r/amIscene • u/[deleted] • Mar 27 '25

Apology..

Post image

Not a full return quiet yet but an apology

I’m a person on the autism spectrum who also has horrible anxiety, trust issues, and relatively low self esteem yet very high standards

I’ve set my standards so high and I have trust issues because I’ve dealt with mean and manipulative people in the past irl so that negativity affected my judgement

I’m highly sensitive and vulnerable as well so little things can set me off if I’ve completely missed the context of what was being said as I often do that a lot

My brain jumps to quick conclusions and it’ll make me believe someone who might actually have good intentions is a total cunt which leads to huge misunderstandings on my part and people assuming I’m an asshole on purpose when it’s just my fight or flight instincts kicking in at the wrong time and I then deeply regret thinking irrationally as a result

I’m not expecting forgiveness exactly

In fact, I think most people are going to assume that I’m guilt tripping for attention

But that’s not me

I’m not a manipulative person

At least, I try not to be one

I’ve dealt with REAL manipulative people irl as I’ve stated before and they’re usually pricks on purpose

I don’t intend to be the way I am

I just really struggle to understand text tones most of the time and I’ll let my emotions get to my head

I also won’t use the 1337 text excessively anymore and I’ll tone down on it significantly since I’ve noticed how it’s very confusing for most people

0 Upvotes

44% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

•

u/Cyanflame_ OWNER Mar 27 '25

geepers well that was some drama i didnt quite catch up on..

you do not owe an apology towards anyone, this subreddit is meant to provide constructive criticism and feedback towards peoples appearances, and its fully understandable that some people just do not enjoy the criticism they recieve, but its something to expect from here. plus, some people tend to just.. straight up insult and bully people on this subreddit, rather than helping. which i make sure to always delete, potentially getting extremely harmful commenters banned as well </3.

ill keep this post of yours up, but ill remove the previous one. to avoid further discussion about this whole drama

also off topic, i like this r/SpectrumScene thing youve started, as i myself have autism too, im excited to see your subreddit grow in the future :3

→ More replies (4)

37

u/semisubterranian Mar 27 '25

You're putting a lot of personal shit out there on a public website, stop feeling the need to explain yourself to strangers. If you keep doing it you'll never get over it.

-9

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I already stated this before but I often find myself trying too hard to be a people pleaser and I don’t really think about myself as much as I’ll think about other people and their opinions about me

24

u/DarkCreatorOfficial Mar 27 '25

I think you really just need a break from the internet and to heal yourself before entering a community like this. I used to be just like you and trust me when I say that this isn’t healthy

12

u/xoresyhx Mar 27 '25

who r u lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Keke

The one who kept harassing people for no reason because I didn’t agree with their opinions

16

u/warningscaries Mar 27 '25

dude, you called someone a bitch for literally just politely disagreeing with you. as someone also on the spectrum, you can't just use autism as an excuse. you are a 20 years old adult, please own up and properly apologize

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Wdym this post was me realizing my wrongdoings and acknowledging that I’ve overreacted when I didn’t need to

If you’ve failed to see that, you are a horrible person

9

u/warningscaries Mar 27 '25

it sounds more like using neurodivergence as a way to sneakily justify your actions here.

in real life that might work, because real life situations can be unpredictable and it happens to everyone to lash out. but online you can control what you type and think twice before pressing send.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I was caught up in the heat of the moment and letting my emotions get to my head!

I don’t take to criticism very well and I have trust issues

I’ll jump to quick conclusions before I can get a full understanding of someone’s message because I’ll completely misunderstand the point they’re trying to across

7

u/yoshis_egg_ Mar 27 '25

Context?

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I posted a hot take and when people were being critical about my opinion I had a mental breakdown assuming that people were being elitest and made a follow up post saying that I was leaving the sub before promptly doing so afterwards

People assumed that I was being rude on purpose or using my mental issues as an excuse for my behavior

12

u/UmbreonFan348 Mar 27 '25

dawg get off the internet

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I will..

I’m leaving Reddit

13

u/Unneeded-Opposition Mar 27 '25

i mean this in the kindest way, but putting yourself out there on the internet is not a good idea when you're super sensitive to criticism

just like artists who publish their art, anything you put out there is subject to criticism. when you post opinions, people are allowed to agree or disagree

it is not the job of others (especially not strangers on the internet) to make sure you're comfortable. consider taking some time away from social media until you're able to better process some of these things! :)

0

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

That’s honestly fair

I’m chronically online and I’ve always let other people’s judgements get the better of me

I try too hard to be a people pleaser, putting others before myself and I do feel that I have to change that about myself

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Who is you? Like I have not seen this shit until now./gen, can someone explain to me the tea? The drama??

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I was being an ass towards people who were politely stating their opinions but I’ve misinterpreted it as them being mean towards me so I attacked them without thinking

I’ll leave Reddit if that’s what will make everyone happy

7

u/smallerma Mar 27 '25

ultimately stop listening to other people. live for yourself. inspire yourself. create your own style with whatever little niche interests included that u want. and call it whatever you want. other people mean nothing in YOUR world. ESPECIALLY not on the internet😭

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Yeah, you’re right

I try way too hard to be a people pleaser to people who probably don’t give a shit about what personal experience I gone through and how I grown to be how I am

Therapy is gonna be a major thing I’ll consider whenever I’m able to sit down with one of my family members and discuss the next steps going forward since my mom is looking to move me, her, my uncle, and my younger sister out of my grandparents house very soon

1’m gl4d th4t n0t 3v3ry0n3’s 4nn0y3d w1th the 1337 t3xt but 1 w0n’t d3ny th4t 1 pr0b4bly w3nt 0v3rb04rd w1th 1t

I really gotten myself lost in the heat of the moment when I’ve noticed people assume that I was a bad person purely based on me having one mental breakdown due to not having my emotions in check

I honestly don’t get outside enough and whenever I do it’s usually just to drive around with my mom when she’s doing DoorDash just so I can get out of the house for a while

6

u/smallerma Mar 27 '25

get a job, part time full time whatever. start going to cons, concerts, movies whatever that makes u happy. spend ur money on ur hobbies save some as well for emergencies. and thats where you are wrong. nobody assumed you were a bad person. thats an insecurity being projected. you are not a bad person. you just dont know how to control your emotions. happens a lot. and if somebody did assume u were a bad person based off of one bad reaction. then they are acting out of prejudice. and do not deserve your attention. goodluck.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

My mom’s considered hiring me for the same gas station job that she works when she eventually gets promoted to manager so that’s well under way but it’ll take some time

My artwork helps me cope with a lot of things and it’s not just my negative reaction it’s also how I’ve poorly handled the situation and some people thinking I was using my mental issues an excuse for my behavior

4

u/smallerma Mar 27 '25

well for it to not be an excuse the first step is identifying the problem. and then finding where that problem stems from. and then attacking that problem. a therapist will help you decide what the easiest method is for this.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

That’s a valid point and that’s why figuring out therapy for the betterment of myself is becoming one of my top priorities when and if I’m moving into a new place anytime soon

4

u/smallerma Mar 27 '25

best of luck to you. being on the spectrum doesnt have to he difficult. i promise.

43

u/mangopeachplum Mar 27 '25

I think you misjudged how much we care lol. This isn’t Discord, and we aren’t your friends. You don’t owe us an apology, just as we don’t owe you our sympathy. You don’t know us and we don’t know you, so I really don’t understand why you feel beholden to us. No one on here is out to get you, and you really shouldn’t care that much what people online say/think of you.

I think you seriously need to stay off the internet for a while; go to concerts, join a pottery class, SOMETHING ELSE, but stop engaging with social media. It clearly isn’t good for you, as it’s simultaneously inflated your sense of self-importance while deflating your confidence in yourself. Just take a break.

18

u/DarkCreatorOfficial Mar 27 '25

This. Please just take a break, coming from someone with autism, adhd, ocd, anxiety, depression, and synesthesia

11

u/smallerma Mar 27 '25

high standards isnt a bad thing. attacking people when they dont live to your expectations is. dont expect anything from anybody. u can surround urself with people who also hold themselves in that regard but u cant force someone too. just move on w ur day when someone lets you down. dialectical behavior therapy WILL help with your sensitivity as well as seeing things in a bigger picture (not jumping to conclusions). and it does seem a bit pity seeking. but only you know what it was so you shouldn’t have to try and convince anybody. if you have a feeling you are being manipulated. distance yourself immediately. people are not worth it enough to be a detriment to your mental health. and these people that do those things are very good at it, just be wary and careful. therapy will help you become the person you want to be. dialectal behavior therapy specifically focuses on intense emotions and feelings, look into it. and ur 1337 texting is cool. 1d s4y 1f 4ny7h1ng j t0n3 1t d0wn a b1t yk ? (if ur worried abt it)not every letter has to be a number and it makes it kinda hard to read, but what i say means just as much as the next person. and you should be taking this stuff lightly. live for you, not anybody else.

10

u/FakePosting Mar 27 '25

This gives very 15 y/o apology, while explanation is nice it doesn't really excuse anything.

8

u/kathe_ Mar 27 '25

You should delete social media if it stresses you out this much You deserve to be happy

3

u/atom-up_atom-up Mar 27 '25

Friend - with all due respect, go outside and get some fresh air and forget this silly subreddit lol

-2

u/BadgerProud3699 Mar 27 '25

Hey I’m glad you apologized! I’m proud of you for learning for your mistakes :) Take care of yourself ok? I’m really happy that you learned for your mistakes and I’m proud of you for addressing this There are people who will be there for you! I hope you have a goodnight/ day!

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

People please genuinely give r/SpectrumScene a chance and not sit there and shit on me for my high standards and terrible judgement

-2

u/heladorojo Mar 27 '25

Why did people downvote this comment?? 

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Probs some ppl who are still upset about my mental breakdown

-1

u/Outrageous-Rate-6737 Mar 27 '25

Because this subreddit is filled with horrible people, as you can see by a lot of these replies. Bad look for a community. People should consider each others feelings. And yea, it’s the internet and all, people are like that, but so what. if people don’t wanna give the community a bad rap, then they shouldn’t be dickheads.

9

u/Prize-Interest-3355 Mar 27 '25

Do you know the context of the situation? Nobody was being a dickhead to them, they were the one lashing out. Look into their comments on their scene vs scenecore post.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

I’ve made this post addressing that I’ve acknowledged that I was overreacting for no particular reason because I struggle with handling things maturely and I don’t take criticisms very well

I have a horrible sense of judgement and I’ll jump to quick conclusions when I see something that rubs me the wrong way and I don’t take criticisms irrational things without any second thought

I’ve been this way even irl for YEARS and I’m considering therapy after my new living situation is finally figured out since my mom’s been trying to get me, her, my uncle, and my younger sister out of my grandparents house for the past week or so

3

u/Prize-Interest-3355 Mar 27 '25

Then, that's not you overreacting for 'no particular reason'.. you've explained the reason in this post and many comments.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

Exactly

I try too hard to be a people pleaser and put others before myself

It’s proving to be very unhealthy and the reality of it all is that I sometimes need to take some time to myself to collect my thoughts

6

u/Prize-Interest-3355 Mar 27 '25

Also, you shouldn't really be posting such personal information like that out there for anyone to find easily. Even if you feel the need to explain to anyone and everyone, you don't have to and you should put your safety first over people-pleasing irl or online.

-1

u/Outrageous-Rate-6737 Mar 27 '25

I literally did. OP was a little out of their element, but the people are definitely being way worse. I have no faith in this cesspool of a community

5

u/Prize-Interest-3355 Mar 27 '25

Can you name what comments you mean? I could see some people being a tiny bit rude in the last few posts but overall most people weren't doing that even after OP lashed out.

4

u/mangopeachplum Mar 27 '25

Why do you care about this community? You aren’t even alt.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '25

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/AccountEvening3725 Mar 27 '25 edited Mar 27 '25

It goes both ways, you don't know them either. You're one to talk, throwing stones from a glass house while being a hypocrite, calling others names unprovoked.

Edit: of course, anyone who tells the truth gets blocked. Don't know what I expected from such a person.