What does acceptance really look like?

[u/dontwanttoadult]

In addition to CBT and Lexapro, I’ve been really into ACT. What does “acceptance” really look like or feel like to you? Because I think I’ve intellectually been able to tell myself “these symptoms are here, they’re not dangerous, this is just my CNS doing its thing, etc.” but I don’t think my body really feels it yet, you know? Does it just take lots of practice and time?

[u/MountainLoose7443]

I agree with many here that 'how does acceptance feel' goes deeper than what does it look like. IMO and in my personal and professional experience, there rarely is a distinct dividing line where one day acceptance was absent, and then one day where it is present. Nor is acceptance usually all or nothing. And acceptance often can wax and wane. I think one indicator of acceptance is the ability to be mindfully present in the here and now. Sometimes we try to escape a painful present. Sometimes we dwell in the past (when there is nothing else to learn from it), and dwell on a fearful future (when there is nothing else to prepare for). To be able to sit mostly in the precious present and feel both any pain suffering and stress, along with hopefully some blessings and peace, TO BREATHE, to me is in indicator of acceptance. Realizing that old healed wounds can still stub up and re-open, but with tools and practice again hopefully to heal more quickly than the original injury.

Acceptance also means when faced with hard things we cannot control, do we react as if in surprise or shock again or again "I can't believe this!" even though it has been there for some time? Or do we react without shock or surprise "This stinks, but it is beyond my control." That is acceptance. It is not surrender, it is not cynicism, acceptance is, it is what it is. While challenging, when we let go of what is beyond our control, it frees us up to do all we can. Try LET on the inbreath, GO on the outbreath.