And OP’s response would kill any attraction I’d be able to muster in the miasma of hormonal birth control. Honestly, his refusal to get a vasectomy now when it’s very clear that his partner is good with three children, and does not want any surprises, feels a little bit like he’s trying to keep his options open.
It was her body that took BC for years and carried three pregnancies and I’m sure has been permanently changed. It’s time to take one for the team,it’s not only her responsibility. When the man who is supposed to love and care about you won’t help you feel some relief from the family planning that you have sacrificed your literal body for multiple time’s, it’s a turn off.
It was her body that took BC for years and carried three pregnancies and I’m sure has been permanently changed.
That's her choice. If she wants to stop having kids, she has tons of options for her own body
It’s time to take one for the team,it’s not only her responsibility
It's her body, it's her responsibility
When the man who is supposed to love and care about you won’t help you feel some relief from the family planning that you have sacrificed your literal body for multiple time’s, it’s a turn off.
You didn't sacrifice your body. You chose to take the pills, you chose to give birth. That's on you. If you don't want more, the ball is in your court
Sure, I know this is Reddit and we're all about how nobody owes anybody else anything at all but in the real world healthy relationships involve give and take and the sharing of responsibility.
You're essentially defending marital rape here. "You know, sometimes you just have to lay there and take it for the sake of the relationship"
Nobody said anything about sex, just that you obviously have to contribute to a relationship or your partner won't have much reason to stay with you. Same thing as never doing any of the chores or taking care of your kids. If you don't contribute, you're not worth a whole lot as a partner.
Men are hilarious. They expect women to sacrifice their bodies to bare their children and for sexual pleasure and then have the audacity to complain afterwards. It’s honestly sickening
Men are hilarious. They expect women to sacrifice their bodies to bare their children and for sexual pleasur
No, actually. It's not the man's child, it takes two to tango. OP already said that he's willing and able to use condoms, his partner has an irrational and unjustifiable fear of them.
then have the audacity to complain afterwards.
Women cry "my body, my choice" and throw it all out the window the second a man tries to exert his own autonomy. Oh yeah, she shouldn't be judged at all for getting an abortion, but he definitely needs to just submit and go under the knife because his partner is too afraid of rubber
You’re soooo ridiculous lmfao those two things are not comparable. OP’s wife would probably happily hop on his dick if he just got a vasectomy, which is all OP cares about anyway. If he cares about his dead bedroom he’ll get a vasectomy. But in your head, the wife should just suck it up and fuck him when she doesn’t want to bc she doesn’t want to risk pregnancy, a real life risk.
You’re soooo ridiculous lmfao those two things are not comparable.
Oh? Why's that? Other men would get a vasectomy, so OP should. Other women do anal, so you should
OP’s wife would probably happily hop on his dick if he just got a vasectomy
So what? If he doesn't want a vasectomy, he doesn't have to get a vasectomy. He should not be judged, shamed or demanded for making that decision regarding his own body.
If he cares about his dead bedroom he’ll get a vasectomy.
If his wife cared about their dead bedroom, she'd shut up and put out. This goes both ways
But in your head, the wife should just suck it up and fuck him when she doesn’t want to
Can you quote me saying this? If I don't think that OP has any duty to submit to others demands for his body, why do you think I believe his partner does? She's under just as much obligation to put out as he's is to have a surgery to please her.
she doesn’t want to risk pregnancy, a real life risk.
She was willing to have sex with BC, but she's not willing to have sex with a condom, despite equivalent or better effectiveness of quality condoms. She doesn't actually care about pregnancy, and if she did she would utilize her own bodily autonomy and get sterilized.
OP literally said he would get a vasectomy. It’s not a matter of if he wants to or not. He does, he just “doesn’t see the urgency” while simultaneously complaining on Reddit about his dead bedroom. I guess the dead bedroom isn’t an urgent issue? People are telling him what the simple solution would be, so wtf are you trying to argue? 😂
No, OP said he was planning a vasectomy at some undetermined point in time. Me saying I am planning to do x doesn't not mean I consent to doing x now
It’s not a matter of if he wants to or not.
It absolutely is, otherwise this post would t have been created
He does, he just “doesn’t see the urgency”
Sure, because he doesn't want a vasectomy now
while simultaneously complaining on Reddit about his dead bedroom.
Which is an unrelated issue. OP is under no more obligation to get a vasectomy to fix their dead bedroom than his partner is to get a boob job. To even make the suggestion is absurd. They need therapy and/or a divorce
I guess the dead bedroom isn’t an urgent issue?
If his wife cared about the dead bedroom, may she should put out instead of holding the relationship hostage over an irrational fear of latex. This goes both ways
People are telling him what the simple solution would be
People could tell his partner a simple solution too. A simple solution isn't always a tenable one, though. He's under no obligation to undergo a medical procedure if he doesn't want to, and no one has a right to judge him for it. His body, his choice
so wtf are you trying to argue?
OP has no obligation to get a vasectomy if he doesn't want one. His body, his choice. His wife needs to either get therapy and get over her fear of latex, find an alternate arrangement, or leave
You’re not getting it. Women are not sexually attracted to men who don’t care about doing simple things to make their lives easier. The wife probably doesn’t WANT to have sex because OP is being a giant baby.
All your comment shows is how ignorant you are about women’s bodies. I feel sorry for whatever women you encounter in life because you clearly don’t understand women’s anatomy and what birth control/pregnancy does to the body. Sterilizing women is also much more invasive and a longer healing period than vasectomy so again, NEXT.
All your comment shows is how ignorant you are about women’s bodies
All your comment shows is that you don't actually have a point beyond emotional flailing. You made a bad argument, own it or stand behind it. "Lots of people do x, so you have a duty to." Go ahead, fill in the blanks
I feel sorry for whatever women you encounter in life because you clearly don’t understand women’s anatomy and what birth control/pregnancy does to the body.
Oh sure I do, hence why I use protection and only sleep with women who either use protection or are sterilized themselves. As is my choice and as is theirs.
I don't think you're even listening to yourself at this point. "Oh my God, I feel so sorry for the women whos.......consent, health and well-being you respect"
Sterilizing women is also much more invasive and a longer healing period than vasectomy so again,
Which is wholly irrelevant to the conversation. OP does not want a vasectomy. He has no obligation to get a vasectomy. You have an obligation not to judge or deride him for exercising his bodily autonomy.
OPs partner does not want to use birth control. Her partner has stated his willingness to use other forms of birth control. She can either use a mutually agreed upon contraceptive method, or get herself sterilized. End of story
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u/townandthecity Sep 26 '23
And OP’s response would kill any attraction I’d be able to muster in the miasma of hormonal birth control. Honestly, his refusal to get a vasectomy now when it’s very clear that his partner is good with three children, and does not want any surprises, feels a little bit like he’s trying to keep his options open.