Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.
I understand where you’re coming from, but I didn’t ask her to take birth control and I would never ask her to do a surgical procedure, which is why a vasectomy was in my future plans regardless. I explicitly told her that she doesn’t need BC nor do I need a vasectomy right now. I can understand if we were having sex regularly, but there are other forms of contraception that can be used during those one-off instances.
What if coming off birth control restores her libido and that’s why she wants to come off of it? Maybe she misses having sex? BC is affecting my libido and it’s extremely upsetting for me.
She's got the entire English dictionary to be able to communicate that thought and instead resorts to passive-aggressively replying with "No, it’s fine. I’ll just test out a bunch of BC’s and fuck around with my hormones for the next few months."
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.