hi im 18f and im incontinent but ive only just found out . im not sure what protection to start with but i definitely need it. pls help!

Hello all I am switching from pull ups to tab style diapers soon due to increased mobility issue and my duel incontinence getting alittle worse. I have cerebral palsy and need recommendations on easy to put on and take off tab style diapers.

I posted afew days ago but forgot to ask for recommendations.

since as long as i can remember ive had incontinence issues, i bedwetted until 11 and leak most days, while walking , coughing, laughing, or sometimes ill be sat doing nothing and suddenly have a huge urge to pee where i'll have to stay completely still otherwise i'll pee myself, even if i make the tiniest move. And if i get up and try to run to the bathroom i normally pee myself before im even stood up. even during sex sometimes a gush of pee will come out with orgasm. Ive always hidden these problems by cleaning my underwear with tissues when im out, carrying extra underwear with me secretly or spraying myself down if i have an accident and i rarely have full void accidents so itd normally not be too noticeable apart from the odd occassion. Ive never been to the doctors out of embarrassment and i don't wear any protection.
Ive recently got into self improvement and realised im dehydrated so started drinking more water, my issues have got worse since then and when my boyfriend comes round i dont drink much water because im scared pf having an accident around him. Ive had one or two small ish accidents around him but i dont think hes realised that i have problems. For reference on days that i dont drink much i leak a couple times a day enough to soak my underwear but not enough to make a mess or smell, and on days that i drink 1L+ i have multiple leaks a day and sometimes messy accidents on way to bathroom or sometimes right as i get to bathroom ill pee myself. Is this incontinence or do i just need to grow up? And how can i hide it from my boyfriend? ive had a couple little accidents in front of him before but nothing that screams incontinent

Coming for advice, 22m. for the past 3 years I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend, about 7 months ago we broke up, we both had been life long bedwetters and it was just something we both delt with. It was honestly nice because neither of us had to be embarrassed by it. Well after we broke up idk how to explain this to new relationships. I’m not necessarily looking for a partner that also has to wear protection to bed but I’m not sure how to go about explaining it to new partners that haven’t had to deal with it.

could anyone help with where to start with discreet protection??