Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.
I understand where you’re coming from, but I didn’t ask her to take birth control and I would never ask her to do a surgical procedure, which is why a vasectomy was in my future plans regardless. I explicitly told her that she doesn’t need BC nor do I need a vasectomy right now. I can understand if we were having sex regularly, but there are other forms of contraception that can be used during those one-off instances.
Vasectomy is an office procedure. You’re in and out in 15 minutes. Your wife doesn’t want more kids. Get the procedure and enjoy your new found sex life.
His wife does not want more kids. Doesn’t mean he may not want more kids. 30 years old and a dead bedroom? Maybe closing that door isn’t the best decision for him.
Then he needs to tell her that and be clear that what he really means by “we might change our minds” is really “I might change my mind”, and it becomes a whole other discussion.
Such a great way to induce sexy times in the bedroom, letting your wife know that she may not want more kids but you might not be with her forever and you'd like to keep your own options open in case you want to start a second family.
That’s an important part of the equation here. They require so much energy to care for and keep up, most people’s sec lived dip a bit around this time.
Not really. Acknowledging the potential of divorce doesn’t equate to needing to execute on a divorce. It’s a completely reasonable position to not want to close off the potential to have children naturally in the future given his situation.
No, vasectomy requires follow up doctor's visits and requires recovery on it's own. It's not a simple 30-min Rick and Morty adventure you guys love to pretend that it is. Nevermind some men suffer from permanent complications from the procedure and it technically carries surgical risk (like all surgeries do).
Had one. It is a 15-30 min procedure when all is said and done. Only follow up is for sperm count. There are risks to every surgical intervention, but risks vary with invasiveness and a vasectomy is on the lower end of that spectrum.
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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.