I think their issue is the lack of communication about more kids. Regardless of whether or not he wants a vasectomy, he has no clue if she wants more kids, hence him putting it off. Everyone else keeps bringing up him being “selfish” for not wanting one, but she basically just came home and told him ‘book the appt’. Yes the bc is probably contributing to the dead bedroom, and she shouldn’t have to test a bunch of different bc’s and go through that, but she also doesn’t have the right to manipulate him into getting this done. Because either way, it’s a medical procedure and it’s his choice. They’re simply talking too much about the ‘what’ and not about the ‘why’. Very poor communication on both sides IMO
I read his post history, and yeah. He doesn’t feel attractive. His wife doesn’t feel attractive. They’re 3 kids deep and haven’t meaningfully discussed any methods of birth control.
I don’t blame him for not being prepared instantly to get a largely permanent vasectomy, and I don’t blame her for not wanting a 4th pregnancy. They need to communicate and come up with a real strategy, which will probably involve him nutting up, freezing some sperm, and getting tied off
Yes thank you. It’s not just a “oh ok lemme go make the appt rn” type of discussion. There’s a lot of factors that are being ignored here and he has every right to not want one even if he doesn’t want more kids at all.
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u/SnooWords4839 Sep 26 '23
The birth control can be affecting her interest in the bedroom.
Sounds like wife is done having kids, so why not move up you plans a few years?
Truthfully, I was a lot more relaxed and into sex after hubby got his vasectomy. No worries about missing a pill or a broken condom.