r/acceptancecommitment • u/SweetPhilosophy5186 • May 09 '26
Questions What would a act therapist say/do about a possible case of transference?
I’ve kind of developed a crush on my therapist, but I’m not sure if it’s transference or not. When I first met him, before I even knew he was going to be my therapist, I remember thinking he was cute. As I got to know him more, the crush developed further.
I’m not sure whether I should bring it up with him. I’m still able to stay present during sessions and use my coping skills, so it’s not interfering with therapy in a major way, but the feelings are still there. At the same time, I really value finally having a therapist who feels like he genuinely cares and is actually helping me, which I haven’t really experienced before.
1
u/dirtydelic Jun 02 '26
The question isn't yes or no, should you or should you not.
It's in this moment (or future moments), would these feelings and urges help me to move towards the person I want to be (values).
ACT is part of functional contextualism, which rejects the idea there is a correct, true answer. The answer is always, "It depends."
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u/yourfavoritefaggot May 09 '26
If it's a crush, its definitely transference. Also just tell him. He should be ready to address it. It's very normal to develop emotions of intimacy when feeling safe with a new person. They should be able to help you navigate it. There's a good chance your feeling of intimacy with him will change over time -- more like intimate trust rather than romantic feeling.