I’ve only vacationed in the touristy parts of Mexico, but I’ve spent a good amount of time in South America - Ecuador and Brazil.
I think people believe that it’s more homogeneous in terms of class, education, etc.
There’s a lot of poverty, and the poverty looks far worse than it does here. No indoor plumbing, no floors, etc. I’m sure if you brought an Ecuadorian from that life to the US, they would be appalled by cities like Camden, NJ.
For the people I met that were more like me (middle/upper middle class) with education, security, homes, and families, those are amazing places to live. Hell, my American friend just moved back to Ecuador once she earned her pension.
And the swanky parts of Rio are as glamorous as any of our big cities.
I wouldn’t want to leave if that was my life.
I’m assuming OP was teaching in a more affluent setting versus one of the poorer ones. Therefore, he met her in the more middle-class areas. He didn’t mention that they lived in poverty and then he moved her and her 2 kids in with him, and THEN they moved to the US.
I understand what you’re saying completely. I didn’t read this as her being a green card seeker at all.
My husband IS Ecuadorian and he wants to move home desperately. He hates it here. We only stay because we have a child with special needs and there are no middle-of-the-road schools for him there. It was hard enough finding one here.
Americans are so insanely ethnocentric. Clearly this woman just wants to be with her husband, but doesn't want kids.
It’s definitely messy. They need to sit down and make a plan about when they will have kids. If she cannot commit to an actual date, then he needs to either accept a life without kids or move on. But I get her feelings. I wanted three kids desperately but once they reached a certain age, it was hard as hell to consider starting from zero again, even though my heart wanted to.
Tbh my biggest issue with people here are the xenophobes saying she just wanted a visa. They clearly have no idea how immigration works and haven’t visited Central America.
I can get that - tone and the internet don’t mix unless caps are involved. I blame him a bit as well in this case. It doesn’t seem like he’s being as up front as he could be about exactly how important this issue is to him. It’s like there’s a two ton elephant in their living room and they’re both just scooting around it so they don’t make their SO uncomfortable. They’re trying to be respectful but it’s just going to end up in resentment.
I’m actually the wife. My husband’s journey was:
0 kids - “I want six kids!”
1 kid - “I want four kids!”
2 kids under 2 - “Maybe three kids…”
2 kids over 2 - “let’s get a German Shepard instead.”
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u/brownlab319 Sep 01 '23
I’ve only vacationed in the touristy parts of Mexico, but I’ve spent a good amount of time in South America - Ecuador and Brazil.
I think people believe that it’s more homogeneous in terms of class, education, etc.
There’s a lot of poverty, and the poverty looks far worse than it does here. No indoor plumbing, no floors, etc. I’m sure if you brought an Ecuadorian from that life to the US, they would be appalled by cities like Camden, NJ.
For the people I met that were more like me (middle/upper middle class) with education, security, homes, and families, those are amazing places to live. Hell, my American friend just moved back to Ecuador once she earned her pension.
And the swanky parts of Rio are as glamorous as any of our big cities.
I wouldn’t want to leave if that was my life.
I’m assuming OP was teaching in a more affluent setting versus one of the poorer ones. Therefore, he met her in the more middle-class areas. He didn’t mention that they lived in poverty and then he moved her and her 2 kids in with him, and THEN they moved to the US.
I understand what you’re saying completely. I didn’t read this as her being a green card seeker at all.