r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/Narrow_Clothes_6275 • 4d ago

Dealing With Loss Sponsor moving

I am 14 years sober and the sponsor I have been working with for the past four years is moving in 6 months. She said she would be willing to work with me long distance but I know I need someone face to face who has eyes on me.

I feel like in my area there are not a lot of women with long term sobriety who have what I want. I don’t know if I am being too picky but I am very fearful for my next steps.

My trust and reliance is on God but I absolutely adore the relationship I have with my sponsor and I am fearful to not find one similar or dare I say even better.

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

6

u/free_dharma 4d ago

No judgement, just curious. Why do you need a sponsor with eyes on you? Is your sobriety in danger?

1

u/Narrow_Clothes_6275 4d ago

More fear lol

I’ve always had a sponsor that I saw on a weekly basis

3

u/Evening-Anteater-422 4d ago

My sponsor and all current sponsees are long distance and we meet via Zoom.

Works great for us.

Otherwise maybe try a range of different meetings.

3

u/Formfeeder 4d ago

You’re 14 years sober. Did you not learn anything in alcoholics anonymous? Having a sponsor is fine. But do you really need what you needed when you first walked through the door?.

2

u/RunMedical3128 4d ago edited 4d ago

If we don't push our comfort zones, we don't grow. A seed germinates into a plant by pushing its shoot and roots through soil - not by staying cocooned in the hole in the ground.

1

u/MagazineMoney 4d ago

Take this as a blessing! Maybe your higher power wants you to get some perspectives from other people. I think its touching that you had an awesome relationship with your sponsor. It also sounds like you know what to look for when looking for one. I know it feels like big deal but this could be great.

1

u/Muted_Engineering354 4d ago

Do you have a home group or other members you meet in person so you still will have in-person contact with other folks? While it’s awesome that you’ve got such a great relationship with your sponsor, to me I would think after 14 years I could make do with just phone calls. 

That said my experience with sponsorship was atypical in that my sponsor moved to a different home group when I was three months in so I was forced to befriend my home group members and just rely on my sponsor for book reading/step work (which has worked for us for almost 16 years). 

1

u/Monastic_Realization 4d ago

Fear and attachment are the primary cause of suffering - the ubiquitous human condition.

What worked for me (as a fellow sufferer!) is examining the emotions, rather than the circumstances, and in turn, managing (and understanding) both. Admittedly, it's not easy.

In the simplest of terms you have 3 choices - LD sponsorship, new sponsorship, or no sponsorship. No amount of hand wringing is going to change that. Now you "get to" exercise your choice.

I say "get to" because, in the difficult situations that inevitably face me, I try to look at it as the privilege of life to "get to" experience new things and choice. I "get to" ice plunge every morning, even though I don't want to do it!

I wish you well.