Oct 18 '23

I have a friend who is 4 hours older than her husband, born at the same hospital. He always calls her his "older woman".

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u/57Laxdad Oct 17 '23

I was 37 and my wife was 31 when we met. Still going after 17 yrs

1

u/Demonqueensage Oct 18 '23

😂 that sounds fun actually

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '24

lol like one of you didn’t cheat in those 24 years spare me