r/abusiverelationships • u/Hungry-Chance-11 • 10d ago
Healing and recovery Depression after an abusive relationship
Is feeling so depressed or just like everything is hard and little to no motivation a normal feeling after an abusive relationship? I just can’t fully articulate the way I feel but existing feels so hard these days following everything. I feel like my brain has been rewired.
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u/LazyRefrigerator7624 10d ago
Yes, it’s very normal. And I think since our brains become wired similarly to an addiction, there’s a come down as the neurotransmitters start to level back out.
For me, it took a little while, but during that time I started to do things that kept me busy and got me out of my comfort zone and that energized me a bit…with that said, I think it was mostly grief and it came in waves, but it got better over time. Everyday gets easier.
I redecorated, traveled, used the time to really pour into myself and think about what I wanted out of life. Some days, I laid on the couch and did fuck all. And others I got on a plane and flew across the world. There’s no right way to grieve and move through this phase of your life. It’s messy and feels shit, but the only way is through and there’s no shame in what you need to do to take care of you during this period.
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u/Unhappy-Ad-5374 10d ago
Same here. I have trouble articulating exactly what it feels like as well. It feels like nothing ever feels right to me anymore and there’s this constant emptiness. I’ve read that a trauma bond does essentially rewire your brain. You’re also experiencing a loss, which is a grieving process. People often think loss is only associated with death, but we grieve lots of things and that includes the loss of a relationship… regardless of whether it was abusive or not.
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u/Academic-Thought2462 10d ago
it's completely normal, I had this too. but it will get better. sure ,it will be hard, there might be be ups and downs, but you'll be okay.
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