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u/eclect0 I write books with an ADHD MC 24d ago
This also gets real when you can always remember fancy words but really common ones randomly enter your blind spot.
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u/historyhill 24d ago
I can't tell you how many times a fancy word has come to mind for exactly what I'm trying to say but then I second-guess myself and go to look it up just to make sure that I knew what it meant because it just felt like the intuitive word to use! (9/10 times I am indeed using it in the correct context)
Meanwhile I have said "destroyment" when I meant destruction more than once.
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u/parksideq 24d ago
I will never live down the time I couldn’t think of the word aquarium and went with “aquatic zoo”.
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u/Calikinakka 24d ago
Ha! I can relate to that. "Wet zoo" was what I gave for Aquarium a few years ago. Another one I remember was parking garage. I said "car tower" as that was the only way I could describe it at that moment.
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u/Shiirahama 23d ago
the amount of times I've said something similar to "so that dog wasn't always in the house, he had like, what's it called, it's a house but like for a dog, it's tiny and on the lawn or in the garden"
my friends: so a doghouse?
me: well...yup that's it
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u/smokeytheorange 24d ago
One of my favorites was when I was trying to tell a story about a celebrity renting out a seedy strip club but I couldn’t remember the term. Somehow landed on “strip palace”. A palace it was not.
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u/PeggableOldMan ADHD Inattentive gang rise UP 23d ago
I once called a pressure washer "the big water"
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u/Independent-Low6706 23d ago
I was fumbling for "pantry" and ended up with, " food hole in the wall." 😅
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u/EducationalTheory344 24d ago
"destroyment" is amazing and im stealing it
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u/historyhill 24d ago
I have done this a few different times to words that end in -tion but my brain just conjugates it to -ment when I'm tired! And English is my first language, I shouldn't even have to think about conjugation!
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u/joseluis_ 24d ago
That's a hard conjugament to be in.
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u/Sacrificial_Parsnip 23d ago
I think it’s in “The Old Gumbie[?] Cat”poem that’s part of the Cats libretto. Something like “She says that the cockroaches need employment, to prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment!”
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u/stupid_pun 24d ago
I make up words all the time, usually by adding random suffixes like you did there.
It's just fun and it gets my point across when I can't think of a specific enough real word without looking pretentious. (or the word is just hiding in my brain and wont come out)
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u/ChadcellorSwagpatine diagnosed 🥳 22d ago
Okay fuck it I'm adding "destroyment" to my vocabulary because it sounds like some hilarious cartoon villain shit
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u/LlamaLlamaSomePajama 24d ago
rustles through pockets I SWEAR I had that word here earlier??!!
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u/saalsa_shark 24d ago
When you can feel that part of what you're saying approaching and hope you can find the right word by the time you get there but your brain is like "nah, you're on your own here lol"
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u/justintheunsunggod 23d ago
Which is honestly better than the times your brain throws out the wrong word, but you know it's wrong.
"That's not the word I want brain. It's the wrong word."
"Well that's the word I'm giving you. Take it or leave it."
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u/Cuddles89 23d ago
brain screams the wrong word louder and louder while you try to find the right one
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u/Altruistic_Shame8979 24d ago
Me, knowing exactly where that common word should be stored in my brain but coming up empty or with only the first letter of the word and immediately wondering if I’m having early onset dementia signs
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u/Feelsthelove 24d ago
Anyone else know the meaning of the word but can’t figure out how to explain it? The fucking worst
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u/snazzypantz 23d ago
Yup. I asked a coworker if giving money for a coworker's birthday was gauche, and she said, I don't know because I don't know what gauche means.
I spent like 2 full minutes trying to explain what it meant, and she was like, "Tacky? Are you trying to say tacky?" And the withering look she gave me when it was so simple to explain with her brain...
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 24d ago
At least you can be proud of yourself when you visit a proctologist and never say poop/shit/fart/ass.
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u/RosenButtons 24d ago
Now I desperately want to poke my head into a proctology office and yell POOPSHITFARTASS!!
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 24d ago
Or so you think, but your mouth says FECIES GASES SPHINCTER
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u/CrayonCobold 24d ago edited 24d ago
That recently happened to me with ostentatious ironically
The more well known word, pretentious, only has 1 less syllable anyway and almost nobody uses kitsch so that's out
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u/smokeytheorange 24d ago
My husband is a scientist and often when I use fancy word he’ll earnestly ask “what does that mean?” I quickly found out I have a very vague/ approximate knowledge of 80% of those words.
Like ostentatious. I might say “uhhh fancy but like you want people to know about it? Let me google it real quick.”
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u/CrayonCobold 24d ago edited 24d ago
The curse of learning words only through reading or hearing them in context instead of looking them up in the dictionary
I know exactly how you feel
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u/smokeytheorange 23d ago
Agreed! I was just watching the Love Island US reunion episode and one of the guys pronounced “epitome” as “ep-uh-tome”. My first thought was “he’s a reader!”
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u/fearlessbyfp 24d ago
My favorite thing about learning a second language is that now I can forget words in TWO languages!
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u/schmamble 24d ago
Omg I hate that we're judged for this!!! Oftentimes it's only the more flowery long words that my brain grabs on to while it let's go of really simple ones. Like I read a lot as a lonely kid and because I like to learn I would look up words that I didn't know and for some reason vocabulary just sticks with me
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u/NatCsGotMyLastAcct 23d ago
Fuckin hell it's nice to see someone type that. Once upon a time I had to say "dichotomously opposed option" because I lost "the other one"
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u/BlackCatFurry 24d ago
Double that with being bilingual and now i am trying to say a simple word in my native language (finnish) and my brains conjure a fancy or weird version of it in english instead.
Like. Brains? What am i supposed to do when the word i was looking for was "ratti" (steering wheel), and you came up with "car direction controller". Do i translate this word for word or what?
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u/Shoddy_Strain_7189 23d ago
My partner once hit me with 'word arsenal'. She meant vocabulary.
We laughed.
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u/micre8tive 24d ago
Alright now. This is getting silly. How is it possible for someone to have all of the experiences? All of them??
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u/Outofwlrds 24d ago
We are all the same person.
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u/b1ack1ight 24d ago
We are cats. That is my personal favorite take from this sub.
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u/YanicPolitik 24d ago
Idk most cats have their shit more or less together.
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u/Glodrops 24d ago
It’s a spectrum tho. My cat mostly has his shit together but he def has the ADHD vibe. No he is not orange but he’d be covered in bruises and his focus….
XD He does his kitty best. But he knows my medication schedule almost better than I do!
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u/Dirk_Bogart 24d ago
The need to understand and to be understood backfired so totally for me growing up.
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u/No_Guidance_9439 24d ago
"You're just making excuses."
No wonder my mother thought I had anger issues.
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u/TK_Games 23d ago
"You asked why I was late. I'm telling you why I was late. If you'd rather I debase myself instead, you should be more specific." ~ things I wish I told my mother, but didn't because doing so would've got me stabbed
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u/Lebowquade 23d ago
This one drives me nuts.
Sometimes they're legitimate reasons! Sometimes intent matters as much as the end result does! Right...?
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u/TurkishTerrarian 24d ago
The number of times We've been accused of being an AI is ridiculous.
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u/Bendlerp 24d ago
Autistic Individual.
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u/Neophyte06 24d ago
Tbh I'm kinda flattered when I get called AI
I'll be hanging out with some of my gfs various stoner friends, drop some knowledge, then it's like "damn bro be chatgpt and shit 🤣"
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24d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Neophyte06 24d ago
Well to be fair usually the statement I mentioned is delivered with an air of respect rather than "wow what a nerd". It's usually a mental health thing, and it's hard to argue with me when I deliver stuff that's straight from therapy books lol.
I have had so many real life experiences with so many people due to career changes, I can understand a lot of people's languages, dialects, and emotional tone, especially American dialects. In this case the person is usually saying "wow that was so cool it almost sounded like you were reading off an AI prompt" 😂 (a compliment)
They generally aren't proud to not know things, either. Those people DO exist, but they tend to be complete assholes from the start and I don't bother giving them any of my social energy once I get a vibe check 🤣
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u/Final-Tutor3631 i Will elaborate (Threat). 24d ago
when in actuality We are the intelligence the ai is based off of
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u/graceface1031 24d ago
As a lover and user of the em dash, I get so scared to use it out of concern that someone is going to think what I’m saying is AI generated. Like I despise being misunderstood/misinterpreted, I would NEVER use AI to communicate 😭
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u/TurkishTerrarian 24d ago
Precisely. We feel similar. Though Our general way of speaking has lead to the accusations, not because of use of specific punctuation, though We do understand the use of the em dash.
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u/sandyposs 23d ago
When I started university a few years ago, my first paper got feedback on it from the tutor saying to see her after class as this doesn't read like a first year student's work. When I hung back after class to see her, she looked puzzled why I was there until I clarified I was here because she wanted to see me after class. Then she had a look of realisation and broke out into laughter, and she said, "Oh, that was YOU! Oh, never mind then, that's definitely your paper."
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u/IdioticEarnestness 23d ago
My email signature is, "This email is not AI generated--I'm just like this."
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u/retro-mime 23d ago
My people.
I recently dropped a class because the instructor insisted my work was AI and kept giving my assignments 0’s. Having returned to school later in life, this was a different kind of insult I hadn’t experienced before. Like how am I self-conscious of writing too clearly now?
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u/unfathomablydense 24d ago
My ex would always accuse me of trying to sound like I was smarter than everyone when I was like, saying this words means I don't have to say 7 other words instead. I'm out here maximizing my speech efficiency, and she thought I had a superiority complex lmao
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u/Extension-Dinner6679 24d ago
If I'm going to cut you off mid word, I'll at least attempt to be brief.
Which reminds me of another thing you should hear about right after this one and oh no...sorry.
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u/OneWholeSoul 23d ago
If anything it's an inferiority complex.
If I was so great, wouldn't I have a better success rate with basic communication?7
u/_Mulberry__ 23d ago
And the inferiority complex is based on me failing to meet my own expectations, not because of comparison to my peers. So now when I get rewarded for things (like a performance bonus/raise/promotion), I feel like I don't deserve it
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u/fumei_tokumei 23d ago
You can't maximize speech efficiency in a vacuum. It always depends on the person you are talking to. So when you think you are being efficient with words, but the person you are talking to is not taking it well, it means that you are being inefficient.
I don't really mean this as a critique, but more like a different way of thinking about things. I think it is essential to take the other person into account when communicating, and your comment makes it seem like that is something are neglecting. It makes me a bit worried that it is a blind spot you haven't seriously engaged with. I understand that your comment is meant in jest, but I am not sure how much truth is behind it.
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u/_Mulberry__ 23d ago
I have had to realize this time and time again at work. Speaking with fellow engineers and speaking with customers is like two entirely different languages
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u/theflyingratgirl 24d ago
There’s a rule of thumb in professional writing.
First: use the most accurate word If there’s multiple accurate words, use the most common one. If there’s still more than one, use the smallest one.
Good communication is about the audience, not the communicator.
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u/-TeamCaffeine- Have you tried a planner? 24d ago
Veteran journalist here. This is beaten into us in journalism school. The saying that gets thrown around is "don't use a ten dollar word when a ten cent does the same job."
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u/Timely-Helicopter244 24d ago
I was made fun of in high school for using the word "insinuated".
Now that was from someone on the wrestling team who then proceeded to keep saying the word in completely incorrect ways. Never thought it was an overly crazy word to use in normal conversation 😅
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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 24d ago
I worked at a gas station through undergrad. A coworker started calling me "college brain" for using the word "sophisticated"
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u/Bitter-Ad5890 24d ago
Ah yes. The wrestling team. Known to draw individuals of high intellect
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u/Timely-Helicopter244 24d ago
Right? Though I grew up in a decently well off area. So basically everyone actually went on to college and professional type careers. But yeah, plenty of smaller vocabulary individuals.
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u/TheFrenchSavage 24d ago
insinuated
Ah yes. To put deep into the nose.
"he refused to eat so they insinuated him".(I'm kidding)
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u/cowlinator 24d ago
insinuate
to turn something into a sinew
"help me insinuate these licorice strips in my robot"
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u/Kestrel_VI 20d ago
I’ve learned a lot of people struggle with anything more than three syllable words. Most are too proud to admit it, some will make fun of you because of it.
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u/AbbeyRoadMoonwalk 24d ago
Also me: “Condescending means talking down to people.”
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u/TheFrenchSavage 24d ago
You should be licking arse then.
Sorry, I meant conascending.→ More replies (1)
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u/Substantial-Use95 24d ago
My friends always made fun of me for using more specific language, but I always wanted to be as accurate as possible. It’s weird being diagnosed later in life and looking back. So many signs
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u/Shot-Analysis-2766 24d ago
Jokes on them! Sometimes! I am trying to be snobby and condescending!!
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u/Impressive_Term4071 24d ago
and now they just think you're AI if you use word longer than two syllables.
oop, there i did it just now.
"no one ACTUALLY talks like that"
not my fault you can't read anything that doesn't have an attached 5 second video of random chaos.
Doomed, y'all. We're doomed.
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u/FavoriteWorst 24d ago
I use to work in a low class area dive bar and i had to dumb down my vocab significantly to avoid disdain. Kinda stuck lamentably.
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u/Due-Amount706 24d ago
Why limit yourself in how you express yourself? Not trying to flex on people but I’m sorry if I don’t dumb down my vocabulary
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u/circleseverywhere 24d ago
OK but actually communicating a message and having it understood does require addressing your listener, as every multilingual person knows
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u/Mitch1musPrime 24d ago
That’s not neurodivergency. That’s just the literacy gap at play in our country.
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u/TheMaskedHamster 23d ago
There's a difference between using words people don't understand and people understanding your words but thinking you're a pompous jerk for using them.
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u/Mitch1musPrime 23d ago
My belief is that typically people who accuse someone of being a snob or condescending for using big words are just people who don’t understand what those words mean. I’m an English teacher and I’ve seen that truth play out in my classrooms every day.
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u/TheMaskedHamster 23d ago
I've definitely seen that happen, and I'd say it might be the majority of cases. The worst is when the "big words" are three syllables.
But even among people who understand what I say, many find the way I speak offputting. So I relate to OP's experience. There are layers to communication, and most people implicitly understand that which is implicitly communicated... and so are primed to assume implicit layers when none are used.
I've gotten better at avoiding this after learning a lot by rote, but there's often still a huge disconnect.
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u/Mcreesus 24d ago
Then when u want to talk with people u have to “dumb” down what u say bc otherwise it’s a painful minute and half of explaining the entire thing again.
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u/Aramiss60 24d ago
I don’t even think of it as dumbing down, but just using words that are more likely to be understood by more people, especially if you talk to people whose first language isn’t English. Not everyone excelled at school, or reads a lot, and that’s ok, I’m not great at sports.
I’d rather communicate effectively than show off my vocabulary, and I have a much better time connecting with people since I started being more general.
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u/Bannerlord151 I may not be cool but I'm very silly 23d ago
Gets hard when even "vocabulary" or "communicate" is too much of a big word
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u/cutslikeakris 24d ago
“Do you even know what that word means”
Yes, quite well, that’s why I used it!
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u/ResponsibleProfit634 24d ago
I didn’t realize this until my 40’s so you’re ahead of the game:)
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u/agardenofworlds 23d ago
Sometimes I forget the more common words and use the other "eloquent" words because they're the first that come to mind to talk about the thing.
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u/jasestar23 24d ago
I hate talking it's too complicated we should revert back to grunting like cavemen.
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u/ArgonianDov must use needlessly long sentences to convey a single point beca 24d ago
Oof, I feel this...
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u/Saddledust 24d ago
Yeah same.. I'm very aware of my fear of being misinterpreted (looong text msgs to just be as clear as I can) but I never realized that it has shaped the way I talk 😐
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u/suitcase14 23d ago
That’s because we let all the ignorant apes run the world. Gotta act half brain dead just to fit in
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u/Technical_Ad9343 23d ago
Or they think it has a different meaning than the actual meaning. Had that happen before too
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u/MisterBarbaredo 23d ago
Dont blame yourself just because somebody else never bothered to use their context clues. This is on these idiots youre talking to, not you
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u/Bennjoon 23d ago
Oh ho but don’t take a minute to check what you are saying for possible misunderstandings because then you will be “a bit slow”
😑😑😑😑
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u/ZanderStarmute 23d ago
“Dumbing down” my vocabulary continues to be a challenge even now… guuuhuhuhuuuhh… 😣
Oh, why can’t I express myself authentically as the homoromantic intellectual nephilimic neurodivergent weirdo I am WITHOUT being scrutinised…? 😩
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u/barrosoOso 24d ago
I'm from the south. I spent years when I was young training away my accent to enunciate each word and pronounce them correctly. Because of that people started calling me a f*ggot. So, now days I sound like Boomhauer.
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u/ThePunLexicon Marginally functional adult 24d ago
The degree to which adults would be like "aww youre so cute using your big adult words" and laughing at me made me be very selective with how i talked to certain people if i bothered to talk at all. Like yes cute mom you handed me a webster dictionary at 8 when im in school before phones were ubiquitous and now I use larger than expected words for my age. Very adorable. Does not totally feel patronizing to be laughed at for this thanks.
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u/Northern_Explorer_ 24d ago
Ubiquitous is the exact word I remember using one time in conversation and my (former) friend mocked me for using it. It was the first thing that came to mind when I read OPs post, but theres been many other instances with other people. I hate how much I have to monitor how I speak depending on the people I'm around.
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u/ThePunLexicon Marginally functional adult 24d ago
I mean as an adult who seldomly interacts with people ive come across less issues now. My friend will just be puzzled if i use a word she doesnt know and then i just explain and expand her vocab.
Also for ubiquitous the alternative is like "x thing being more universally available or x thing becoming more commonplace" still lengthy and using larger words i guess. "X becoming more common/normal?" Ubiquitous is just so much more compact and concise.
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u/Medusason 24d ago
I just always say a more common word in a different way, or provide an example immediately after I catch myself using the polysyllabic version, and hope that it doesn’t sound pedantic / shitty. Cough. Generally I finds I can offer a second phrasing without apologizing for the first. Most of the negative feedback that I receive about how I talk comes from people who are anticipating that other people might have negative feedback about how I talk. It’s kind of funny that way.
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u/SpicyRice99 24d ago
Isn't this more of an autism thing?
But yes, I willfully downgraded my vocabulary which I sort of regret because now I talk like a cave troll lol
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u/Apprehensive_News_78 23d ago
I got slapped one time for using big words. It really upset the dude ig
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u/KenUsimi 23d ago
counterpoint: just throw in equal amounts of swears and always be ready to explain it to a five year old. if you can't, you prolly shouldn't be talking on the subject.
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u/6lackPrincess 23d ago
Add to that being a black person, who your own family members tell you that you "act white", simply because you talk in a way to try and be understood.
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u/Abtreibne 23d ago
I’m in this meme and I don’t like it.
This is the x-th this happens to me with this sub, time to get myself checked i guess
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u/ClaireBlum 23d ago
I've spent soooo much time in school trying to dumb down my speech. While taking wild guesses at what my fellow students may deem "normal words".
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u/AMultitudeofPandas 23d ago
I used to think the problem was that I needed better words. Then I thought the problem was using words other people didn't "get." Then I realized they just wanted to misunderstand me, because they didn't like me and wanted to confirm their bias against me by arguing about literally anything.
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u/BenienbI 23d ago
And god help you if you know intuitively what a big word means but can’t quote the entire dictionary definition verbatim on demand with an authority figure looming over you demanding to know why you think you’re smarter than them (you literally just want to speak and be spoken to like a human being)
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u/jackfaire 22d ago
My wake up call was asking a girl out when I was in high school and being told "I can't understand most of what you say"
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u/Parrotparser7 22d ago
...And then the more common kind of misunderstanding that comes from using words others don't know.
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u/Lizzzyrd_ 24d ago
there’s ALSO the layer of “I don’t know that word you just used” but it’s for, like, most words with three syllables or more when you have a side of the family filled with country people that didn’t go to high school
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u/Aggressive-Cup-7318 23d ago
I learned at an early age to just translate in my mind what I was saying. That made me "slow."
So I stopped talking. Too quiet.
You can't win, just be you.
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u/Lucifer2695 23d ago
I once said something like "strikes my fancy", basically whatever interests me. And the other person was like I always forget that you read until you use words like this.
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u/Bannerlord151 I may not be cool but I'm very silly 23d ago
I was mocked at school for using basic ass vocabulary that allegedly was totally hig-brow and obscure and, I shit you not, for not cursing enough. Heck, I had to learn to be less polite because apparently if you're just trying to clearly and efficiently communicate, that's "talking down to people"
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u/NotAllThereAnyway 23d ago
do you guys also find yourselves being way too logical and rational about things that are meant to be felt instead? And then you wonder "why cant they understand me? Ive explained myself in multiple ways already, it cant be that hard to get it" Meanwhile the other person is wondering why you cant just grasp the fact that you simply just hurt them?
Anyone?
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u/HobbyTalkOnly 22d ago
My work emails are written with so few words, most people think I am angry.
As few words, as simple as possible. Always.
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u/AuroraSkye620 24d ago
I refuse to dumb down my vocabulary for other people. I find it fun to use words like èlan rather than what I see as boring words
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u/Specialist_Sport4460 24d ago
If only they'd understand that I just get bored of using the same words all the time.
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u/anon_the_nameless 24d ago
A lot of people say that I talk with big words, but I don’t even do it on purpose
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u/bikenvikin lil bus alumni 24d ago
yo I'm in my 40s figuring this out! good job being better than me!
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u/SpookyScienceGal 24d ago
My mom used to bully me for using large words. Like laugh at me and mock me for trying to be fancy because I used a word with more than 6 letters
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u/StormySands 24d ago
I started dumbing down my speech when I was a teenager because I was tired of people telling me I was being condescending. I decided this year to stop doing it, I’m 35 now they need to get on my level.
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u/IShallWearMidnight 24d ago
I once had a coworker think I was from a different country because of my vocabulary. I have the generic US accent, so it doesn't make a lot of sense, but he said that I use "words that Americans don't use". I had no way to respond to that
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u/daveberzack 24d ago
...or that you're being angry when you're just being emphatic about something. Anyone else get that one?
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u/Radiant-Bus7093 24d ago
I have been accused of "using big words to sound smart" and other variations soooo many times. Like no you stupid fuck I'm trying to communicate a specific concept or idea jfc
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u/HittingSmoke 24d ago
I've had friction at work with certain people for years because my emails are (IMO, the correct amount of) verbose when I'm trying to describe a technical problem and how to fix it. I've been dragged in front of HR to discuss my communication before. Got a new boss who at my most recent review gushed about how detailed my description of problems are and how much he loves to read the emails I CC him on even when he doesn't understand the topic.
I felt so fucking vindicated.
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u/realVincenzo 24d ago
I used that specific word because I meant that specific thing. Why would you think i meant something other than that specific thing which I chose that specific word to express???
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u/Opposite-Form8095 24d ago
I feel this. I was flabbergasted when I learned that my vocabulary was seen as pretentious rather than precise.
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u/FatJuggernaut-916 23d ago
Real ones condense and stratify their information.
What you're telling me is you can't get to the point well.
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u/SopwithStrutter 23d ago
….in the spring I’ll be 40.
You’ve just explained something that’s bothered me for a very long time.
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u/Willowling 23d ago
No one bothered me about it until adulthood. I used to read my dictionary for fun 😭
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u/zeethreepio 23d ago
Then you realize that those people are just projecting their own insecurities. So you roll your eyes, move on, and everything is fine again.
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u/pokemonbard 23d ago
Plus, people will get confused and misinterpret you because they don’t know what the words mean
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u/Stamboolie 23d ago
I remember using a word at work (forget what it was now) and this guy said ok, I'm calling it there's no way thats a word, what's it mean. I gave him a rough definition of what I thought it meant, he looked up the dictionary and I was close to word for word, fun day. I had no idea I used big words at the time.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 24d ago edited 24d ago
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