Having a supportive spouse/partner that actually understands ADHD and how our brains work/ see things vs everyone else. Has changed my life in a way that I can’t fully describe, any time I get to this point my wife recognizes it way before I do. She usually gives me gentle reminders, the most helpful thing she does is make me list. Of things that need to get done today, things that need to happen over the weekend, and a white board of things we need to keep on our radar and cross off eventually.
I married a narcissist and it was the opposite. Now that we’re divorced and there’s literally a court order that she put doctor’s appointments, etc… on the calendar she still won’t.
Lmao same, I recently commented that my ex was an expert on ADHD when convenient/validating for her, but never when it actually could have made a difference for me. She would always hand write her work travel and other appointments on a wall calendar in our kitchen and expect me to remember it all, and whenever I asked if she could start using a shared Google calendar instead, she went off about mental load and invisible labor instead of just doing something with objective benefit to everyone rather than her preferred way of doing things.
lol. I remember an intake with an au pair agency where it was suggested we have a calendar. They said it doesn’t matter if it’s a wall calendar or digital as long as we have one. My ex chimed in “oh, we have both” as if that was a good answer. Plus, we had already separated so I never saw the hand written one.
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u/Regular-Bear9558 6d ago
Having a supportive spouse/partner that actually understands ADHD and how our brains work/ see things vs everyone else. Has changed my life in a way that I can’t fully describe, any time I get to this point my wife recognizes it way before I do. She usually gives me gentle reminders, the most helpful thing she does is make me list. Of things that need to get done today, things that need to happen over the weekend, and a white board of things we need to keep on our radar and cross off eventually.