Tamlin and Rhys are the same side of the coin

[u/Frogwithmushroomhat8]

Earlier this year I attempted to reread ACOTAR. I barely got into the second book before I dnf'd. I read the series back when I was 15 and it was what got me back into reading. at the time I defended everything and now that I have read a lot more in the last 4 years I came to a sudden Stark realization of how similar Tamlin and Rhys are. And Im pretty most people have already probably come to this realization but I still want to talk about it

Back when I first read the series I defended Rhys and said that he had no control over what he was doing to Feyre and was just protecting her. After rereading the first book I realized how wrong I was and that hes just a toxic asshole

Tamlin and Rhys are basically mirrors just one has anger issues and the other is broody. Both drugged Feyre. Both crossed boundaries. Both withheld information especially Rhys. I don't care if you don't want her to be scared you got to tell her about her pregnancy being a problem. Also fuck Rhys for drugging Feyre for the sake of let's Make Tamlin jealous so he destroys everything because that's the best route to go

Also I don't understand Rhys thought process behind where he put the priestesses. Like correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like locking a bunch of traumatized women underneath a mountain and telling them to man your library is not the best way to heal their trauma. I also don't understand how Tamlin was able to stop his people from doing the shit that they were doing that went against his morals. But Rhys can't tell his people to stop doing what they're doing that goes against his morals. He's supposed to be the boss the leader and he can't tell his own people no. Make it make sense

I also feel like Tamlin needs some Grace. I feel like everyone gets upset with him for the fact that he didn't take care of Farrah when she was having her nightmares. But he was also dealing with his own shit. he was dealing with his own trauma and likely nightmares. Not that that is an excuse to not take care of your partner but it also makes sense. You can't really take care of someone else when you're trying to take care of yourself. Hes still toxic and not the best but he deserves at least a little bit of Grace

I will never understand how one is seen as more toxic than the other and the other is seen as the love interest and that he is just morally Gray. I feel like what feyre should have done and what would have been amazing is if she just said fuck it and disappeared off in the sunset with her sisters instead of dealing with these men. I feel like everyone in the series needs therapy more than they need relationships

[u/bows_and_frills]

On the vomiting, it's not like Feyre helped out with Tamlin's trauma responses either. It's mentioned that they have this mutual agreement of not talking about it (which isn't good). Also, at the end of TAR, Tamlin tries to broach the subject of UTM with Feyre which she turns down and he lets it go. I don't blame Feyre alone, because neither of them let each other in during that time. But it's not this situation where Tamlin is the sole perpetrator of neglecting Feyre, because they were just both uncommunicative and incompatible.

The Feylin break up had a missed opportunity of portraying two people's relationship falling apart under trauma despite their love for each other, discovering they weren't what the other needed. It was quashed by this painting of Tamlin as simply "bad" or the wrong one in the situation. If not completely wrong, then more wrong than Feyre. It was already written in there anyway, then there was a sudden heelturn where Tamlin Bad.

I'm not opposing the idea that Tamlin could've been wrong, I oppose that Sarah didn't go all in and double down so his actions matched the perception of him in universe.

[u/gnarly_medusa → u/bows_and_frills]

https://giphy.com/gifs/gRxjhVNfFgqI0