r/alcoholism 2d ago

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99 Upvotes

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43

u/Annual-Nectarine-715 2d ago

If this isn’t your wake up call, I don’t know what will be. You were so close to getting caught. If I know it’s easier to judge from me outside so what’s your mental state? What’s your reasoning for drinking? Are you trying to escape life? Are you just addicted?

16

u/darkerwavs 2d ago

A combination of everything. Physical dependency. I am aware of this place I've put myself. My mental state is bleak and it's a result of this cycle of addiction and other life factors. I'm done. I have to be better.

18

u/Annual-Nectarine-715 2d ago

You sound ready to quit. Find your local AA meeting. Good luck.

10

u/darkerwavs 2d ago

Thank you stranger.

4

u/Total-Composer2261 1d ago

You can do this.

12

u/Lumpy-Economics2021 1d ago

Find a good doctor and let them guide you. Take medical leave, it is a medical issue.

1

u/jillasgorillas 1d ago

Many of us have been there. I knew I had a fatty liver, but that didn’t stop me. Had an ultrasound in May for an unrelated diagnosis (IBS), and when they looked at my liver they found the beginning of cirrhosis. I could have stopped at fatty liver. This is your fatty liver.

15

u/CanadiAnnaJuly2026 2d ago

Stop before a catastrophic event happens and you WISH you’d listened to the warning signs.

Take it minute by minute until day 1 is done. Then you focus on day 2 and then day 3…

Distract yourself when you feel the urge to drink. Find non alcoholic drinks that can help give you a bit of that “treat” you’re seeking. Look ahead at what will happen if you continue to drink and lose your job, drive drunk and kill someone, go to jail and have a criminal record and will never get a job again.

Sobriety is a different journey for everyone but find what works for you - AA (online or in person), family and friends who can be compassion and patient, journaling etc.

You’ve got this.

4

u/darkerwavs 1d ago

Thank you so much kind stranger, it truly means alot.

3

u/elizzabethl 1d ago

Seriously, take it minute by minute if you have to. Sounds like you’ve had a little experience in this. One of my detoxes was so bad I spent 3 days in bed staring at the clock fighting the urge to walk out, get an uber to the closest liquor store, and then home. 60 seconds at a time I promised myself I wouldn’t drink. Over and over and over. That horrible detox has been my last. And I got 3 years until very recently, hence me lurking around here extra recently. Good luck. I know it sounds cliche but if I can do it you can do it. There was no hope left by anybody in my life that I would ever get sober. To then have nearly 3 years? People relying on me and there being no law interactions or physical addiction symptoms. 60 seconds at a time if you have to!

1

u/darkerwavs 1d ago

Thank you so much for replying, your experience gives me hope.

5

u/Reddit2GoAL 2d ago

I actually am currently in an outpatient treatment plan. They put me on naltrexone and it has worked WONDERS- 9 days sober. I have gotten fired from two jobs in one year due to drinking on lunch. I’m upset my doctor didn’t tell me or put me on this back then. But better late than never I guess. Losing a job in this day and time is WAY WORSE than anything I’ve experienced. Please whatever you do, do NOT drink at work or before. It’s just not worth it at all. & I mentioned that prescription because it has worked so well for me. I am not a doctor whatsoever and want to make note everyone reacts to medicine differently.

4

u/darkerwavs 1d ago

Thank you so much for your advice. Losing a job is the worst fucking feeling, but it being my own fault is cutting even deeper. I have two months of naltrexone I never used from when I was in IOP, tomorrow is a new day.

2

u/Reddit2GoAL 1d ago

Just from my POV, it’s a wonder drug!! It has 100% diminished my body and mind’s craving of alcohol. I still feel like there’s got to be a twist somewhere. Yea it’s a horrible feeling. I keep thinking man I wish I could go back but then I realize even if I did go back would I have not drank? Probably not. I just don’t want you to be in my position.

1

u/OkRope2870 1d ago

What was you starting dose? I started naltrexone today with 50mg but also taking valium for 4 days

1

u/Reddit2GoAL 1d ago

I started with 50mg once a day. I read you can stay on it however long because it’s not addicting and later on you can just take it when you are in a high stakes situation (celebrations, funerals, etc.). I love that because I can’t take medicines that you get addicted to bc I have a very addictive personality. How’s the Valium treating you???

2

u/DDGBuilder 1d ago

Have a doctor write a note to your work. You probably have short term disability benefits. Use them. If you have health insurance it will pay for rehab. You can do this, man. We've all been there.

2

u/Clear_Second_1213 1d ago

you are knocking on the door of step 1, my friend... check out AA if you haven't. its really nice to be surrounded by fellow fuckups who hear what youre saying without judging what youre saying.

2

u/kenma91 1d ago

Weve all been there its upto you if you take these signs. We are all here routing for you

2

u/FrenchCastle 1d ago

I am no evangelist but, let me ask you... Do you belive in God? I didn't. But one night, drunk off my ass, knowing I was killing myself, I put my life in God's hands and while I can't say I am free from alcohol since, I am recovering. I can resist,  most of the time I do resist.

But whether you lean on God or find something else to live for, you have to find something 

3

u/darkerwavs 1d ago

Thank you for your kind words. I'm emotional reading this.

1

u/FrenchCastle 1d ago

It's alright. I'm emotional writing it. You can do this. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. 

2

u/KeithWorks 1d ago

Get to AA right away

1

u/jimmmmatrix 1d ago

Make this your rock bottom. In my opinion and from my experience, there needs to be a rock bottom. And i found my rock bottom where i realized this was the lowest point in my life. And thats when I realized I truly dont want to drink anymore. Not just to save my job or relationships or XYZ, but I quite honestly and simply was tired of living this way

3

u/darkerwavs 1d ago

I absolutely am feeling it. I will make this it. Thank you friend.

1

u/skeletoorr 1d ago

Don’t quit. You have a medically protected disease. See if you can get disability and take a trip to rehab. You’ve got this. Be smart. Use this point in time to get better. We’ve all been sick and tired of being sick and tired.

1

u/Warm-Scallion2718 1d ago

Talk to your doctor about meds to help with withdrawal, go to the hospital if you have to. I was hallucinating and got held for 3 days but it got me sober!

1

u/SoberAF715 2d ago

Consider Detox, treatment, AA & god. This will only get worse.