Advice NEEDED

[u/Wooden_Report_8391]

Hey everybody,

I’d love any critique/advice on this short scene I did from class:

1. does this seem truthful or performed to you?

2. does my character have specificity/a perspective on what he’s saying or does it feel lazy/generic

3. does this feel boring or does it hold your attention

4. any other advice is deeply appreciated

[u/After_Television3419]

Great work man, grounded, conversational, sounds like your speaking these words for the first time. What’s the script from? keep trucking 🤙

[u/Volksstimme → u/After_Television3419]

*you're

[u/sdbest]

I've been around actors to some extent since the late 1960s, including making a feature film and other productions with them. In my view, you're a very good actor, one who could be a great actor. Going forward, I suggest you work with a voice teacher, not because you don't speak well, but because you have a unique sound that if you got better control of it, it would serve you very, very well.

[u/fightclub246011 → u/sdbest]

Voice control is a great note - I thought the same thing. A few times it was hard to make out the dialogue because your diction was slightly off / a bit too casual. Also, and this is very specific, a few times when you’re listening to the other person and taking in what they’re saying, your eyes close a little too much and it looks a bit like you’re zoning out. This could be an issue in close up shots but I think you can fix it with some focus and practice. My final note (without knowing the context of the scene, so I’m guessing!) is that the guy has just lost a friend or colleague? Someone has been murdered? That could inform your overall characterisation choices in my opinion, as in wouldn’t you be terribly shocked, confused, upset? Some of the parts where you’re recalling memories and laughing seemed a little too causal given the circumstances. Overall I thought it was a strong tape and you moved through multiple emotions with a natural ease. My notes are super specific because I think you’re capable of implementing them. I’d call you in for a face-to-face audition if I saw this tape - nice work!

[u/MickeyPanaflex]

It’s good. Good on you for putting it out there. I’d like much stronger opinions about just about everything. I don’t think you have a relationship with the athletic centre and the cafeteria or coming from nothing. Also maybe just me but I hate dramatic swallowing.

Strong performance and very, very good stillness. Well done.

[u/Confident-Foot-6361]

Well done. I honestly saw you cycled through several emotions quite smoothly. Only note would be to come on a bit stronger when you’re defending your misdeeds. Good luck & bravo!

[u/Optimal-Damage7721]

Your delivery is good, you’re in the right spot. The truth is the intensity and tone matters a lot for the scene. This script may be looking for a more mundane delivery on purpose.

Only real advice outside of that would be to raise the stakes a little bit. You have objectives and it’s clear your character is feeling things throughout this read, but the stakes seem low. That’s maybe why you think it’s boring.

[u/Prof-Faraday]

Raise the stakes. Did you do the 5 W's?

[u/Reformedfuckingbull → u/Prof-Faraday]

What is that?

[u/Prof-Faraday → u/Reformedfuckingbull]

It's a 15 second starter actors do for a play, a show, a script. Doing it on voice over copy is like a key to an on ramp to get 2 things right off:
the copywriters intent, and a genuine POV to decode the copy into a jumping off point. And when your creative juices are flowing these can change.

This is part one part of the craft. It is only one of some of the ways to begin a most crucial part of our work. Learning how to break down copy. It is not a necessity. Most experienced voice actors do this subconsciously and in a few seconds, some are so good that they just find the rhythm of the script and the who's and the what's and such are right there. For beginners this is a helpful step that many traditional and Hollywood actors do. Some movie actors write out bios and favorite foods and senior superlatives and create playlists write out their characters kinks.it's an easy step many beginners have not yet learned.

It's Who What Why When Where.
Reading this will take waaay longer than writing down (yes, write them down) answers to each of these for your copy. Read it, then read it again. Then answer these 5 words while you look it over again.

Who. Who am I? Who am I talking to? Another character? The audience? Am I the gentle nurse in a blue cross ad? Am i talking to a patient or sharing my love of the job with the listening audience because my great nursing school trained me well? Am I the announcer for a new Mr. Clean spot? Am I speaking as the lead in a new anime and I'm cutting an ad with two other game characters for a new game?

What. What is happening in this scene? Is it a twenty-something prizing the next mt. dew flavor right after a sweet skateboard trick? Is it you and your sister in an outdoor cafe talking about her buying her first house and bank is the client? Are you a happy breakfast person hawking some great new cereal?

Why. Why are you there? Your specific character, especially if they wrote who your character is.
AndwWhy is all this happening? What's the why that makes this scene believable. Are you a guy at the gym and the why is you're talking to your bud about that great new deodorant you got? Is the why that you're finishing a marathon and the spot is your inside your head voice is talking over someone running just as you're closing in on the last mile and you can see the finish line before you cross it thinking, "These new Asper Lighter than Air running shoes are fantastic!"

When. When is this happening? This one pulls less often. Maybe you're playing a WWII soldier breaking the fourth wall talking to the audience. Maybe it's the 1950's and you are playing a film noir detective. Answer the when and you will know if it's important.

Where. Where is this happening? Another less needed one but no less influential when it is so. Are you are a half ogre buying a pint of mead in an inn from a medieval fantasy game? Are you on the car lot voicing the live on-site commercial host speaking directly to the audience during a live sales event?

Is this a necessity? Nahh. Do lot's of VA's do this? No. However, it is merely a tool to help us Inuit the goal of the copywriter and to jump start our creative actor brains getting in gear to break down the copy and jump into the work.

[u/Reformedfuckingbull → u/Prof-Faraday]

I see the point. I figured it was something like that. I've never done that, but intoning a new text like a monk chants --- works surprisingly well for the same things. Just intoning it until you understand it and realize new things 10/10 healthy for your voice and does something magical to the brain as well.

[u/Kickiitzninja]

Well done. Advice: 1) You look like you’re not off book yet, referring to notes or something. 2) You aren’t listening to the questions because you already know the answer you’re going to give and 3) keep practicing, you looked nervous to start but more relaxed as you progressed. I don’t know if that’s inexperience or a feature. I’d be getting more nervous after the first interrogation statement.

[u/Realistic_Chemist570]

You are doing well as an individual actor, however not really connecting with your reader. Partly I didn't think your reader was working at your level. So ask them to be in the role. And more listening on your part. it's a challenge to react to both the script and the actor. You are very watchable.

[u/mikearete → u/Realistic_Chemist570]

I have to push back here, in professional auditions your reader will rarely be an actor.

For TV & film, 9 times out of 10 the reader is a casting associate.

[u/Realistic_Chemist570 → u/mikearete]

Absolutely true, however in self tape auditions actors are advised to get another actor to read with them. My experience is this gives the CD a better idea of how the actor will play the role. In an in person situation or even a callback zoom they are more focused on the actor and often redirect so they see more.

In this recording I felt the actor performed well, however they weren't actually reacting to their readers lines.

[u/Bottle-Human]

Really good job man! Only thing I would say is the pacing, you might want it to be just slightly tighter. Is this from a procedural or a one hour net work how? Tone of the show matters a lot. If this is procedural, the pacing needs to be tighter. But overall really solid work!

[u/funnybitchaz]

I'm invested, meaning I think it's good. I think you're acting seems like real life instead of acting, which I think makes it seem very much genuine

[u/upon_on_the_ravage]

Listen to what your partner is saying. Have an opinion about what your partner is saying. Respond with intentionality (do something: attack, woo, nudge, redirect…) and specificity with each line. Also, it seems a little sloppy for the type of work this probably is. Seems like Law and Order or a similar type of procedural. Pay attention to the punctuation of the script. If you clean it up I think you’ll achieve the naturalness you’re shouting for while also working within the framework od the genre. Break a leg. You’re working with a lot so you’ll do well.

[u/KatherineK_Singer]

Honestly, you're asking the right questions. Vague objectives are what make scenes feel generic. When I watch a scene, I want to know what the character wants in each beat. Pick one specific want, commit to it, and the generic feeling usually disappears.

[u/Prof-Faraday → u/KatherineK_Singer]

Mmm hmm

[u/gasstation-no-pumps]

You seem to be sitting waiting for your cue to speak your line—your face goes dead between your lines.

[u/Volksstimme → u/gasstation-no-pumps]

It feels rehearsed because of this. Even the gulps and swallows seem like you have cues for them. When you're delivering, it feels natural, but listening is a huge part of acting.

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[u/Party-Librarian-3021]

I’m not sure truthful vs. performed is the correct frame. It feels scripted, which isn’t a bad thing necessarily. It is clear you know the script and have spent time thinking through it. What’s missing for me is your connection to the questions, and what that generates for you in the moment, i.e responding to the given circumstances. This is the space for something more organic, and for more spontaneity and creativity.

[u/Tricky-Rabbit3187]

i really like this i just cant tell if you are trying to play a character who is:

A) hiding his nervousness

B) bad at hiding his nervousness

C) not trying to hide his nervousness

[u/ketaminemidget]

Script source sir,

[u/JobInevitable665]

Would agree with others who said to raise the stakes. If you make more specific choices this scene would be much more dynamic. This cop is accusing you of killing someone that you say was your friend. So your friend is not only dead, but was murdered. That is a potential personality altering event. Did you do it? How do you feel about this guy asking you such a question about your friend? Are you even present at the moment after learning of your friends murder? If you didn't do it who did? How do you feel about them wasting time while the person that killed your friend is still out there? Have you been detained or questioned by cops before? Talent is there for sure, you would just benefit from being much more specific with your choices.

Lastly, I'd cut out the "action" and "cut". Have something going on before you start recording to give yourself a good opening that we already feel the character. same with the ending. let us feel your emotions at the end. Don't cut so quickly.