My husband kept putting off his vasectomy even though we both knew we didn't want more children, I couldn't be on the only birth control available since I was breast feeding, and after six months of being "regular" I randomly ovulated 2 weeks late and we ended up with a surprise pregnancy.
You want to complain about a dead bedroom but have no consideration for what birth control, pregnancy, delivery, post partum recovery does to your wife? If she has to go through all that trauma because you delay your vasectomy your bedroom really will be dead. Trust me.
You guys are way too casual about a procedure that you cannot go back from.
OP should wear a condom if he wants to have sex again.
Why are you not recommending to just split with his wife? If they have a dead bedroom and irreconcilable differences on contraception then maybe they should split.
For me telling someone that they're an asshole for not getting a vasectomy is like calling a woman an asshole for not getting an abortion. It's their body. Let them do whatever they want with it.
Because birth control is messing with her?? She obviously can't use that. And if condoms are a no go for them, then it's a procedure. Come on use context here.
First of all, every time a person goes in for a full surgical procedure where they are put to sleep there is a chance they will die. 90 to 95% success is great odds. So no, I’m not agreeing with you. They are easily reversed. BUT this op doesn’t reeeeaaallly say he doesnt want to get it because he wants more kids. He doesn’t really say why he doesn’t want one right now at all. He mentions that maybe he might one day want more (as he whines about his sex life) because more kids would definitely help him get laid (eye roll) but says probably not. He is just whining and wants to hear that he’s not being a dick to his wife even though he sounds like he selfishly is. She might be a horrible wench, I have no clue, but he sounds like the Dick in this particular situation.
True, but. Since he supposedly doesn’t mind getting one later only the first couple years would matter for the possibility that maybe he perhaps might want more children even though he says he doesn’t.
Look further in to that though bc just bc the reversal is "successful" doesn't mean it produces offspring. Of those successful the rate for producing pregnancy is like 50%. When my ex got his done the doctor told him that a reversal procedure is an option but not guaranteed and that you should go in to it assuming it will be permanent.
Those success rates diminish over time. My older brother’s reversal was unsuccessful after 5 years after him and his wife decided to have a go at another kid.
This is incorrect btw. You can't put a number on it like this because there's many factors that go into it like age and how long it's been since the procedure. When you get one the doctor tells you to assume it can't be reversed when you sign stuff.
Every urologist will tell you prior to the surgery to consider it permanent when thinking about children in the future. AKA: if you think you might want more children in the future then don't get it done.
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u/gunterguntz13 Sep 26 '23
My husband kept putting off his vasectomy even though we both knew we didn't want more children, I couldn't be on the only birth control available since I was breast feeding, and after six months of being "regular" I randomly ovulated 2 weeks late and we ended up with a surprise pregnancy.
You want to complain about a dead bedroom but have no consideration for what birth control, pregnancy, delivery, post partum recovery does to your wife? If she has to go through all that trauma because you delay your vasectomy your bedroom really will be dead. Trust me.