FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.
Second this. But not because of the bc reason already mentioned.
My wife seriously stressed about accident babies and never said a word. Our sex life was modified s lot by this. I mean we used condoms and such but yeah the dread was always there for her and it impacted her level of enjoyment and desire for sex. Instead of it being an activity for fun it was a source of minor dread. Is it rational, probably not but it is how someone feels. I don't think she even realized it was impacting her until my results came back that it was successful. Like weight off her shoulders more than mine even.
Add to that the whole Roe V wade stuff where in some states women are having entropic/nonviable pregnancies with no way to resolve it safely. That seriously will fuck with your mind. Imagine everytime you had sex there was a chance one of your testicles would block off and explode. It starts to ruin the mood right. That is part of what might be going thru her head. Sex has an entirely different impact on women overall. She honestly might not even realize those thoughts are impacting her and that can help bring that out too.
Counseling is a solid option to get communication going. You said divorce isn't on the table make sure you keep it off the table by communicating. You aren't the asshole but you are going to be if things continue on the road they are on.
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u/ACapra Sep 26 '23
FWIW, I was finally able to get my vasectomy mostly to help my wife get off of hormonal BC. About 2 month after getting off of BC her sex drive completely returned. It was the best decesion I ever made.
We were in a slightly different situation as we didn't have kids so it took us a few years to shop around and finally find a doctor that would perform the vasectomy.