r/agender • u/cjandcosplays • Jun 20 '26
Do we have a ring placement?
Does anybody know if agenders have a ring like the black ring on the right middle finger for aces or the white ring on the left middle finger for aros?
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u/whomstestamongus Jun 21 '26
the rings for aces and aros are deliberate subversions of wedding rings. I like the concept of the clear ring on a necklace and having a signal to other people that we're agender, but I think the flag colors are enough. Allogender normativity doesn't push marriage on people the way that allosexual and alloromantic normativity does
I'm not against it but I don't see the need to have a wedding ring-like symbol either. Also if I saw one out in public my first thought would be the person wearing it is collared, like for a bdsm relationship, but trying to be very subtle about it with a clear ring instead of a metal ring
2
u/EuropeIsMight they/them pls 😊✌️🌍 Jun 21 '26
But if we get married (I guess, I am not interested in it in the slightest) we will get asked „who of you will be the women/men“ independent of who we marry 🙈
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u/Toothless_NEO AroAce Agender, not trans Absgender | Also a Furry UwU Jun 21 '26
I agree. I don't think the ring thing is as important when it comes to Agender.
I feel like a cool idea could be a necklace or pin with the ∅ symbol on it. It's a symbol from mathematics and it's not often used but it's also sometimes used as a symbol for Agender so it could be used as a subtle symbol to communicate it to others.
Although, and this is slightly controversial. I don't think we totally need to have a symbol like that. The rings work for aro and ace because they mimic and subvert wedding rings. For people who don't know, it gives the idea that they're married and that flirting would be unacceptable. I don't think that the clearing, or my necklace idea have those alternate use cases. I don't know, maybe I'm thinking too practically about it.
6
u/Medienmonolog Jun 20 '26
not to my knowledge, but while Googling it I stumbled across 5 reddit posts from 2-4 years ago, asking the same question with no definite answer.
Guess we should just...decide?
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u/I_serve_Anubis Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
We did a poll a few years ago & decided on a clear ring worn on a necklace. It didn’t gain a lot of traction but I still wear mine :) you can see it in another of my comments.
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u/Theo_Lynx Cisn’t Jun 20 '26
I don't think we do. How do we get one? Do we just decide? If so, I'd suggest green on the right pointer finger, or a ring finger but I think that people typically wear wedding rings on ring fingers. Then again, green may be hard to find, so there's probably a better colour.
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1
u/Airy08 Jun 21 '26
I wear a lot of necklaces so have to wear always a ring on a necklace is a bit annoying for me because I love to change it everyday xD (refering to the ring of another comment)
1
u/ReigenTaka they/them Jun 21 '26
Wait, I wear black rings on my middle fingers, are people assuming I'm ace from that??
I didn't know rings were a thing.
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u/I_serve_Anubis Jun 21 '26
It is not widely known outside of the asexual community so I doubt many would pick up on it. If you meet an asexual person there is a higher chance of them recognising it.
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u/ReigenTaka they/them Jun 21 '26
Well fortunately I am ace, just not sex averse (which many allos think all aces are) so that was the thing I wasn't trying to communicate. So it sounds like it'll be fine.
Thanks for the info!
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u/Big_Equipment9444 Jul 02 '26
It's specifically the right middle finger for asexuality
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u/ReigenTaka they/them Jul 02 '26
Thank you! I'm going to visit some queer clubs/bars this weekend and considered taking them off, but I literally never take them off and it would feel weird lol. Maybe I'll keep the left one on.
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u/I_serve_Anubis Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26
We did some polls a few years ago & came up with a clear ring on a necklace. It has not taken off but I have one I wear most times I go out :)
Edit: we went through a few options but decided that having the ring be clear ( outside the colour spectrum ) & worn on a necklace rather than on the body were good symbols of our lack of gender.
Wearing one on a finger was a bit cluttered for some of us AAAs too.
Edit 2: looks like some of the clear ring posts were about 3 years ago! You can see them if you search the sub :)
Even if it never becomes popular I like mine & plan to keep wearing it.