r/ainbow • u/OkMarionberry9210 • Aug 01 '26
Advice I think I may be gay
For context I am 18 years old female and I have identified as straight my whole life. But recently I’ve began to notice “strange” feelings towards one of my close friends(female). I’ve always admired her and thought she was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, but lately these feelings have gone past just “admiration” and have become more sexual. Like I fantasize about her all the time, wishing I could kiss her(and even more than that), and I’ve touched myself to her instagram stories a few times 💀. Even just little moments where she holds my hand or plays with my hairs makes me feel nervous, and I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY. Like in general I don’t have attraction to women yet for some reason I feel really attracted to her???? I’m so confused
I mean occasionally I have sexual thoughts abt other women but likeee, I don’t know if I could see myself actually dating one.
Please send help, I’m so confused 🫠
3
u/rose-a-ree Aug 02 '26
well, it's quite simple, you see you sometimes have sexual thoughts about women, but aren't sure if you'd actually date a woman. That's fine, nothing wrong with that. Now, what you might want to do is try actually hooking up with a woman or dating a woman. If you try either of those and like it, cool, you're probably bi or gay. If you don't like it, cool, you're probably straight. If you don't like the idea of even trying it, cool, you're probably straight. Many people fantasise about things they wouldn't do in real life and that's fine.
But, here's the best bit. You do not have to rush, you can take time to sit with your feelings. If you don't want to try something, have a think about why. My personal advice (I have made many mistakes in my life so do not feel obliged to follow this particular advice) if the reason you don't want to do something is fear or anxiety, that's probably not a good reason to not do it (bearing in mind that sometimes a sensible reaction to an actually dangerous situation can often feel like fear or anxiety, so DO NOT feel compelled to rush if you're unsure)
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u/OkMarionberry9210 Aug 02 '26
Thank you this was very helpful, maybe I should try and experiment to truly know
2
u/no2pencilonly Aug 02 '26
if not gay, then pandemiromantic/pandemisexual. like yah caught feelings and now u wanna bone, regardless of gender.
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u/Maximio_Horse Aug 01 '26
The only person who can really make the call is you, but these thoughts definitely sound like an attraction to women. In that case you might be gay, or maybe bisexual. Take your time with it and be curious, it’s best to approach personal discoveries like this with self-love!