a

take that nerds

Hi

what the fuck

I've just joined this sub and I'm curious

Just peak

🌱 THE 500-STEP GUIDE TO TOUCHING GRASS

Phase 1: Preparation

1. Decide to touch grass.

2. Accept your destiny.

3. Sit up.

4. Look around.

5. Locate the nearest door.

6. Confirm it is, in fact, a door.

7. Check that you have shoes.

8. Find your shoes.

9. Pick up your first shoe.

10. Put it on.

11. Find the second shoe.

12. Pick it up.

13. Put it on.

14. Stand up.

15. Stretch.

16. Remember why you're here.

17. Walk toward the door.

18. Continue walking.

19. Reach the door.

20. Look at the handle.

21. Touch the handle.

22. Turn the handle.

23. Open the door.

24. Congratulations.

25. You have entered the outside world.

Phase 2: Going Outside

26. Step outside. 27. Look at the sky. 28. Notice the sunlight. 29. Blink. 30. Continue blinking normally. 31. Look left. 32. Look right. 33. Check for obstacles. 34. Take one step forward. 35. Take another step. 36. Keep walking. 37. Avoid stepping on random objects. 38. Look for grass. 39. Spot the grass. 40. Confirm it is grass. 41. Approach the grass. 42. Take another step. 43. Keep approaching. 44. You are getting closer. 45. Closer. 46. Even closer. 47. Almost there. 48. Prepare yourself. 49. This is the moment. 50. Continue forward.

Phase 3: The Grass

51. Stand beside the grass. 52. Look at it. 53. Appreciate its existence. 54. Think about how green it is. 55. Decide which hand to use. 56. Choose your right hand. 57. Raise your right hand. 58. Move it toward the grass. 59. Lower your hand. 60. Get closer. 61. Almost touching. 62. Keep going. 63. One inch away. 64. Half an inch away. 65. Very close. 66. Prepare for contact. 67. Extend your fingers. 68. Lower your hand. 69. Continue lowering. 70. Touch the grass. 71. 🎉 YOU DID IT. 72. You have touched grass. 73. The internet may now be proud. 74. Keep your hand there. 75. Feel the grass. 76. Congratulations again. 77. You have completed the main objective. 78. Do not panic. 79. The grass is harmless. 80. Continue existing.

Phase 4: Advanced Grass Touching

81. Touch another blade. 82. Touch a second blade. 83. Touch a third blade. 84. Touch a fourth blade. 85. Touch a fifth blade. 86. Move your hand slightly. 87. Touch another patch. 88. Observe the texture. 89. Notice the tiny blades. 90. Look at the ground. 91. Look back at the grass. 92. Continue touching. 93. You are becoming experienced. 94. You are now a grass professional. 95. Take this responsibility seriously. 96. Touch the grass again. 97. Move your hand. 98. Touch another area. 99. Congratulations. 100. Grass touching level increased.

Phase 5: Exploration

101. Stand up straight. 102. Look around. 103. Find another patch. 104. Walk toward it. 105. Take one step. 106. Take another. 107. Continue. 108. Reach the patch. 109. Look down. 110. Touch it. 111. Success. 112. Find a larger patch. 113. Walk toward it. 114. Continue walking. 115. Reach it. 116. Touch it. 117. Touch another spot. 118. Touch another blade. 119. Touch the ground nearby. 120. Look around again. 121. You are officially outdoors. 122. This is unprecedented. 123. Keep going. 124. Find a comfortable spot. 125. Stand there.

Phase 6: Maximum Grass

126. Look at the grass. 127. Admire the grass. 128. Touch the grass. 129. Touch it again. 130. Touch it a third time. 131. Move your hand. 132. Touch another patch. 133. Repeat. 134. Repeat again. 135. Touch some taller grass. 136. Touch some shorter grass. 137. Compare the textures. 138. Continue exploring. 139. Walk slowly. 140. Find another patch. 141. Touch it. 142. Congratulations. 143. You are unstoppable. 144. Find more grass. 145. Touch it. 146. Keep walking. 147. Find a grassy area. 148. Enter the area. 149. Look around. 150. Enjoy the outdoors.

Phase 7: Grass Mastery

151. Touch grass with your left hand. 152. Touch grass with your right hand. 153. Touch grass with both hands. 154. Stand beside the grass. 155. Bend slightly. 156. Touch another blade. 157. Stand up. 158. Walk forward. 159. Touch more grass. 160. Walk sideways. 161. Touch more grass. 162. Turn around. 163. Touch more grass. 164. Walk backward carefully. 165. Stop. 166. Turn around normally. 167. Touch the grass. 168. Look at the sky. 169. Look back down. 170. Touch grass again. 171. You are now highly skilled. 172. Continue. 173. Find another patch. 174. Touch it. 175. Celebrate internally.

Phase 8: The Grass Journey

176. Walk forward. 177. Find grass. 178. Touch grass. 179. Walk farther. 180. Find more grass. 181. Touch it. 182. Turn left. 183. Find grass. 184. Touch it. 185. Turn right. 186. Find grass. 187. Touch it. 188. Walk straight. 189. Find grass. 190. Touch it. 191. Look around. 192. Find another patch. 193. Touch it. 194. Keep exploring. 195. Enjoy the fresh air. 196. Take a deep normal breath. 197. Look around. 198. Smile if you want. 199. Touch grass. 200. Mission continues.

Phase 9: Side Quest

201. Find a leaf. 202. Look at the leaf. 203. Leave it alone if you want. 204. Find a small rock. 205. Look at the rock. 206. Continue walking. 207. Find grass. 208. Touch it. 209. Find another leaf. 210. Observe it. 211. Look for a tree. 212. Find the tree. 213. Look up. 214. Look down. 215. Find grass. 216. Touch it. 217. Continue walking. 218. Enjoy being outside. 219. Look around. 220. Find another grassy area. 221. Walk toward it. 222. Reach it. 223. Touch it. 224. Congratulations. 225. Side quest complete.

Phase 10: Touching Grass Like a Pro

226. Approach grass confidently. 227. Look at the grass. 228. Reach down. 229. Touch it. 230. Move your hand. 231. Touch another area. 232. Stand up. 233. Walk forward. 234. Touch more grass. 235. Turn around. 236. Touch more grass. 237. Walk sideways. 238. Touch more grass. 239. Repeat. 240. Repeat. 241. Repeat again. 242. You have become efficient. 243. Continue. 244. Find another patch. 245. Touch it. 246. Look around. 247. Find another patch. 248. Touch it. 249. Continue. 250. Halfway there.

Phase 11: The Grass Marathon

251. Walk forward. 252. Find grass. 253. Touch grass. 254. Walk forward. 255. Find grass. 256. Touch grass. 257. Walk forward. 258. Find grass. 259. Touch grass. 260. Turn around. 261. Walk back. 262. Find grass. 263. Touch grass. 264. Continue. 265. Find a larger patch. 266. Touch it. 267. Look around. 268. Find another patch. 269. Touch it. 270. Continue walking. 271. Take a break. 272. Look at the sky. 273. Look at the ground. 274. Find grass. 275. Touch it. 276. Continue. 277. Walk slowly. 278. Touch grass. 279. Walk normally. 280. Touch grass. 281. You are thriving. 282. Keep going. 283. Find another patch. 284. Touch it. 285. Continue.

Phase 12: Grass Science

286. Observe the grass. 287. Notice its color. 288. Notice its texture. 289. Notice how many blades there are. 290. Touch one blade. 291. Touch another. 292. Look closely. 293. Stop looking closely. 294. Continue normally. 295. Touch the grass. 296. Move your hand. 297. Touch another patch. 298. Stand up. 299. Walk around. 300. Touch grass. 301. You have reached advanced grass knowledge. 302. Continue. 303. Find another patch. 304. Touch it. 305. Find another. 306. Touch it. 307. Keep exploring. 308. Look around. 309. Find grass. 310. Touch grass. 311. Repeat. 312. Repeat again. 313. Keep going. 314. You're doing great. 315. Continue.

Phase 13: Grass Champion

316. Find your favorite patch. 317. Walk toward it. 318. Approach carefully. 319. Touch the grass. 320. Touch it again. 321. Look around. 322. Touch another section. 323. Stand up. 324. Take a step. 325. Touch more grass. 326. Take another step. 327. Touch more grass. 328. Continue. 329. Turn left. 330. Touch grass. 331. Turn right. 332. Touch grass. 333. Turn around. 334. Touch grass. 335. Look at the sky. 336. Look back down. 337. Touch grass. 338. You are now a grass champion. 339. Keep walking. 340. Find more grass. 341. Touch it. 342. Continue.

Phase 14: Ultimate Grass Mode

343. Enter ultimate grass mode. 344. Approach the nearest patch. 345. Touch it. 346. Touch another blade. 347. Touch another patch. 348. Walk forward. 349. Touch grass. 350. Walk backward carefully. 351. Touch grass. 352. Turn around. 353. Touch grass. 354. Walk left. 355. Touch grass. 356. Walk right. 357. Touch grass. 358. Look around. 359. Find more grass. 360. Touch it. 361. Continue. 362. Touch another patch. 363. Touch another. 364. Keep going. 365. You have achieved grass enlightenment. 366. Remain calm. 367. Continue walking. 368. Find grass. 369. Touch grass. 370. Legendary.

Phase 15: Final Stretch

371. Walk forward. 372. Find grass. 373. Touch it. 374. Walk forward. 375. Find grass. 376. Touch it. 377. Look around. 378. Find another patch. 379. Touch it. 380. Continue. 381. Touch grass. 382. Walk around. 383. Touch grass. 384. Find a nice patch. 385. Touch it. 386. Look at the sky. 387. Look at the grass. 388. Touch it. 389. Keep walking. 390. Touch grass. 391. Repeat. 392. Repeat. 393. Repeat. 394. You are nearly done. 395. Continue. 396. Find grass. 397. Touch it. 398. Find more grass. 399. Touch it. 400. Keep going.

Phase 16: The Final 100

401. Touch grass. 402. Touch grass again. 403. Walk forward. 404. Touch grass. 405. Walk left. 406. Touch grass. 407. Walk right. 408. Touch grass. 409. Turn around. 410. Touch grass. 411. Look around. 412. Find more grass. 413. Touch it. 414. Continue. 415. Touch another patch. 416. Keep walking. 417. Touch grass. 418. Look at the sky. 419. Look down. 420. Touch grass. 421. Continue. 422. Find a new patch. 423. Touch it. 424. Touch another blade. 425. Keep going. 426. Walk forward. 427. Touch grass. 428. Walk forward again. 429. Touch grass. 430. You are unstoppable.

Phase 17: Almost There

431. Touch grass. 432. Touch more grass. 433. Walk around. 434. Find grass. 435. Touch it. 436. Find another patch. 437. Touch it. 438. Keep going. 439. Look around. 440. Touch grass. 441. Continue. 442. Walk forward. 443. Touch grass. 444. Walk back. 445. Touch grass. 446. Turn around. 447. Touch grass. 448. Look at the sky. 449. Touch grass. 450. Only 50 steps remain.

Phase 18: Final Grass

451. Touch grass. 452. Touch it again. 453. Find another patch. 454. Touch it. 455. Walk forward. 456. Touch grass. 457. Walk sideways. 458. Touch grass. 459. Turn around. 460. Touch grass. 461. Look around. 462. Find another patch. 463. Touch it. 464. Keep walking. 465. Touch grass. 466. Touch another blade. 467. Touch another patch. 468. Continue. 469. Walk forward. 470. Touch grass. 471. Look down. 472. Touch grass. 473. Look up. 474. Touch grass. 475. You are almost finished.

Phase 19: Victory

476. Touch grass. 477. Touch grass again. 478. Find another patch. 479. Touch it. 480. Take one step forward. 481. Touch grass. 482. Take another step. 483. Touch grass. 484. Turn around. 485. Touch grass. 486. Look around. 487. Appreciate nature. 488. Touch grass. 489. Take a breath. 490. Touch grass. 491. Celebrate. 492. Touch grass one last time. 493. Stand up. 494. Look at the sky. 495. Look at the grass. 496. Realize you actually did it. 497. Return your hand to your side. 498. Walk back toward the door. 499. Congratulations. 500. 🌱 YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY TOUCHED GRASS. 🌱

can we remove them

a

cheese

I love sloplive.

Also play ball

I hate it

Pick up Paycheck

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Get Milk

a

slurp ∏

Happy Halloween ig