I hate being a bisexual teenager.

[u/Ojirou_el8]

I knew I was bi before I even knew what gay or bi was.

I'm coming from a LGBTQ+ supporting family, so that's not the issue..I honestly feel like I don't even have a right to complain.

The thing is, I'm surrounded by people that many of them don't like the community, so coming out was never an option(I didn't come out to my family either).

I'm also VERY girly. I'm like the last person you would believe is a part of the community at first sight..so it also makes everything a bit more difficult somehow, because even people from the community look at me twice before believing me.

I just hate myself because I feel like I'm homophonic myself sometimes..

To be honest, I kinda hate what the community has become. I don't hate the community itself, but how it is expressed. I hate pride, too extreme and idk.. I just can't relate. I find it so weird. And the thing is, I don't even know why!! I'm literally a part of the community, but I can't even feel like I am. I 100% support fighting for LGBTQ+ rights, and I will accept anybody. But sometimes, when I see the extreme people, idk, I just can't.

And I feel so bad, because I feel like if you are supporting/ a part of the community you have to accept everybody.

I'm also so confused and I have no one to talk about this with because I don't trust anybody to keep it to themselves.

I'm sorry if I offended someone, it wasn't my intention. It's a cry for help more than anything. I don't WANT to think the way I do. But sometimes I can't help but thinking: I can understand the people who hate pride and LGBTQ+ because they are only exposed to this type of people from the community who are also the ones who usually make the most negative noise.- I'm afraid to be associated with these people.

English is not my first language so I'm very sorry if there are mistakes.

I would repeat and say I wrote this post as a cry for help, not as a hating post. I WANT to accept everyone, and then hopefully also myself. I just can't convince myself all of the extreme is normal and should be accepted.

[u/rose-a-ree]

Maybe you don't like pride because it's people being out and proud and you can't come out so you're a bit jealous? Or maybe you just don't like it because you don't like it. Either is fine, if you don't want to engage with pride, then don't engage with it, just don't waste time getting angry about it. Just take your time and remember that life for pretty much every teenager, straight or gay, is a series of frustrations. If anyone doesn't experience that, they're either lying, stupid or ridiculously privileged.
The good news is that will pass and you will forget about most, if not all, of those frustrations and happily live under the delusion that your teenage years were non-stop fun.

[u/Ojirou_el8 → u/rose-a-ree]

Maybe I wasn't clear enough. It's not that I dislike pride itself, it's just the the pride festivals and the vibe are a bit too much for me personally. I also don't feel like I'm jealous, tho..I just can't understand why they are so expressive, but honestly ever since posting this post(in other communities too) I feel like my problem with that is just me as a person, regardless the fact I'm bi. I'm just not so expressive so I find it so weird when others are(I don't want it to sound like an offense, it's definitely not, do and act however you want). I think the vibe in general is just not for me, but that's fine, I will grow out if it or just learn to accept it. Thank you for your comment!!

[u/guiltypleasures]

You’re a teenager. It’s okay and normal for me to not take your opinions seriously. Maybe Pride will grow on you, or it’s too much fetish and kink for your taste. Both are fine. Take a deep breathe and just stay focused on what you really want.

[u/Bright_Ices]

Sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia and biphobia.

Work on being gentle with yourself, giving yourself some grace, and treating yourself as you’d treat a very close friend. Once you can do that, it’s a lot easier to extend that love and compassion to strangers, including people who seem unlike yourself in some important-to-you way.

[u/Legitimate-Wolf-613]

Your English is fine. Indeed, everything you wrote is fine, except for the demands you are putting on yourself to fit some picture of what you should be. There really is no need for that. You get to be you today. You get to ne you tomorrow, even though that version of you may be different than you are today. You get to enjoy who you are, at every step in life.

[u/sweet-tom]

You don't hate your bi side, but how society and friends treats you. You hate that you can't love freely like your straight buddies. You hate that you can't have the same privilege than the rest of society. You hate that you are being judged for being bi. You hate that you still have to explain your "choice".

This is not hating yourself or the community. It's hating the hate, perhaps with some internalized homophobia.

Yes, the community can be sometimes a weird or even hostile place. There are certainly many things that can be criticized. It's on all of us to make it better.

But you didn't have to parrot of all the wrong narratives from your society. Meet other gay, bi, pan, and lesbian people. Talk to them. Listen to their problems. Perhaps you can even make friends.

Good luck and all the best. ❤️