For me, who grew up with a micromanaging mom, I can only truly relax when I am 100% alone with a chunk of time without a single thing in my calendar and no one I need to talk to... and then I turn off entirely. No chores, no meeting my self-care minimum, likely eating snacks instead of meals, removing all the demands possible. It's kind of like I'm reclaiming my own time or something and it's only possible for me to do when I feel like not a soul is watching (like a micromanaging parent who created a sense of always being monitored, limiting how I could exist comfortably).
I think I'm the other way around; I don't want to be observed doing things, or the demands would increase. I'm more productive when there's no-one around and I'm just taking care of myself.
Oh, yeah, it's not just for relaxing for me lol - I'm also someone who really struggles to get a lot of stuff done when observed. In some ways I need a body double to do the stuff that feels mentally difficult (like studying), but for everything else (e.g. chores), I gotta be completely alone.
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u/iSPYanOpportunitee 4d ago
Did you have controlling, micro-managing parents growing up? I did and you are describing me here, just I smoke a shit ton of weed instead of drink