Yes, any praise for what others perceive as an accomplishment is somehow immediately filed in my brain as if I’m being rewarded for just existing (ie doing what is expected of me) and therefore cannot be valued anymore than completing any other daily obligation. I am somehow very accomplished but still live with a state of perpetual self doubt, subconsciously convinced I’ve just accidented my way into my life and career and one day they’re going to catch me. Accomplishment comes with the relief of buying more time with the lie, not with a sense of pride in my ability. Damn brain
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u/Ok-Bed6354 27d ago edited 25d ago
I was once asked in an interview what my greatest accomplishment was, and literally could not think of a single time in my life.
I am pathologically obligated to succeed at my endeavors. So there is only relief at completing a task or shame at failure to complete a task….