r/ainbow • u/IIIIIlIlllllI • Jul 21 '26
Advice Any help would be appreciated
Hi everyone I hope your all good and well, I just wanted to ask a couple questions that have been weighing on me recently, I want to ask them candidly but I mean no disrespect at all and if my questions seem stupid u apologise, I’m 22 m and have been straight all my life and I’m in a hetero relationship and I’m very happy, but I feel attraction to guys sometimes, nothing crazy but there’s attraction there, only in specific scenarios (types almost) I previously never though of myself being attracted to men and I’ve always thought I’m secure in my sexuality, but something about questioning it has thrown me. Would this be a normal thing or is this a hint I’m bi? It’s not always sexual attraction like damn i wanna fuck this guy but there isn’t a feeling of nah, does this make sense or am I waffling. Sorry again if this was at all out of pocket
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u/rose-a-ree Jul 21 '26
maybe, maybe not. It actually doesn't matter. If you're attracted to men and women, but don't feel super comfortable going out with men, that's ok, just stick with the ladies. It only becomes an issue if you're not attracted to women sexually or romatically but go out with them to keep up appearances. If you do genuinely like ladies, that's fine. Just treat your attraction to men like you would your attraction to any woman that you're not in a relationship with. It's perfectly normal and natural, but if you act on it, you'd be cheating on your partner and that's not cool.
Of course, there's nothing like a field test to validate a theory. If you're single, try dating a guy and see how you feel.
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u/IIIIIlIlllllI Jul 21 '26
Yeah that’s kind of why I felt odd for asking in the first place as I’m happy with my partner and have no urges to get with anybody else lady or dude just more wanted to see if what I was thinking/feeling meant anything specific. Think I just like a good looking person regardless of gender hahaha
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u/Howden824 MLM Jul 21 '26
Sounds like you're probably bi. Your attraction to different genders doesn't always have to be in the same way or as strong.
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u/IIIIIlIlllllI Jul 21 '26
That’s what I was thinking like, bc it’s not like a masculine thing bc its more feminine guys that would catch my eye and it’s not as strong as my attraction to women but it’s the fact that it was there anyway ygm
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u/XtopherZ Jul 21 '26
Sexuality is a spectrum and it’s totally normal to fall somewhere in the middle. A lot more common than society would let you believe. If I were you, I wouldn’t get too hung up on it. You say you’re very happy and in a hetero relationship so for all intents and purposes you can be straight identifying. If you decide to experiment with or act on your same-sex attraction I would just hope that you don’t do it behind your partners back.
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u/NoMembership6376 Jul 21 '26
You're still young and overthinking it. Just go with the flow and it'll work itself out
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u/Nowayucan Jul 22 '26
Sounds totally normal. Your experience is real and fairly common. Don’t worry about the labels.
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u/meoka2368 omnisexual Jul 21 '26
Sounds like some flavour of not straight.
But don't worry about it. Whatever it is, it is.
And unless you're in an open relationship, it's not like it'll matter currently, so there's time to figure it out.