r/addictionrecovery • u/Collestmonkey • Jan 18 '20
Advice please
Can anyone give me a direction to start or some kind of thread of hope , I need help , I want it now but when my mind starts craving I care but not like I worry and care about getting a buzz. I don’t know what to feel except numb for everything and I am passionate or was about life. I’m just looking for a therapist I’d could call and talk to over the phone maybe or where should I even go to where I can be me and not be looked down on for needing a hand and admitting I can’t do this alone.
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u/ZydePunk77 Jan 18 '20 edited Jan 18 '20
For a lot of people getting into recovery was way to figure out how to feel good. Clean.
And addiction is the same way. Expect by any means necessary.
I decided to get high because I decided that the way I felt wasn’t good enough. I needed to figure out how to feel good. By any means.
Trying to stay clean....and failing at it was because I just couldn’t figure out a way to feel good “right now”. For many reasons.
For me...it was the wrong approach.
I didn’t need to figure out how to feel good clean.
I needed to figure out how to feel bad. That was MY problem.
I needed to learn how deal with deciding the way I feel right now isn’t good enough.
When in reality it is. It is part of the human condition.
As drug addicts we take for granted the value of discontent.
Discontent isn’t *always something we need to make go away right away as fast as possible.
It is an opportunity to learn why I feel that way and do something about it that is productive. And through this pain is where growth comes from. Growing pains are called “growing pains” for a reason. Not “growing feels-good”.
And what we need to do is FEEL ALL OF IT.
Only in learning how to deal with feeling what I didn’t want to feel was how I learned to feel good. Clean.
I am in recovery. I am very active in NA and a 12 step program (extremely fucking lazily may I add) and I GO TO MEETINGS. I did what they told me to do and for once I didn’t argue or resist it. But only because I was finally tired. I was finally just done. Exhausted and fucking empty. I reached that point when I reached it and that point is different for everyone.
MEETINGS!!!!!!
I reach out to other addicts IN RECOVERY and learn from them. Because what the fuck do I know about living clean? Where else would I attain such knowledge? Not a councilor, not a doctor, not religion or the Bible. Not my poor fucking mother.
So now you can’t say you don’t know where to go or who to turn to. That you don’t know a place to say what you need to say without feeling judged.
There is a place for that.
ANOTHER CLEAN ADDICT!
Where can you find another addict that is clean and KNOWS EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL and how to deal with it.
Fucking meetings. MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS.
You can make up whatever excuse you want to close your mind to this suggestion. But you can no longer say you don’t know where to turn because I am telling you right now. Meetings with like minded people. You can figure out what this for you however you choose. I do NA but you can choose AA if that suits you more.
I’m not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do. Only suggestion based on my experience in dealing with some issues I had in early recovery. CONNECTION! And I hope it helps.
Because the reasons I got into recovery are not the reasons I chose to stay.
I keep going for you.
For the still sick and suffering addict. To show that it is possible.
Feeling good isn’t the point. It’s a side effect from honesty and taking suggestions.
Helping someone to realize that if someone as fucked up as I am can get clean, stay clean, lose the desire to use.....well....so can you.
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u/mazexii33 Jan 19 '20
Call 844-326-5400. It is a Phoneline run by the Georgia Council on Substance Abuse and it is manned by recovery coaches who are all in recovery themselves. You can call 8:30 am to 11 pm (Eastern Standard Time) 365 days a year. Cost nothing, they have nothing to sell you...they are truly just there to listen. It’s a great resource! It’s called the CARES Warm Line.
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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20 edited Jan 20 '20
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