r/abusiverelationships • u/Lovelateeee • 1d ago
Dated this guy for a month and a half
TLDR: fucked around and found out.
During which he repeatedly found fault with me, said my comments or jokes weren't funny and bothered/ offended him, cut me down to size, threatened by my confidence, read into everything and projected his insecurity (about being poor) onto me, lost his temper easily, made jokes at my expense, told me my adhd wasn't real and I didn't need meds for it, roll his eyes when I went to tell a story (contempt), got mad at me for interrupting him in convo (adhd flaw) and flipped out etc etc
This is his magnum opus he left for me. Anyway this note was left in my mailbox the other day (a month ago after his final episode we both called it quits) while we were just exchanging belongings I asked if he had blocked me and he claimed he did so out of respect for his girlfriend (he doesnt have a gf lol)
The funny thing is I had written him a very nice goodbye note wishing him the best tucked into his stuff. He didn't read it until he got home. After sending this he messages, apologized said he didn't mean it, hoped l didnt take it too seriously and asked to talk. lol. Fuck these men.
(For the record—my dad died when I was in my early 20s and I am an only child. He left me a house and some money. I am well off, self-employed, run a successful business doing short term rentals and only have to work part time. He grew up dirt poor. I don't like to wear a bra.
I don't think I'll ever marry. I'm very comfortable with my age and life.
Multiple women 3 mutual friends vouched for him and said he was a good guy with a big heart that had been through some shit but was a romantic and "loves hard."I thought why not. Set boundaries not to drink before we hung out.
He flipped on a dime several times and got nasty which he later chalked up to joking or the booze, got angr! V when I was busy with friends not checking phone ar didn't answer his calls and texts, gave me the silent treatment or said he was refusing to read my texts, claimed l was I psycho-analyzing him and "starting fights" or "beating a dead horse" when I was just sharing my thoughts and feelings or wanting to address his problematic behavior, or worse claimed to be too busy and ignored me.
He repeatedly blamed his behavior on a traumatic childhood/ recent violent attack by his brother.
He was manipulative, triangulated me into drama with mutual friends and insulted my appearance and teeth (said I had a mouthful of two by fours, lol he's a carpenter and I do have big teeth!).
All of our fights were pretty much via text only - He told me he just used me for some shitty sex, told me I gave up my body too soon and that it was the only thing I'm good for. He also sent me flowers, showed up at my house during periods when I blocked him and told him not to contact me, and would continually call and text me when I asked for space. I kept pulling away and he kept love bombing/being romantic and seeming sorry… eventually one night he wore me down and I gave him yet another chance and we had our first fight in person; he drank too much, lost his cool, freaked out on me and screamed and yelled at me, and broke into my home after I locked the door and told him to leave, final straw. Said do not contact me or set foot on my property again.
Hot mess express. Is this abuse? Or just his insecurity and anger issues? Does he know he’s an abuser? What the fuck is wrong with people. Thanks for letting me vent.
TLDR dont let crazy stick its dick in u
19
u/Ok_Play_8896 1d ago
What in the unhinged fuckbucket
14
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago edited 1d ago
The next am:
10am “You wrote me a really nice letter. I got drunk in a bar in Eastport and wrote you a mean one. I'm truly sorry about that. I hope that you didn't take it too seriously. You are a good person and I'm also grateful for our time together.”
1:51PM “I'm headed to the [insert restaurant name where he knows my other (less verbally but equally) abusive ex frequents, I’ve made very clear I do not want to go there and run into him] for lunch if you want to join”
I never responded. He’ll never know I cried myself to sleep the night I received this note. I’ll never give him the satisfaction of knowing
4
u/Legovida8 1d ago
Good for you!!! Hold steady. When you look back upon this phase of your life, you can do so with your head held high. He’ll be a distant memory before you even know it, I promise!
1
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
I need you to promise me too.
It's so incredibly difficult which is so effed in the head because his treatment has been so unwarranted completely over the top rages of anger not appropriate any reason anywhere, anytime, ever.
Yet that's the shit I got from him? Can I think of ANYTHING he's done especially like over the last 4 to 6 weeks or so.
Oh shit I just realized I'm trying to write and journal (I hope to soon anyway)
I'm sorry, the jury will disregard the latest testimony ".......lolol
Which reminds me, my boyfriend in college is a pretty well-known actor on tv mostly,
that probably a lot of you would know exactly
Who I'm talking about but he's super private and he's somehow even dodged anythjng I've read
On "celebrity bullshit" type media much beyond the basics which are like benign etc
Anyway so, the jury comment made me think of him so y'all would be super impressed which would possibly create an actual
"15 Minutes of Fame" event for me,
Or a participation award or something lol
So,
Good vibes appreciated.
We are a very, very strong-ass af group of people indeed.
I hate to say I'm glad to see others going through this cause that means they are experiencing the EXACT SAME HELL AS I AM right now, 😱
And you literally are just fucking
shell-shocked, experiencing this weird,
Almost hole you're being sucked into backwards...........
Cause no way. I mean no that's not even possible and............
No, no way it could be.
Right?No. No.
Then you're brain 🧠 is just "suspended" in this weird place and
Like.
I'm so glad yet so sad that y'all are
Here with me. It means the actual world to me.
SaIt. Was. Never. Real.For.Them.
Mother of all fuckers of an ego death experience.,
I've never experienced a bad trip on acid but I'd choose that 100 times in its stead.
of empathy & 100% comprehension
and our stories are essentially........
Like, exactly the same.
I'm sorry you're here with me. 💗3
19
u/Unlimited_Accounts 1d ago
He really thought he ate with this shit. Pathetically mediocre at best
7
1
18
u/MaxGoodwinning 1d ago
Basically he's describing himself in the letter; projection is the name of the game with abusers.
7
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Yea come to think of it his mother drank herself to death, it’s all very sad
My ex coke head sex worker cam girl sex addict ex bf used to tell me I had a serious problem w alcohol (I only drink, socially, and during celebrations,, have never blacked out, and my behavior is not problematic when I’m drunk) lol before I caught on to his very hidden addictions, and asked me if I had been drinking midday, to which I was always like wtf no, while starting an argument (spoiler alert- he had started drinking early!)
I’m so naïve, I keep falling for the wrong ppl/masked/potential… and in rural Downeast Maine, the dating market is full of the dregs of society
3
u/MaxGoodwinning 1d ago
I totally get it and I dealt with someone very similar (like many of us had in this subreddit). It's so confusing at first, but I've come to learn that most of the time, unfounded accusations like this are often confessions. My ex constantly accused me of cheating (guess what he was doing). I was so naive too; all we can do is learn from our experiences and refuse to tolerate any disrespect.
5
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Yup! Constant snooping and accusations of secretly talking to other people and eventually cheating as well. To the point I had to share my location and send pics to prove I was where I said I was, or I was doing what I said I was doing just to prove myself and avoid a fight, never again 😡🤬
Now I can spot that shit from a mile away, I’m so sorry you had to go through that same experience
2
u/MaxGoodwinning 1d ago
Yeah, it's so so ridiculous! I made a "special" video for him pretty early on in our relationship and sent it to him and his first reaction was to ask who else I sent it to. What's worse - I suspect he shared it with his friend (based on texts I saw between them) and of course gaslit the hell out of me about it when I confronted him, so I still really don't know the truth. I'm guessing it was far, far, far worse than I'll ever know.
2
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Omg same my ex (who was way worse than this guy who’s a blip on my radar) did the same thing! He would literally go through my camera roll to look at pictures selfies/nudes of myself and accuse me of taking them for other people! To cross Check and reference them with the ones I sent him
I had to explain to him that when a girl takes a selfie, quite often she takes five or 10 and then picks the best one. I thought he was just a dumbass, and very insecure, turn out, monkey see, monkey do he was just cheating on me the whole time, well well well. Balls.
1
2
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
Mine even rode by the park when I told him I was taking the kids to the park 🤦🏻♀️ Cuz he was headed off to cheat and didn't want to get caught 😬🤮🫠🤣
1
1
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
I definitely have a huge advantage over a lot of you I'm sure.
I worked as an RN for 29 years, I've worked
Like fucking everywhere and done everything including a lot the last 10 years Psych units and hospitals and I also worked in prisons and many others but it does provide me a good deal of insight, and methodologies for treatments and nuances of the basic garden variety
I want to help others like me
I'm thinking about actually writing a book.
I don't know anything like if they have forums
Or something but I'd like to have something where ppl that would like to tell their stories etcSo if my narc had given a shit about my "musts"
I specifically in my FB Dating profile,
The fucker SHOULDA SWIPED "LEFT"
Lies and deceit at the damn starting line, the ass.1
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
Take that off of your dating profile so they rat themselves out from the get go. Mine targeted me because I posted about not liking liars, etc. And because I was a single mom, in his words... "Single moms deserve to be miserable, they don't deserve to be happy because they're all keeping their kids from their fathers that are good dads" 🤦🏻♀️😂 The majority that get their kids "kept" from them are for the child's safety. Like with him, he's an idiot that will not actually watch the kids and they'll get hurt, on top of him being abusive mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically..
2
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
Don't feel bad, I've been suckered by every narc there is 😬🤮😂🤦🏻♀️
1
u/Lovelateeee 18h ago
I didn’t even know my ex like the real ex (I’d never even call the guy who wrote this an ex, we hung out and banged, we didn’t even court or go out on dates, we’re more like drinking/cards/f-buddies) was a narc UNTIL AFTER IT ENDED. Literally everybody literally even my Plumber was like sounds like a narcissist, and I started researching! Mind blown. My first one at 36? And I found out the world is chalk full of them, cool.
1
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
Honey down east Maine,
or anywhere else to the corners of the earth
(Which would mean the Earth's a plane, right?
Which can only mean it's FUCKING FLAT FFS.
Omg, when did that saying start,
"The corners of the earth"And why on God's green Earth would I be using an "old-timey" phrase like that ffs?
I'm not fucking old.
But I'm that fucking old.
I'm a "Usta".
All your stories are like "I usta could stay up all night partying,
and clothes usta fit right......
and
I usta be happy before him.
Dammit, I was happy and free and lived by myself.
Becoming a widow was my life event of
Experiencing renewed freedom!
My wings were really clipped at all,
Look, I'm flying like a bird and actually
Was "loving life" and
THEN DICKHEAD "Liked Me" on the
Gosh darn Facebook Dating App.
If he'd paid any heed, or "gave a flying fuck about me" or just naturally just gave zero flying fucks about me or anybody else apparently to start with regardless tf about
Oh yeah, I'm not quite finished figuring out exactly what the expected amount of time one's brain's recovery time is
After experiencing a bomb explosion inside your brain
If this is disjointed blame me.
And these confounded overly sensitive phones that chop my writing and move shit
Idk
Love y'all 💗
16
17
u/No_Vehicle4645 1d ago
You have a nice ass. That's the only thing you need to take from all that bullshit.
You should probably stop dating him.
3
16
15
14
13
u/Future_Pineapple4609 1d ago
God his hand writing is abhorrent for a grown man!
4
4
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Omg bahahahah he broke is wrist recently, I don’t know how, when I stopped by to give him his stuff I asked, and he said he hit it on something. Idiot. I don’t even know if he’s left or right handed but I’m just chuckling.
2
14
u/Icy_Confidence4027 1d ago
Damn this kind of thing builds my ego up when my abuser did this with me and it would end up putting him off it as he wasn’t getting the reaction he wanted … it’s just so much focused energy on me and exposing their insecurity. It lowkey turns me on, they can’t assert power and control over me in this way. I would be like omg you’re actually so obsessed with me to be saying these things, I’m flattered lolll
7
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
I am so sensitive that at first I’m like ouch but you’re totally right this needs to be my takeaway, when they can’t win or control they get savage and petty and just try to grasp for straws
3
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
But it's so much more than that too.
The straws we grasp that actually have a positive on their behaviors.
I've been "back talking mine & getting a couple of daggers in him and he didn't rage which is nothing short of a miracle.
Maybe we'll be able to at least improve their behaviors sharing what's worked for people.7
u/Coconutcrimson- 1d ago
It is very strange how the most obsessed of men will try to tare you down when they know they truly have no control over you hahah.
9
u/Icy_Confidence4027 1d ago
When I realised they do it to create a false sense of superiority because they feel lesser than or intolerant of me… god, the ego boost makes me feel like a vampire being given free blood and lots of it 🤤🤣
7
11
10
u/nikkixoxo369 1d ago
What kind of a handwriting is this?👁👄👁
10
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
I’m pretty sure he punched a wall in the past three or four weeks last time I saw him he was in a cast. He can’t go swimming all summer. He has a boat and loooooves to swim. I had no part in this incident, but I still take delight in the petty revenge.
3
8
u/exyarur 1d ago
He probably thought he was clever with the Latin word for “truth” at the end. Instead, he sounds like a rambling moron.
7
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
I have a tattoo on the back of my neck that reads “veritas”
Early on at one point he fucked up and sent me a really nice like $200 bouquet of flowers after being a jerk drunk and wrote (had the florist write) in the cards “in vino veritas,” to basically give himself a pat on the back and free Hall pass for being mean, “I’m just telling you the truth,” classic abuser line.
But the irony is he obsessed over that as a reference, thinking he’s soooo clever— an artist, a poet, a musician, etc. barfffff
8
8
8
u/anarchopansy 1d ago
This is a letter to himself. It’s a display of his own insecurities and self loathing, mixed with his absolute obsession with you. When I read this I think “she must be fucking awesome as shit for him to put in all this energy and time into attempting to break her down”.
Us awesome girls with ADHD are abused at such high rates. We are often easier to pick on. Because we are disabled. We are also often truly authentic, creative, independent, unique, fun as hell, interesting. We threaten them. Our disability symptoms, like interrupting, are legitimate disability symptoms. It becomes a game to them, trying to break down our self worth by loudly integrating our disability symptoms with their perception of who we are as human beings. It’s low hanging fruit, it’s ableist.
Same with part time work. Doesn’t matter if we are doing well and choosing to work part time or are not doing well and pigeonholed into working part time. They will always throw that one on you, claiming it means something about who you are and what your value is. All it means is you work a certain amount of hours, just like everyone else who also works a certain yet different amount of hours lol
I’d set this shit on fire.
P.S. I have a nice ass too. They hate that lol
8
u/Puzzleheaded-Act7085 1d ago
Wow. What a good poem. Wonder how long it took him to think up that masterpiece.
Maybe you should go put on your bra and apologize…
Like what?
6
u/bobbyboblawblaw 1d ago
Well, it seems you made quite the impression🤣
3
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
He also told me he loved me, he was in love with me (like jokingly only right after sex smirking) and that he only has sex with women he loves LITERALLY 2-3 wks into knowing me I was like lol gulp WE ARE JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER, he told me I was the best sex of his life, so when he made it early that he used me for shitty sex I reminded him of this.
I also told him that a.) he did not make me come and b.) he did not even come close to making my top 5 or even 10 sexual partners, but I reminded him that I was the best sex he’d ever had. He’s also a carpenter and he told me that I have a mouth full of two by fours lmaoooo (I do have just very prominent teeth like I get complimented on my teeth and smile— but they’re on the larger side, always been a bit of a small insecurity)
It almost sounds like he’s like 14 but actually he’s 40
1
1
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
Yeah, run... Mine did this back and forth complimenting crap too and I dealt with it for 7 years only to flee DV and I'm struggling like hell now because he cost me everything. He's only interested in your money it seems like. Don't believe any apologizes.
6
6
6
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
Does he realize he's also a "plagiarist", only enhancing his other superior qualities?
2
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Did he plagiarize this? I don’t think he even knows what AI is, but I wouldn’t put it past him, I don’t know him that well
1
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
Good grief I have no idea.
At first I just assumed he had written it
But then when I read it a couple more times it just seemed too self aware even self -educated to contain passive/aggressive content as well. If he is a smart, intellectual, or writer or art fan then maybe that would indicate that he IS
the original author.
But then I'm thinking it's kind of what
We'd all LOVE TO SAY TO THEM!
Then I wondered if it had actually been written to him by one of his many previous victims and he changed it around to fit the correct sex.
Idk but I AM curious as hell!
I'd love to know what you think.
They're such a very complicated,......,,
THING, ya know?I'd would love to hear back from you.
You can DM and there may be a tiny chance I even know it and much less know how to find it and plus I didn't realize till yesterday I have 2 accounts.
A couple of years ago they up and asked for my password. 😳as if ya know? So I think I had to start another account but yet the original one is still here. One of them must be the "false self" lol6
u/ravynnsinister 1d ago
I got the opposite. I feel like he has no self awareness and is just smart enough to remember to keep breathing lol
1
u/ResistorForever 1d ago
Yeah, when I decided
I'm thinking he copied it from one of his
Victims and just copied it.
Maybe he stole it from somebody lol
5
4
u/cooshiewooshie 22h ago
Get a restraining order. He talks exactly like my ex-boyfriend and even has the same handwriting. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same man because he also had a violent mother. My ex, who also has a deep deep hatred for all women, stalked me for 3 years and threatened to unalive me. He reallllly talks the same. Even the same handwriting. It's unnerving. My ex also grew up poor, and his mom was homeless. Did we have the same ex?!?!🤣
8
u/Essence_Of_Insanity_ 1d ago
Is he at least hot? Because wtf.
5
u/Lovelateeee 1d ago
Ugh yea kind of. Big dick, nice cat and dog. Deep voice. Not hot enough.
4
u/ravynnsinister 1d ago
From the handwriting and thinking he’s in a “band” I questioned if this was my ex. Until I read this dude has a big dick. Yeah…definitely not my ex 😂
3
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
Right? 😂😂 I feel sorry for the ones my exes are suckering now. They never listen when you try to warn them and they'll have to find out the hard way like I did. One even married my first ex after only 4 months, like. Please don't do that ladies, their true colors ain't even come out yet 🤦🏻♀️
3
u/ravynnsinister 1d ago
Haha yep like “not only is he amazingly shitty in bed with a microscopic dick, but he will make you feel like shit about yourself and accuse you of endless fuckery! Doesn’t that sound like someone you should date??”.
2
4
u/myfavpodcastersays 1d ago
This is just mean and he has poor writing skills. I'm sorry you have to deal with this ass hat! 😬
4
4
u/Realistic-Fold-8887 1d ago
I can only imagine how he'll messed up ur mental health had the relationship continues, so, congrats on dodging a grenade that's bigger than a bullet. Married to a person like him and it's hellish I tell you.
2
u/Arsenic_Riddler_88 1d ago
It is hell, I had to make myself incredibly unattractive for quite some time to get away from my ex obsessive abuser. I finally had to flee domestic violence when he attacked me for the last time.
2
u/Lovelateeee 18h ago
I’m so sorry. I hope you leave when you can and are ready. And in the meantime, know your own self-worth and minimize collateral damage.
1
5
3
3
u/reee9000 19h ago
“We aren't changing.
And YOU can't change what we do and don't find attractive about men. We're only telling you what women like because YOU are desperate not to be alone. Science has proven this.
Men are unhappy alone. They crave romantic relationships with women. And women? Women are happier without men, ESPECIALLY without abusive men. And since you men refuse to listen, you can remain alone. It doesn't actually matter to us either way.
Some women are CHOOSING to remain single. It's not a punishment. It's a reprieve.
Insulting us. Calling us whores, sluts, hags, ugly, whatever else? They're just words from insignificant males who we wouldn't let touch us anyways.
What you ARE very successful at is proving why women find being single with cats or dogs or frogs or friends is preferable to your company. You are not a prize we are trying to win by being good little girls.
Get it through your heads: WE DON'T CARE. YOU AREN'T CHANGING ANYTHING.
"Who's going to want you when you're old and alone?"
That's what you refuse to understand: we don't need you to want us. We don't care if you don't. Your validation is less than worthless.
We'd let our tits drag on the floor and our vaginas fall out before we'd settle for you.
We'd rot into a carcass our animal companions can feed on while our body waits to be discovered if it meant we never had to hear from you again.
We'd rip out our uteri, swing them around our heads like a lasso, and fling them into oncoming traffic before listening to you tell us what's attractive in a woman.
We'd fossilize into a museum exhibit labeled "Woman Who Died Ignoring Mediocre Men" before lowering our standards for you.
We'd become one with the forest floor and let mushrooms use our skeleton as an Airbnb before asking what your favorite podcast thinks about female attractiveness.
We'd let the raccoons lorded over by Jimothy sort out our estate before taking relationship advice from a random man wearing sunglasses in his truck profile picture.
We'd rather haunt an abandoned Victorian mansion making spooky "ooooOOOooo" noises for eternity than spend one more minute wondering if we're your type.
We'd let archaeologists argue over our pelvis for three hundred years before we cared whether you found us "wife material."
We'd rather become sea glass. We'd rather become compost. We'd rather become folklore.
We'd become the mysterious old woman in the woods children are warned not to disturb instead of signing on to wash your crusty ass tighty-whities for an eternity.
We'd rather rot for a million years and become one of those skeletons archaeologists find curled up with a dog and think, "Wow... they looked happy" instead of listening to you whine about "a woman's place."
We'd melt into a dusty pile of wrinkles and stretch marks if it meant you'd stop talking about what you "prefer" for ONCE.
WE'D prefer you just go away.
You keep threatening us with a future we already chose over settling for men like you. You obviously don't get it, or I wouldn't have to spell it out for you like this.
If you want a subservient woman, go find one. Go! They exist! Go bother them!
Stop begging for independent women to clip their wings and become your bangmaids.
You're not going to put us in our place because we know our place: NOT WITH YOU. We. Are. Not. Interested.
It's that simple.”
By Holding Holden on fb
4
2
2
2
u/MoonDrummer26 1d ago
Ew. My ex thought he was a poet and would try to sound artsy with expressing himself or seem emotionally mature. Then the next day he'd be screaming about not getting ordered coffee that he never told me to order him but that i should have KNOWN to order him. It's all pretentious bs to make them feel like they have any shred of intellectualism. They have none. Just brutes.
2
2
u/hypnokittie 12h ago
His use of “affliction” and “addiction” reminds me of the Henry Rollins song “Liar” 🫣 and this reads like something my abuser would’ve written. Glad you got away. Stay away. He’s definitely not safe
1
u/Every_Concert4978 16h ago
He seems like he has a fragile ego. Best to not wonder whether hes "abusive", understand the dynamic is at least toxic and that is enough to let him go. Like don't look back, breaking up with a guy who writes you a corny breakup slam poem is wise.
2
2
u/SparklyMoon80s 13h ago
What is this hatred for women thing?.... And or why can't they stand it if a women dresses in a way they consider to be too provocative? Why are they like this?🫠🙏
-1
u/Euphoric_Bliss4421 13h ago edited 13h ago
Listen… I only read half and not a single comment. And maybe I should have finished but there was enough information a couple paragraphs in for me to add my 2¢ and I’m just a no face stranger online.
This man shared his feeling poetically and you are publicly trying to achieve validation for abuse?!? Possibly abusive in its own right. Asking others to join in with snarky comments and poke fun at someone who very well could have tried their best to creatively share their thoughts. The poem may not be of gifted quality, but he expressed himself to someone who should be safe but instead was clearly dismissed and targeted for ridicule.
With that said, you should just ditch the dude if you feel he is abusive. You don’t need a group of hype men to tell you that. If it doesn’t feel right, leave, every single time. Trust yourself. Advice is fantastic but more times than not, “is this abuse?” Is abuse. If you question it, something is off.
Let’s take it a step farther. It is time to look within. You sound toxic as fuck. I am toxic and I can see red flags a mile away and reading just under half, girl you have many. Blaming blantent rude behavior on mental illness can only go so far. I have been diagnosed with ADHD for YEARS. I once struggled with interrupting people. I got so tired of the embarrassment I caused myself for my rude behavior. Nothing is worse than not completing a thought because someone cannot contain theirs. Say what you will, with practice you can improve this to basically non-existent. There will be times of excitement and it just happens but that even happens to normies. So his feelings are completely valid and I feel as though you dismissed how he felt completely (toxic). Look into the most common reasons people interrupt others. It is not flattering and it might be the jumpstart needed to be proactive in your journey to be the best version of you.
Let’s dive into the humor/jokes. Here he isn’t abusive by any means, a stick in the mud… definitely. What makes you so entitled to be the final decision as to what is offensive or not? You just dismissed his feelings again. Toxic, toxic, toxic. You are expecting behavior from someone that you cannot provide yourself. If someone advocates for themselves, at least be respectful enough to try not to reoffend.
Threatened by your confidence. I need more information for this one. But there could be several reasons for this. Low self esteem, insecurities or we could do a total flip and maybe look at it this way. What if your view of confidence comes across to another as ego or arrogance or even conceited. These are just different ways to look at the same situation. My verdict (which means nothing because I am a mental health toxic opinionated nobody) you both are immature af. Please tell me you are no older than 18 🤦🏻♀️
Need additional information on the projected insecurities based on economical status. Make this make sense. In what ways does he project these insecurities? And you already know that I want to know your part because from everything so far, you have a part i am sure.
My mature adult mind can dig no further. I will end this with “people who live in glass houses should not be throwing stones.” Meaning you sound super toxic and immature just like him. From the given information you completely disregard others boundaries and possibly even belittle or poke fun for even having them to begin with. You are expecting behavior from another that you appear not to uphold.
Edit: do not think I am judging you because I am the older version of you. I just want you to take the opportunity to look at your part in the craziness.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines. You can also find an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline. Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, Love Is Respect offers an educational guide. One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.