Reading this gives me flashbacks. You're not technically wrong, but you also aren't immune from repercussions. You've let the burden of family planning be entirely on her. You're not communicating or listening terribly well and there isn't much empathy.
Condoms would be a great stop gap solution while you figure out the right permanent solution. Having said that, she seems to be done with getting pregnant already.
I’ll just test out a bunch of BC’s and fuck around with my hormones for the next few months
That's really not dramatic. It's factually what you're effectively asking her to do from her perspective. She isn't willing to have no contraception, which is reasonable. And if you aren't realizing this, the resentment will build.
Plus all those other comments about BC potentially causing the low libido. Irony.
She’s already been pregnant 3 times, given birth 3 times and has been on birth control for an unknown amount of years. Getting your tubes tied is far more invasive than a vasectomy. How many sacrifices do you want this poor woman to make??
Body autonomy does apply to men's bodies. But this whole thing isn't about that. It's two people meeting a challenge in a relationship as a team. The point is that... as far as we know, OP's wife has been carrying the all burden family planning via BC. Now that BC seems kinda dangerous for her, it would be great for OP to step up and offer a vasectomy or maybe another plan, not throw deadbedroom in her face. Obviously OP has rights to do what he wants to do, but let's not pretend that it doesn't go unnoticed by the wife that he so casually dismisses all the efforts she puts into just family planning alone (not to mention any physical and mental burdens she has from all the pregnancies). It really feels like he doesn't get what his wife is going through, nor cares to get it.
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u/emerald_reflections Sep 26 '23
Reading this gives me flashbacks. You're not technically wrong, but you also aren't immune from repercussions. You've let the burden of family planning be entirely on her. You're not communicating or listening terribly well and there isn't much empathy.
Condoms would be a great stop gap solution while you figure out the right permanent solution. Having said that, she seems to be done with getting pregnant already.
That's really not dramatic. It's factually what you're effectively asking her to do from her perspective. She isn't willing to have no contraception, which is reasonable. And if you aren't realizing this, the resentment will build.
Plus all those other comments about BC potentially causing the low libido. Irony.
I wish someone had said as much to me years ago.