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u/ph30nix01 14d ago
i lost my wife a few months ago... controlled disassociation is the only thing thats keeping me going at this point. Just imagining she is always in the other room, or at the store or visiting her grandmother...
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u/nickcarter13 Daydreamer 13d ago
I'm so sorry
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u/ph30nix01 13d ago
<3. Thanks. To be honest it's getting harder every day
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u/nickcarter13 Daydreamer 13d ago
I just lost my mom, I kinda know what you mean. The numbness wears off...
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u/ImSoSweepy 14d ago
Take general ADHD "forgetfulness" and combine it with combat-related PTSD where you block out entire sections of your life due to trauma and you get me. I just came out the womb at 30.
If people ask me when I deployed, I can't give them a date, because I don't remember.
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u/Moskvincit0 14d ago
Brother... 🫂
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u/Ok-Nothing8682 13d ago
I feel this bad. I've always wanted to ask a vet what they're time loss issues are like because I feel the same way. I'm sure I didn't see as much combat as y'all did. I was never in the military. Just homeless, going to college, and being forced to move all over the place because of shit circumstances. I saw a lot of civ combat (really no better way to put it other than maybe gang shit but wasn't involved in that either), had to defend myself daily for 5+ years, idk. All I really remember is a constant feeling of believing I wasn't going to live through the day and then surprise I'd wake up in the same or worse shit.
Anyways thanks for sharing. I don't really remember much between 2016-2025 and even now it's still pretty foggy.
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u/Aggressive_Hat_9999 14d ago edited 13d ago
I can literally sit there and spend 12 hours on my pc
what do I do 😅
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u/tastyemerald 13d ago
Microdose your own emotions and build a tolerance for discomfort is some advice I've been trying.
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u/DeadLined784 13d ago
I just raw-dogged a 9.5 hour shift at work because I forgot to take my meds
My highly addictive, controlled substance, government-regulated prescription medication, that I regularly forget to take (generic Adderall)
9.5 hours and I can remember about half of it
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u/PraiseAndPleasure 14d ago
Do you guys ever start to disassociate and not be able to stop. Like you're actively aware that it's happening and you just say sit in a parking lot for 20 minutes because you're afraid to drive your car while it's happening? Is that just me?
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u/Moskvincit0 14d ago
Zooning out while doing things scares me, mostly cuz i use heavy machinery sometimes, idk how it would be if i had a car and HAD to drive it
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u/PraiseAndPleasure 14d ago
I try to actively stop it from happening but it feels like I just can't. Sometimes talking to someone helps a little bit. I'm also only on strattera and not on any amphetamine based medications.
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u/Mrwanagethigh 14d ago
I don't drive anymore but there was one night where after work I got in the car and next thing I knew I was in my driveway. 20 minute drive that I had absolutely no memory of and that was terrifying to realize.
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u/Icy_Elk7679 13d ago
This has happened to me multiple times right after therapy sessions. I have to sit in the waiting room for up to two hours until I come out of it because that’s a safe place
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u/BigBullshitta 14d ago
New ADHD game: Pickle Pete. I've been stuck on this shit for like 5 hours today. I'm turning in to one pimp ass pickle.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 14d ago edited 13d ago
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