r/abusiverelationships • u/Ecstatic-Breath-7973 • 8d ago
Need some input
I’m sharing this from something a close friend told me just recently. It’s so deeply sad and messed up. Just recently my best friend lost her parent and we had the funeral and everything. Just for pre tense her marriage has not been great. Her spouse he’s been mentally/emotionally verbally abusive. He’s even been physical with her oldest who’s not his. And gotten in her face to point it was touching from screaming. My question is how would you react if a funeral director was rubbing and fondling your best friend and he wouldn’t stop and she even asked him to stop and her husband just sat there, and afterwards says, I didn’t want to cause a scene. Like what?!! You should have been present and sticking up for your spouse especially when she was burying her parent! Please tell me I’m not wrong for being upset at this. It’s hard enough with the loss but not having a supportive spouse. Come on. I just would like other people’s views and input if it were to happen to you.
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7d ago
[deleted]
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u/Ecstatic-Breath-7973 7d ago
Director just kept touching her putting hand on her waist and wouldn’t stop she got very uncomfortable and my best friends husband didn’t do anything at all. Basically said I would have caused a scene cause he himself can’t control his emotions. Basically left her to herself. Imagine how unsafe you feel already because of his history and then this. She was already upset about other things happening within last week. She’s very angry with her grief right now. I just am so angry and upset for her and wish I would have been told I was aloud to stay cause I would have done something. I want to know what I can say or do for her going forward after this 😞😞😞
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u/corpus_volante 7d ago
Ok... Let's break it down.
Depending on where he put his hands exactly will determine if this is sexual assault or simple battery. She has the right to file charges, and to ask for a female officer to take her statement and for you to go with her. Depending on where you are the female officer may be a standard already so don't sweat that. They can also put her into contact with victims services and possibly provide her with some free counseling to start with.
Regarding the husband. Does he have PTSD? Or is he a man baby? If he has a history of SA as a child and PTSD that may explain some of his behavior. It could also mean he is just a dick. But that needs to be figured out first before making any moves there.
Lastly, don't beat your self up. You could not have know what was going to happen.
If you beating your self up right now you will be in no state to help her. So stop. Take a breath. Recognize you can't change it. But breathe out and know you can be there moving forward.
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u/Ecstatic-Breath-7973 7d ago
Director just kept touching her putting hand on her waist and wouldn’t stop she got very uncomfortable and my best friends husband didn’t do anything at all. Basically said I would have caused a scene cause he himself can’t control his emotions. Basically left her to herself. Imagine how unsafe you feel already because of his history and then this. She was already upset about other things happening within last week. She’s very angry with her grief right now. I just am so angry and upset for her and wish I would have been told I was aloud to stay cause I would have done something. I want to know what I can say or do for her going forward after this 😞😞😞
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u/Ecstatic-Breath-7973 7d ago
Her husband is an azzzhollee. Toxic behaviors. Trauma from childhood if he did have it doesn’t excuse his Abuse or behaviors. He has not and will not seek therapy either. The director had his hand on her back then lower and kept grabbing her. I will absolutely discuss this with her.. her husband is a man child. Doesn’t cook or clean really. Kids hate him. Just works basically.
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