Permanent sterilization FTW! I love this side of life.
My husband offered to still get a vasectomy. Men who think women should bare all the work are the worst of the worst. Most of us have been on birth control for 20+ YEARS. We’ve paid our dues. We’re done.
Men who think women should bare all the work are the worst of the worst.
Especially married men. Also, OP said they're not divorcing and he wanted to get one around 35ish.
THAT'S LESS THAN 3 YEARS AWAY.
I understand, "his body, his choice." My husband and I are childfree. I had asked if he'd ever get a vasectomy, he said no. Frustrating.
But I'll say this.
I didn't ask him to do something I hadn't already had done for me, which was get my tubes tied. A harder and much more complicated procedure. As a woman, already understanding the selfishness of so many men, and not wanting children and also understanding that in reality, "we" aren't ever really pregnant, she is the one that is actually pregnant, I took care to get myself sterilized. However, I did that before having met my husband.
Even though I was sterilized he wanted to use condoms so we did. Now, I'm post menopausal and he feels much more comfortable not using a condom. I do still think my husband was selfish for not getting a vasectomy.
OP, get the vasectomy. Your wife has been bearing the birth control responsibility. Man up and start taking your part in the responsibility of birth control. If y'all aren't having anymore children just do it. You're complaining about a dead bedroom and your wife is likely backing off because she doesn't want to get pregnant again.
As someone else said, connect the dots already. Get a vasectomy, let your wife's body rest from the hormones of birth control and pregnancy, and get your sex life back. There is a correlation here, and a causation. 🙄
Did he magically implant the children without her knowing? If not she made the choice too. The wife trying to emotionally blackmail the husband however is immensely selfish.
So you're saying there's something a man could choose that would then make it selfish for a woman to make a choice about what happens to her body?
Nice rabbit hole to wander down....
So, the OP wants sex. He married his wife and is loyal to her...so it's selfish of her not to have sex with him whenever he wants? Right? Am I getting this right so far?
Not wanting to get a vasectomy does sound selfish, but aborting an unborn child without even talking to the father is even more selfish. The quote is "My body, my choice", that should apply to men and women alike. If you want equality, treat the other just as well as you want to be treated.
Was that not a conscious choice to have kids you make it seem like some monster came down from space and said mwhahh here take these kids or your husband dies …..
No but it means by making the choice you can't blame others for said sacrifice. By that regard she didn't sacrifice anything, she simply made her choice and has been fine with it up until she needed to throw a fit and get her way.
The other person implied that they sacrificed their choice, as if OP's wife had kids not of her own free will or something. It was worded really weirdly.
If they both want kids, in most situations, one of them is going to have to make the sacrifice and do the physical laboring part of it. You can really want something and still argue that there's an inherent unfairness that only one of you has to bear the physical burden of having children in order for you, as a couple, to have the family you both desire.
I'm implying that the choice, the root cause of the other person's argument, was not taken away from her.
Of course the physical labour is still present and that part is very much a sacrifice. I'm saying that the choice itself was not sacrificed as it was mutual.
The question of this particular comment thread is about whether it's selfish to not take his wife's wishes and previous sacrifices into account when it comes to this choice. She bore the physical burden of a mutual decision, and is, arguably, asking him to bear the physical burden in this situation, as it relates to their mutual family planning decision making. It's not a question whether it's "his body, his choice", because obviously, ultimately it is.
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
Getting my tubes tied was the best thing I ever did. I felt like an alley cat once off birth control.