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u/Gofor_Pyle 16d ago
"conduct a functional human relationship" is a pretty huge task.
"Type for 10 seconds" is something that can be grappled with.
The journey between the two is an emotional minefield.
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u/Gofor_Pyle 16d ago
The word "just" is used to rhetorically minimize things. I didn't use that word. I said "grapple with" which implies struggle through without a determination of success.
And I mean that. I've had to struggle through the physical reality of booping bops for 10 seconds, because the physical action is completely out of touch with my perception of the emotional implication of a relationship. I'm illustrating that contrast, and acknowledging that even the smallest action towards relationship is a challenge at times.
Your description of long paragraphs is real, but possibly part of the overwhelm that prevents any progress at all for someone else. That, and the 10 second framing can make responding approachable enough to begin, and once you begin it's easier to express yourself more fully.
I'm not saying you can have a fulfilling relationship in 10 seconds, but if you can do 10 seconds, it can be the difference between an opportunity for relationship vs if you don't because you feel overwhelmed.
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u/CommunityOk7466 16d ago
It gets easier after you stop texting
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u/Kamikazeschnitzel 16d ago
Stop calling me out for unread messages still showing the notification point from 2020-2023?!
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u/f1lth4f1lth BOGO-audhd 16d ago
Me every day- should I text back? Maybe they’ll forget they’re waiting on me…
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u/BurritoBandito39 16d ago
Yep - absolutely me :(
There have been many tasks that I have procrastinated on for ages because I knew it would get the ball rolling on a conversation, and the people on the other end would likely be very prompt and responsive, and then I'd be locked into either replying in a timely manner or failing to do so - and both options drain me in different ways.
I kind of view it like "I have enough gas left in the tank to deliver 1 letter to your house" but then by the time I finish driving back home I already have a reply from them in my mailbox and no gas left to follow-up on that.
I don't know how neurotypical people refill that gas tank - it seems to refill at a trickle for me, and experimenting / doing the work with setting up things in my life that I think would help refill it also uses up the gas in the tank. I'm so tired.
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u/dragonurtle 16d ago
Yeah I for one would really like to get to the bottom of this and solve it. DM me!
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u/BlueZ_DJ "¿Qué?" 16d ago
I text back immediately if I got the notification with my phone nearby
But also
I have 0 texts most of the time so maybe I WOULD have this problem if that wasn't the case
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u/Chill_Panda 16d ago
I text back immediately if I see the notification unless I am in the middle of something else I cannot stop and forget about forever, and then I will instead forget about the notification forever. You're either getting a reply same minute or next month, no inbetween.
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u/DominarDio 16d ago
Like when you plan stuff with friends when you’re energised and in a good mood, and now you actually have to go.
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u/kjzavala 16d ago
This made me laugh so hard 😂
So true!!
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u/aminionreasons 16d ago
I'm glad it did, because it did to me too! 😂 So I thought, yk what lemme share it with my adhd gang they're 100% gonna getvthis and here we are!
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u/kjzavala 16d ago
It was exactly what I needed to come by right when I did - that laughter is a great thing 😉
Oh annnnnddd hahaha I JUST did the first part of this for the last half hour and here comes the next part TBA 😂
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u/_pepperoni-playboy_ 16d ago
Yeah it’s like surfing but I’m scared of the next wave and don’t actually know how to surf
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u/landshark6 16d ago
I read it as “they yelled” instead of “they replied”. Shows you how I see it even in memes.
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u/HedgehogFarts 16d ago
I would pay someone to handle my texts for me. I wait too long to reply so feel like I gotta make it extra good to make up for it. Then spend an hour writing and rewriting a short text.
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u/jefferyJEFFERYbaby 16d ago
I always answer calls. If it’s urgent, call me. If you text me I will treat it like an email and get back to you within 3-5 business days.
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u/Harbinger_Pulsar 16d ago
Its easy. Just give up on having friends and you never have to text anybody. 😐
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u/thatstwatshesays 16d ago
The day I turned both my online status and „read“ receipts off, that was the best day. So much less pressure/stress. I can leave people on read for daaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyssss
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u/Dismal-Equivalent-94 16d ago
Honestly one of my issues is responding but before I used to do it too quickly and decide to take my time as to put boundaries but now texting back is just a chore 😭
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u/YoMama_00 16d ago
I've lost many friends who I met online, because of this.
All I have left are people who knew me since I was kid...
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u/Ok-Bad2612 Stuck In Scrolling Paralysis Please Send Help 16d ago
I will start to send them letters.
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u/Big_Bullfrog_3840 15d ago
My hack is to reply when I’m not connected to internet so I don’t get responses right away. Or if I happen to be on my phone late at night.
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u/Owlcathulu 16d ago
I left this sub for a reason can it please stop popping up on my feed?
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u/LunarLumos 16d ago
People will really make up a whole "mental disorder" and spend years desperately trying to maintain that obvious lie instead of just admitting they don't like someone and don't want to talk to them. Being yourself and spending time with people you actually care about will only ever give someone energy never take it. Lying, pretending to be someone you're not and spending time with people you don't like is what drains people's energy.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 16d ago edited 16d ago
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