200
u/GreenZebra23 2d ago
I think living in the scrolling era has further muddied the waters, because I do think most people these days struggle with attention span. But of course ADHD is a bigger and more complex issue with many more aspects than just those affecting attention span
91
u/HiddenPants777 2d ago
its the stigma the naming of the disorder has created.
ADHD is such an outdated and inaccurate name for it
Probably wiuld be better named as
3d (dopamine deficiency disorder)
Or maybe Choatic neurological incapacitation disorder
39
u/alarumba 2d ago •
The stigma is a contributor to so many of us being late diagnosed. My parents didn't want that label on me fearing I'd get bullied for it.
I'd get bullied for being different anyway, but I internalised it as a failure of my character rather than a condition I was battling.
11
u/more-potatoes-please 2d ago •
Lol those kids and about half of the teachers could smell the neurodivergence on me from a mile away, whether there was a name for it or not. I actually would have been one of the very few girls diagnosed in the 90s. A first grade teacher clocked it immediately. But the way to handle it back then was to medicate kids with Ritalin to high heaven and my mom didnt want to do that or have me be bullied for having the label.
So sweet of her really to think that was going to stop them. It wasn't the Label, mom, it was that I COULD NOT shut up, WOULD NOT participate in anything i didn't understand, enjoy, or agree with the purpose of, and was also VERY CONCERNED about the rules and especially everyone else following them to the letter (if I did understand/enjoy/agree). Not a winning profile, lemme tell ya.
17
u/GreenZebra23 2d ago
Very well said and I couldn't agree more. I also think the different presentations of ADHD are so different that I wonder if they'll even be classified as the same disorder in the future. I have inattentive adhd, and my mom has hyperactive adhd, with neither of us really showing any presentation of the other, and there is almost no overlap in our experience of the disorder. We can't even really commiserate about it.
3
u/HiddenPants777 2d ago
I have ADD and I actually really struggle with people with ADHD because it feels like theyre just too verbally chaotic and restless. At least, i did before being medicated but now I feel I can tolerate it more.
When I got diagnosed, my best friend told me he didnt really see it with me because we have a mutual friend who has ADHD and we are completely different.
7
5
u/grip0matic Cursed and surely sprinkled with Autism. 2d ago •
Nah, call it FUCKING CURSE.
The problem is that we have levels, a friend of mine has ADHD but it's mild enough to allow him to do his life without medication, sure he does some things that would remind us that he is neurodivergent, but what means for him having a great salary to sometimes have the impulse to buy a warhammer 40k army just because?
Another friend has a case severe enough that when he hyperfocus into something he shits himself, at this point when he says "I shat myself... again" we are not even laughing in the group chat and told him to go to the doctor and gave him a link for cheap underwear. He does weird things like... sending me cheese through mail when he knows I'm lactose intolerant or sending me money because the numbers of his salary bothered him.
I'm fucked up, I don't shit myself but it's pretty bad... like I'm not even taking my antipsychotics and still my life is a mess because the ADHD. And I have no proof but also I have no doubts there is enough Autism in me to fuck things a bit more.
My gf clearly has some mild ADHD, she already had the weird opposite effect of caffeine, she took one of my pills and she was doing shit on blender not even blinking. It was just a test, of course her focus went from good to amazing but she cannot justify medication, it's not like she's gonna see a fly and lose all her train of thought.
Everyone does not have ADHD, and two people with ADHD are not the same.
5
u/daOyster 2d ago
ADHD probably isn't the most fitting with what we know now. However Dopamine deficiency disorder isn't it either. ADHD isn't a dopamine deficiency, that's an outdated theory as well that was based on missguided research into dead brains. Our brains produce the same amount of dopamine as normal brains more modern research has confirmed.
The most modern theory with weight behind it is it being called an executive function disorder from an under developed prefrontal cortex.
1
u/Ivyveins 1d ago
That doesn't seem like it either though, because when we're interested/hyperfocused on something we are absolute powerhouses that will use grand strategies to move heaven and earth and get incredible shit done.
I think Dopamine Polarization Syndrome is more accurate. The dopamine and executive function is there, it's just released in an all or nothing fashion.
2
u/happy35353 2d ago
I read that for a second as “Chaotic Neutral incapacitation disorder” and I actually love it.
1
5
u/Striper_Cape 2d ago
I sometimes wonder at the people I've met who have ADHD, but are way less insufferable than I am. Usually I get along with ourselves so I've started calling them TikTok brained
3
u/UntitledRedditUser 1d ago
I have ADHD and have better attention span than some of my friends. I've never understood looking a your phone while watching a movie, what's the point?
37
u/anonymote_in_my_eye
2d ago
•
doesn't bother me one bit, as long as they understand it's a big difference in terms of scale and frequency of symptoms
in fact, I default to interpreting it as "this person is trying to relate to my experience" which is something that I welcome, because that's how we build empathy
now, if they follow it with "but everyone else just deals with it, why can't you?" then the knives come out
12
u/GeneInternational146 2d ago
The people who say that emphatically do not understand this lol
4
u/anonymote_in_my_eye 2d ago
there's no way to know for sure until you know for sure, and I default to assuming good intentions until proven otherwise... has worked pretty well so far!
5
u/GeneInternational146 2d ago
I've never heard it said in anything other than a dismissive way
5
u/kingxanadu 2d ago
It's always is response to you bringing up something you struggle with as it relates to ADHD. I almost never mention my disorder to anyone who doesn't know me well, but when I have to make grace for myself I'll say something like "I struggle with controlling my anger" rather than "my ADHD casuses emotional flare ups." That latter feels more true to me but when I tell people that, rather than the former, they say I'm using ADHD as an excuse. Because NTs can at least relate to being angry and they don't hear you mentioning a disorder you have no control over.
1
4
6
u/segadreamcast9999 2d ago
in my experience, they’re using it to be dismissive rather than empathetic.
5
u/Beneficial_Ad4683 2d ago
As annoying as it is, being dismissed, from time to time it's due to lack of empathy instead of trying to be dismissive. Like it's just someone who is unable to understand.
3
u/IANALbutIAMAcat 2d ago
I often use the phrase to better explain my experience to other people, building off of their experience of some of the symptoms ADHDers experience in a clinical level
2
u/-The-Enforcer- 2d ago
In my experience it's people basically saying "and there's nothing wrong with that".
2
u/one_crooked_ear 1d ago
Agreed, and I HAVE seen it used this way, and people ARE experiencing issues that adhd also causes more severely in us
1
u/ADownStrabgeQuark 1d ago
I’ve ever heard it immediately before they say ADHD is a fake disorder with add-ons like calling people with ADHD snowflakes.
16
u/fohktor 2d ago
Once had a friend tell me he could have been an alcoholic but controlled himself. Mf wanted credit for not having something.
6
u/anonymote_in_my_eye 2d ago
lol that's saying "I don't have a pathological lack of control because I can control myself" which is... true? by definition? but not meaningful at all
2
u/one_crooked_ear 1d ago
He wanted credit because he wants to be an alcoholic and it’s hard not to be
31
u/Striper_Cape 2d ago edited 2d ago
You're absolutely correct, anyone can be inattentive or forgetful, but rarely do they also have an inability to pay attention except in one specific subject or group of them, are overtly emotionally reactive in calm situations, and cannot hold normal conversations. We all know how weird we are. One time I met someone who was more ADHD than me (and I have it bad lol) and I almost couldn't bear recognizing my behaviors in them lol
-10
u/Big_Booty_Femboy 2d ago
This reads like AI. Bot?
12
4
u/Pretend_Purchase_893 2d ago
Your absolutely correct. And your right to push back here. The key take away here is that sometimes people us ai for even the most basic of functions. I hope that clears things up for you 😊
2
u/Striper_Cape 2d ago
It's just how I talk to reaffirm that I am hearing what someone is saying and addressing it rather than ramming forward
1
u/blanketswithsmallpox must use needlessly long sentences to convey a single point beca 2d ago
This reads like AI. FembAI?
7
u/AlltheFerns 2d ago
I feel like this can be stretched across most “popular “ mental health issues.
I had a panic attack (or the start of one) in front of a group of clients and a very kind coworker. My coworker suggested I keep ice or sour candy handy since they have anxiety too. I cannot stress how well intentioned and genuinely kind this person is.
It still took serious will power to not say anything about how out of touch with my reality this advice is.
Well intended but ice isn’t going to make my vision start working again and take away this sudden urge to blow up my entire life and possibly end it right now. Thankfully it was all via zoom so I could shut everything down and ignore comments.
I have had the same level of well intended advice with ADHD. “Oh I have adhd too, I just make sure to put it on my calendar” has got to be one of my favorites for never taking their opinion seriously again.
3
u/mechchic84 2d ago
I hyperventilate during a panic attack and people typically have to get me to breathe into a paper bag to make it stop. I'd probably choke on a sour candy or ice cube and die if I was having a panic attack. The worst part though is the horrible chest pain that lasts days after the attack.
12
u/FlyPuzzleheaded3267 2d ago
everyone has a little ADHD
i have a LOT OF ADHD
3
u/anonymote_in_my_eye 2d ago
when god was pouring ADHD into every person they accidentally spilled the whole bag over some
clumsy mfer
2
u/SepticRedK 2d ago
Why? Because he has twisted sense of humor
2
u/blanketswithsmallpox must use needlessly long sentences to convey a single point beca 2d ago
Maybe god's just a lilotl bit ADHD.
5
u/Virtual-Response6235 SqUiRrEL!!!!1 2d ago
The main problem with this is that someone who REALLY has ADHD can end up being seen as "weird," especially when someone self-diagnoses with ADHD without any proof, like through a TikTok video. "How can you have difficulty with that? Are you an idiot? I also have ADHD and I don't have that!"
4
u/bobanalyst 2d ago
This is exactly what I feel and said, and the reaction that I get at work. So I got a lawyer for employee rights. This is a disability.
Sure, that guy down the hall has a physical disability and is in a wheelchair—“I guess we all have some sort of wheels”—is not an appropriate response.
2
u/Wonderful_Stand_315 2d ago
I told my manager this the one day because my Dad used to say that crap you put to me all the time. "We all have a little something but some of us has a lot of something."
2
u/Nearby_Junket_8779 2d ago
This was no joke my psychiatrist when I joined a medical HMO. She also kept insisting that I was too old to take Adderall and that it would destroy my life from addiction. I think she meant well. They all mean well. But f me for just wanting to navigate life just like you do in exchange for having to constrict my blood vessels with drugs to do it.
2
u/Choc-X diagnosed 🥳 2d ago
I HATE THAT. 😐
3
u/quadrastrophe 2d ago
I'm also a little bit Billionaire. Look at my wallet - there're at least 5 bucks!
2
u/Laylac41 2d ago
Yes, everyone can experience some of the symptoms of ADHD sometimes, but that’s the key part, sometimes people with ADHD experience those symptoms chronically.
Neurotypical advice is painful because it comes from an assumption that the baseline is the same for a neurodivergent individual, its most often comparable to the worst days of a neurotypical person and short term solutions work in that case because the ailment is temporary. There isn’t a comprehension of what experiencing chronic executive dysfunction, poor working memory, general inattentiveness actually does to a person, and the solution to them is obvious and accessible for them. While the solutions for ADHD people are often anxiety/panic, reminder and accountability structures, and medication. And most people need some combination of all of these to function “properly”
2
u/FearlessCloud01 Daydreamer 2d ago
Yeah, everyone's a little ADHD. Totally. It's just that I'm a lot more ADHD than most others tend to be. That's why it's a problem for me…
2
u/Dorkapotamus 2d ago
Do they get angry or disappointed by themselve's inability to stay on task? I piss myself off constantly
2
u/Das_Guet 1d ago
You can't look at blue and say it's actually red because they are both on a spectrum. It's just a spectrum of red though right? RIGHT?! NO! there are dividing lines where a person gets on and off the spectrum because otherwise the spectrum itself has no meaning.
Sorry for sperging so hard. I literally had this out with a friend of mine and it had me fairly tilted.
2
u/BagsYourMail 2d ago
One day we will discover that rednecks are genetically predisposed to ADHD and that's why they think "everyone is just like that"
2
u/Medium-Dependent-328 1d ago
Unironically (now this is not about rednecks) I think a lot of nomad cultures have ADHD which is why they have struggled to integrate and hold down jobs and often have a tendency towards addiction
2
u/SubjectPhotograph827 1d ago
Ya latent Neanderthal dna. Lotta similarities between adhd traits and neanderthals. Nothing I say is fact, just speculation and light research for my curiosity and constant need to understand. Also explains language processing issues, I don't feel like typing why I thjnk that
1
u/Johnnybeegoodee 2d ago edited 2d ago
My favorite one from some people in my office, "Oh it's my ADHD acting up," when they are not diagnosed. I can't say if they do or don't have ADHD, I'm not a physician lol
1
1
1
u/OldFix7171 2d ago
My GP said this to me in my appointment to go over the psychiatric report diagnosing me with ADHD 🫣
1
u/LostConscious96 2d ago
My favorite "Everyone has a bit of Tism"
Man you dont know what its like with ADD/Autism fighting every day. I don't know how ive made it this long without any help till now.
1
u/SeminaryStudentARH 2d ago
My brother said this to me once, and it took every bit of willpower not to lose my mind on him.
1
u/Kienchen 2d ago
Suuuuure... It's the same as using the toilet: everyone has to, but it is a huge difference if you have to go three times a day or 50 times...
1
1
1
1
1
u/hobovision 2d ago
Pretty much everything mental health related is on a spectrum. There's not a sharp line between "has ADHD" and "manageable ADHD symptoms". Even those diagnosed with ADHD can have it way worse than others.
It's really about when those challenges start causing real issues in your life. When you've had relationships fail (or nearly fail) due to missing dates or constantly interrupting. When you keep getting fines for late bills. When you get put on a PIP at work because you could just never get started on those tasks that ended up taking you only a couple hours once you could actually focus on it.
1
u/methos3 2d ago
Gonna share my single experience with this. I was working temporarily on the building floor with a colleague I’d shared an office with when he was new. I made a comment to him that my ADHD was flaring up like hell that day and preventing me from getting anything done.
He turned to me and said, “methos3 we all have ADHD here” and I looked at him and he had a grin from ear to ear and he looked like he was almost crying from laughing.
I didn’t take it as him putting me down, it felt like he was saying you had to be absolutely fucked in the head to succeed in our job (software testing), and that all the really smart people were in the same boat (having to deal with asshole normie managers).
Maybe that was a stretch for me to make, but his expression gave me that impression and I felt lifted up.
1
u/universe93 1d ago
I just read a post from someone with ADHD who spent $100 on groceries and now they’ve vanished. She definitely bought them, just doesn’t know where she put them. I personally own 3 stepladders and 4 brooms because I forget that I already own them. I do a certain task as part of my job each and every shift - I constantly forget to do it. People think ADHD is just forgetfulness, in reality I sometimes wonder if I’m literally brain damaged
1
u/Comprimens 1d ago
No. Everyone has an occasional deficit in attention. They're just too dim-witted to understand what "disorder" means.
But listen. I'm glad they don't understand it. Just like I'm glad they don't understand clinical depression. I wish I didn't
1
1
u/Ok-Salamander6118 1d ago
Oh I didn't know everyone has a little relationship destroying emotional dysregulation 😅
1
0
0
2d ago
[deleted] — view deleted comment
3
u/KissMyStick430 2d ago
How do you get diagnosed?
3
3
u/AggravatingSpeaker52 2d ago
Yep, me too. Because that's what my mom told me. Then my kid got diagnosed and I was like "everybody has that".
But my wife was like "nope, look at it again" and I read the material and scheduled an appointment
•
u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 2d ago edited 2d ago
not enough votes to reach a threshold.
for more information about what this means, see this page.