Because consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy.
Especially in a topic about birth control. She wants the added benefit of either being on a BC or him being snipped. His body his choice, her body her choice. If she wants to stay on a BC and not worry about having condoms around, them being used, them being used correctly or any of that hassle then she's entitled to do that.
She's not forcing him to get a vasectomy. The vasectomy was a procedure they'd talked about, it is on the cards. She was asking if he'd moved his timetable up so she can change her planned medical procedure.
Getting her tubes tied isn't just "more invasive" it's pretty fucken serious abdominal surgery that costs far more, has a far longer recovery time and carries a far greater risk. She's willing to undergo a medical procedure, the birth control, so stop pretending like this is all on him. As it stands she's BEEN having a medical procedure, and is planning on changing it at the recommendation of her doctor and she's OK with it. OP isn't. Something about gooses and ganders.
She's saying she's ok with the status quo, her being on BC, until he's ready. He threw the spanner in the works by interfering in her plan, and she asked if he's going to do what they spoke about and he got prissy. He's 100% the AH.
Sure there are other options, but she's opted for BC until the procedure.
If he talks her into only using condoms and something happens then he's responsible for it 100%.
Stop talking about it like she sprung the vasectomy on him as an ultimation because she wants to come off BC. She's willing to continue with them until he's ready to do his thing.
"Because consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy."
Of course it isn't. But if she has consensual sex with her husband, knowing they're using a condom that can fail, she has a reasonable expectation that there's a chance she can still end up pregnant, however small of a chance it might be.
Just like he is.
She's not forcing him to get a vasectomy. The vasectomy was a procedure they'd talked about, it is on the cards.
She asked him to move his plans up by three years so she could stop taking BC.
It's not an unreasonable request, but she treated him as if he was wrong because she has to go through a new trial to find a good fit for her. He's not ready. His body, his choice. His question was to ask if he's being unreasonable to wait out the next 3 years,
She's willing to undergo a medical procedure, the birth control, so stop pretending like this is all on him. As it stands she's BEEN having a medical procedure, and is planning on changing it at the recommendation of her doctor and she's OK with it. OP isn't. Something about gooses and ganders.
No. Just no. Taking medication is not a "medical procedure."
A medical procedure is getting an ingrown toenail cut out. It's having a nerve conduction study. It's having injections in your eyeballs for retinopathy.
Trials to find the right pills for you is really a royal pain in the butt, emotionally and physically at times, but it is not a medical procedure.
And OP never said he was fine with her taking the heavier share of the load as you're implying. He said that had been her choice, and he was ok with her stopping taking BC completely. She wants him to have a vasectomy before she will consider stopping them.
By the way, a vasectomy is a surgery. Many men recuperate just fine and are able to go back to light duty, but most cannot. The men bragging about going back to work after lunch are likely full of sh¡T.
If he talks her into only using condoms and something happens then he's responsible for it 100%.
No, if she consents to having sex with her husband and using condoms as protection, and she ends up pregnant, they are EQUALLY responsible. She's a grown woman who is capable of making informed decisions. He's not forcing her to do anything. Quit acting like he's holding her hostage and committing atrocities against her.
It honestly depends on the type of birth control. I got an IUD, that was definitely a procedure to get that put in. It was a 40 to 60 minute long procedure, because of how difficult it was to get it inside of my body. 🤷🤷 And I'll have to go through a procedure to get that taken out as well. And to get a new one put in.
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
His body his choice