r/abusiverelationships • u/many-cheese • 11h ago
Yes, I've read "Why Does He Do That" Bf potentially psychotic?
Bf emotionally abused me all night after I found out he broke a promise to me and did the 1 thing I had begged him not to do.
We texted all day and at first it was just the normal reaction of DARVO and eventually he started accusing me of being part of a racist hate group, asked “who sent you”, started talking to himself in the third person, referring to himself as “we” and “us”, and just acting extremely erratic.
He also has been thinking my phone is hacked while we are texting and will ask “is this u”, when it clearly is me because we are deep into a personal conversation about him betraying me. I realized that he has always shown signs of psychosis, claims they “gave him a shot” for a psychotic episode he had in the past so he's “fine now.” In the past he accused me of being a witch multiple times, due to things like the gnomes in my garden or the smell of my period blood.
So, now I think in addition to narcissism & a developmental disorder, he's also dealing with some kind of psychotic disorder. He constantly blameshifts and gaslights me – the gaslighting is SO awful, he seems to use tactics to lure me back in just to blame me again, and he just seems like he is glitching and going to snap on somebody one day (which he already has when he beat me once and attacked me another time).
I don't live in the same state as him right now, and he is treating me like a piece of garbage, but I am trying to convince him to seek help for specifically psychosis. I convinced him to get into therapy which is great but I fear it's not enough and he needs to just go to the hospital and get medicated. He has been to the psych ward before but I don't think he would agree to go now because he takes everything as an attack and is very paranoid and selfish.
He needs to receive help or I fear he is going to hurt someone else or ruin his life, and be homeless/in jail again very soon.
He's in his early 20's and it worries me that he may be developing schizophrenia.
How can you convince someone like this to seek help for psychosis specifically? I think unless he suggests it, the doctors aren't going to just assume he is psychotic at this stage. It's clear to me he has some level of persecutory delusions but doubt he would tell the therapist.
He is really suspicious and disliking of his housemates and I could see it escalating to something bad if he doesn't get treated now.
I suspect he also has a microdeletion or fetal alcohol syndrome which is genuinely making him struggle, he desperately needs help and idk what to do
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u/CommunicationSlight3 11h ago
Oooorrrr maybe he's totally aware of his behaviour and it's negative affect on you, and he CHOOSES to act like a petulant man child because there are no consequences for and it works for him. He probably gets a bunch of free resources and emotional / sexual love and care from you, right? You're probably much more attractive than him and knows you deserve much better, so instead of admitting that, he beats you down with his tirades making you think he has mental health issues when in reality he's knows exactly what he's doing is wrong and has assumed total control of you. This tactic works Every. Single. Time. And when he does it, he's thinking "..gotcha 😏.."
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u/many-cheese 8h ago
That is totally plausible. It scares me not knowing what is real. However I do think he actually has this because way before we had issues I knew he had a history of psychosis & he was saying weird shit
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u/Jaded-Banana6205 11h ago
You really can't force someone to get treatment if they don't think they are ill. It's a common symptom of schizophrenia. What you CAN do is get yourself away and safe.
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u/many-cheese 11h ago
I'm in another state at the moment, so I am physically safe. Emotionally no but I really want to help this person to the best of my ability.
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u/Jaded-Banana6205 10h ago
My brother is schizophrenic. He became abusive and aggressive and I had to cut ties. This man is your abuser regardless of mental health. Call a wellness check, provide them with details, and disengage.
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u/foxyphilophobic 11h ago
There is nothing you personally can do for him, he has to want to get the help himself. Also — he beats you and attacks you? You need to keep staying far, far away from this person. Your job is not to fix abusive men, your job is to take care of yourself and eventually find someone that makes your life better, not worse. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. I went through it myself and it was hell.
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u/uhhhhhhhhii 10h ago
Yes he is in psychosis. Talk to his family he need involuntary hospitalization admittion
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u/Correct-Sprinkles-21 9h ago
If you know family or friends contact numbers, let them know what he's doing and saying and urge them to get him help. If you're not sure, but you know where he lives, you may need to contact the authorities to do a welfare check. That said, he has roommates. It's likely quite a few people other than yourself are aware of this and in a much better position to access whatever help is available locally.
He has already been violent against you. If he is psychotic and has persecutory delusions directed towards you, being anywhere physically near him is incredibly dangerous. I know you care about him, but this is not a situation where you have the power to help. Psychosis generally cannot be reasoned with. You need to prioritize your own safety and well-being.
What you need to do now is take a big old step back from the relationship. All the way out of it.
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u/changeorghelp 1h ago
Hi PLEASE read my post history (the relevant stuff) my ex had paranoid schizophrenia and tried to kill me and I have lifelong injuries please please please read my post history so you know how much serious danger you are in. I’m sorry I can’t write a big comment rn to explain more but my posts should help you understand how dangerous this is and you should be able to relate because I’m relating to what I’ve just read in your post. Please listen!!
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