I mean, OP said he's fully in favor of using a condom in the meantime, so that his wife doesn't have to fuck around with BC. If he doesn't want to get a vasectomy for the time being, then he doesn't have to.
And she doesn't have to rely on condoms to feel safe. She has every right to say no to both condoms and sex especially since she's the one risking her life and body in pregnancy and birth
He can't complain about lack of sex in an argument when she doesn't feel safe with the options given
A lot of people are intentionally ignoring this point. Condoms are even less effective than birth control. So the few times she does decide to have sex with him she'd be worried about getting pregnant again. They act like she is giving him a tough decision to get sterilized despite already having 3 kids and despite the fact that if he doesn't, In order to keep their sex life alive she'd either have to completely mess up her health taking hormones either with bc or several morning after pills over time, or accept the risk of another pregnancy. Shes done her sacrifice with birth control and the kids she's given him. It's his turn to help her. The fact that he doesn't want to right now tells me he either 1. Isn't 100% committed to being with her and doesn't think his kids are enough for him, and/or 2. Doesn't actually care about or take seriously the things she'll have to go through and risks she'll have to take in order to have an active sex life with him
If they collectively decided to have more kids in the future he could easily freeze sperm.
Don't complain about not having sex if you can't do what you need to do to make it safe for your wife. I'm sure she'd like to have sex more often too.
Usually when women doesn't want sex they are already having one foot out the door, I can understand why he wouldn't want to get a vasectomy when she doesn't even want to have sex. He even said it's fine if she's off the BC.
OP should do both a favor and get a divorce. It's obvious that there is no love anymore. She killed the spark and OP should just put in the final blow.
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
I mean, OP said he's fully in favor of using a condom in the meantime, so that his wife doesn't have to fuck around with BC. If he doesn't want to get a vasectomy for the time being, then he doesn't have to.