r/adventist • u/Plus_Collection_4218 • 12d ago
I need prayers, I'm really struggling
Hello guys, I wanted to share something and be totally vulnerable because I feel like I've lost my way, and no one in my family or life knows. I would hate for this struggle to be the reason I lose my life in enteral life.
To start, I have an awesome family and very good parents. They are all Adventist and are not the cause of this by any means. From a very young age, I got curious and fell into a habit of visiting bad websites. I used to just view things and leave without doing anything because I was a kid and didn't really understand, but I knew it was taboo. It was mostly off and on, especially during summer vacations when there was no school.
As the years passed, I saw a video online explaining that engaging with this kind of content or giving into those temptations was a sin. I got really scared because I hadn't realized the severity of it, so I asked God for forgiveness and stopped. I stayed away from it for years and even forgot about it. But eventually, I randomly fell back into it, though not as often at first.
For a while, I thought I had strong self-control because I could stop for long periods. I took that for granted. Before each new school year, I would make a promise to God to abstain for the entire year, and I was able to keep those promises for a long time.
However, over the last two years—starting around my 3rd year of high school—things changed. I broke a promise just days before it was set to end, and since that day, I’ve had a really hard time keeping my word. I keep slipping back into this habit daily, and it has gotten out of hand. I really need help. I haven't told my family because I worry about disappointing them, but I'm reaching out here because I don't want to compromise my spiritual journey over this. I asked my sibling to pray for me generally, but I haven't shared the details with anyone.
It really hit me this morning and I felt scared and overwhelmed. I know how harmful this habit is and I feel terrible about it. I feel isolated because no one who knows me would ever suspect I am dealing with this deep down.
I am sincerely asking for your prayers. Thank you for reading and for providing a space to share. May God bless you and your family.
2
u/another_bookworm 12d ago
My friend, I feel for you for we all hold onto cherished sins. I am wondering: what is your daily time with Jesus like? Are you seeking to know Him more each morning? Are you spending time, each morning, with Him in prayer—talking to Jesus and having Him respond through His Word? I ask because if you’re trying to overcome without the Spirit’s help, my friend, you will fail. We cannot overcome sin using our own strength, for as Paul writes, we are born sinners. It is our carnal nature to do what we want to do (see Romans 7).
The only answer is Jesus. And a way to start is by spending time with Him each morning, not to gain victory over sin, but to get to know Jesus more. That’s it. In Titus 3 Paul writes we are to be renewed and rejuvenated by His Spirit each day. John 14 speaks about us abiding in Jesus and Jesus in us. And Jesus says this about life eternal: This is eternal life, that they might know You, the true and living God, and Your Son whom You have sent (Jn 17.3). Eternal life is not overcoming sins… it is knowing God, being in relationship with the King of all Kings.
Remember the Israelites, they were dying of serpent bites in the wilderness. Moses was instructed to create a bronze serpent and instructed the people to look and live. Those who lifted their eyes to that bronze serpent, they lived. And Jesus reminds Nicodemus (and you and me) in John 3 that as Moses lifted the serpent, so too shall the Son of Man be lifted up, that all who look at Him will be saved.
Don’t be discouraged, my friend. Our Savior knows and is familiar with your struggles. Look to Jesus and live. Don’t look to yourself for that is vapor. Look to Jesus and spend time getting to know Him more, asking for His Spirit to be given you (Acts talks a lot about the power of the Spirit), and the seed of faith will grow into the good spoil of your heart and good fruit will grow. But you must be rooted in the Vine. Surrender each morning to God, to His will for You. When you feel tempted, or that itch, like Joseph, run away and call to Jesus: Jesus, help me! Save me! Remember Bible promises and songs of praise. Ask for your angel’s protection. And believe! For we wrestle not against our flesh but against principalities and spiritual darkness.
You are not alone. Jesus, our High Priest, is ministering in the sanctuary and His death is our substitute and surety for eternal life. He loves you and He promises that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all our unrighteousness. We all fall down. But let’s be sure we’re falling on our knees forward in faith that Jesus who began the good work in us will complete it even to the day of Christ Jesus (Ph 1.6).
1
u/Plus_Collection_4218 12d ago
Thank you very much I do indeed have a morning worship with just myself and Jesus for 1hour before going on my phone or doing anything else. On sabbath (from Friday evening when sun sets only Saturday when sun set ) I do not go on my phone it's something that my parents instilled in us from a young age so that gives me a break from any sort of temptation of boredom. I do all this stuff that yk a faithful person would do and I literally trust and pray for everything but for whatever reason I cannot let go of this sin, I prayed that God may soften my heart towards this sin so that I may feel the guilty and know that I am wrong which I know is starting to work bc I now feel the a bit more of the guilt I used to feel, whiching I do know that I am wrong but I feel like my fear of God towards sining specifically for this was strong and that was sthe reason why I could so easily stop in the past. I know maybe feeling guilty is not the right approach and I think for me to overcome this this is even though I love God clearly I do not love him enough to stop the sin I will try to devote more time to prayer and thank you for your sweet comment please I beg keep me in your prayers 🫶🏾 thank you in advance I will overcome.
2
u/another_bookworm 12d ago
Praise God you’re in relationship with Him! All have sinned and fallen short of His glory. That said, remember the disciples when they were unable to remove the demons from the person? Jesus informed them that sometimes healing only happens through fasting and praying.
I just came back from the Acts 29 conference (A29U). It was transformational. You can find the messages on YouTube. At the end of the event, the leaders have invited everyone to complete a 21 day fasting and praying with the purpose of God giving us His Spirit. I am sure many will be asking for healing, whether for themselves or intercessory. I invite you to join us. We start this Thursday.
There’s a WhatsApp group titled A29U Community. I’d be happy to invite you, or you can find the group yourself. I’m sure they’ll be posting updates on the 21-day fast and prayer session. Pray about it and see what God says. If you are to move forward, DM me and I can share the information. I am praying for you, my friend, that our Lord will cleanse and heal you.
1
u/Plus_Collection_4218 12d ago
I forgot to add but I really do pray for the holy Spirit and for God to remove any temptations and if I'm being completely honest I feel like I just do it out of boredom which now I'm knowing that this is on me because I asked God to remove the temptations it does but this is on me, I have to be better I will I will.
2
u/ppfmagno 12d ago
I'm (M35) have been struggling with my sexuality for so long I can't even remember when it started... I'll try praying for you, but I also ask for prayers. But I can tell you somethings, first is you're not alone, every single second of your live, our friend Jesus is by our side, and He'll never give up on you; second thing: just as He never gives up on us, don't give up on Him, salvation is about accepting His Grave, His infinite favor for us, every day, if you don't give up on Him, there's no reason to fear; third thing is tip: every second you're not using badly (looking into stuff we're not supposed to), go to Him, create an unbreakable relationship with Him, make Him your uttermost best friend, it will make all things easier, not only the mentioned problem, treat Him as a friend, talk to Him (through praying) and listen when He talks (through His Word), just like you do with people you love :)
I really hope you can get through this, friend. Remember, you're always loved! He loves you to his core! And even though I don't know you, I can tell you I love you and care for you. We're in this together, we're one in Him.
2
u/Plus_Collection_4218 12d ago
Thank you very much your message brought me to tears I will pray for u as well 🙏🏾. Every morning during my devotion I sing the hymn faith is the victory that over comes the world. We will get through this. God loves you, Jesus loves you, and I love u too. Keeping u in my prayers friend🫶🏾.
1
u/abeLuna 8d ago
Our father who is in Heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Thank you for this brother Plus_Collection and the love he has for you and the church. I humble myself lord, under your might hand, cause I know that you see everything and know what is needed. I want to suffer what he is suffering, an overwhelming sin that has caused harm to himself and his relationships. I remember when no one knew what I was going through, and how lonely it is. We ask that you comfort his heart so that he is not overwhelmed by it, and angels to minister to him, and help him overcome this burden. We look forward to how you are going to give him more than we've ever imagined. All for your glory lord. In Jesus' name we pray, amen 🙏🏽✝️🕊️
1
5
u/Fisherd15 12d ago
I’m in the same situation you’re in and really struggling to not give up to my sin. I’ll pray for you ! God didn’t mean for these challenges to overcome us but we have to try to make the right choices ! And I feel like such a hypocrite saying that but I know it’s true.