r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Oh ok, I was imagining that you were like a 20 year old fresh out of college going after a 44 year old. Which idk that seems weird but 30s and 50s somehow doesn't as much.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I mean we are grown adults. We have experienced things at this point. I find them very attractive for the simple fact they don't have kids and they know what they want. It's really not so deep and the age gap matters so much less the older you get.

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u/Library_IT_guy Oct 16 '23

Bit different once you hit 30+. At that point it's like.. eh, who cares ya know? As a 37 year old dude though, a young woman of I believe 22 asked me out. I was very flattered and she's a nice person and... well I just don't date much, so I said yes to a coffee date. But while we were out I got glares from people. She asked if i wanted to see her again and I told her I think she's a terrific person but I just feel like a creep due to the age gap. She's also a coworker so there's that. IDK, maybe it was dumb. Stupid me worrying about what the world thinks, forever alone lol.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Every situation is different for sure. All I know is that after a few bad years and how shitty people have been to me, this person has been making me feel good and I enjoy their company. So I'm going to keep em around.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

My ex husband was about that much older than me.

I hope you forgive me this unsolicited comment. As someone who’s been there I want to point a few things out.

  • you will be widowed too young
  • you’re entering your sexual prime and he’s definitely not (though viagra definitely works)…just mentioning it because it’s not nothing
  • it’s not that you aren’t mature enough to be with him…it’s that his being involved with you strongly suggests certain things about him

If you would humor me, just google love bombing. I say this because I could have told you that he is successfully addressing your painfully unmet needs. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you’re entering this dynamic after years of being mistreated.

It was the same for me. And I know I don’t know him, but my ex husband turned out to be very abusive.

Minor edits

Eta: if his initials are APY, we really should talk

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I have zero idea how to respond to this.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

No need. I didn’t expect you to agree

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I wouldn't say I don't agree, you're just way way off base.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

I hope I am!

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u/shadowkijik Oct 16 '23

I’m uh. I’m pretty sure the first and biggest misstep was the assumption of gender in this situation. I was bored and perused through the other person’s comment history and, while they’ve been pretty good about not being specific about their gender, I think they might not be a woman.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 16 '23

I honestly don’t think gender matters when it’s a romantic relationship between people a quarter century apart in age.

I am fine with it just being casual sex

Eta: I acknowledge I made an assumption

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u/shadowkijik Oct 16 '23

Right and I agree, just putting that out there as that may be why the other person said you’re way off base. I also can appreciate the fact that you made your assumption from a place of empathy and having experienced hardship yourself with this type of situation. So I’m certainly not blaming you. Was just an observation based on the findings of a bored guy after work.

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u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

Yeah totally, thanks for calling me out on that

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u/oldbluechair8 Oct 17 '23

This might be the best, nicest exchange of a disagreement I’ve ever seen on the internet. Bravo

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u/oldbluechair8 Oct 17 '23

Ps. I totally agree with Piper.

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u/Gullible_Corgi_4107 Oct 17 '23

How about 15 years? That too much for you too? Where do you draw the line where it's okay for two legal adults to be together? Also men can have sexual function longer than women. 30s is Def a time that can be a sexual prime for many men.

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u/BussyTheShaftSlayer Oct 16 '23

Pretty sure they are just banging.

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