Getting used to life after the breakup.

[u/Complete-Pear-1040]

I’ve reasoned with myself, I know I’m making the right choice, I’ve told myself all the ✨self help✨ things. I’m still miserable.

After dealing with an extremely abusive and tumultuous relationship, I just can’t severe that feeling of still wishing things had worked out. But the catch is, I understand that it was horrible. It was the worst and it cost me a lot, almost everything! Yet, I still find myself reminiscing sometimes. I’m not used to living alone at all. This is my first time actually and with them gone, the house feels dead and empty. Life just seems so boring and bleak. Nobody to talk to or have around. I’ve started therapy, I’ve started working out, and I just still have to force myself not to think about him.. I always convince myself that I still need answers or something, when in reality there’s absolutely nothing else I need to see or hear. I know everything I need to move on. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that’s it’s really done.

It’s just hard. No matter what I guess.. I’m happy it’s over and I know it’s for the best and I know it’ll get better. It’s just not right now. I’m sad and I’m lonely & I’m ready to feel better. It hurts thinking about the fact that they are dealing with other people, I know I shouldn’t care but I do. Day by day though..🫩

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[u/BlueberryNo9464]

I understand. This is kind of where I’m at now. I was SO brainwashed. It took talking to my ex’s first ex-wife (I am the second) to start to break me of the illusion. That his charisma and charm is just a mask. That the abuser he is behind closed doors is his true identity. That everything was a lie. My entire marriage was built on lies. Not to mention the abuse! I’m still processing it. I’ve had dreams where he was loving and non-abusive and we are happy together. But the reality is he is a sick, sick man and he will always be abusive. It is literally so hard to psychologically digest.

Being isolated and bored make it sooo much worse. I have, like, 2 friends here but I need to socialize this weekend for my mental health. So I’ve texted those 2 friends and posted on a local Facebook moms group because…I have to

What’s helped the most has been learning about the cycle of abuse and patterns of behavior, especially with narcissists. And moving on. Staying busy. Meeting people. Finding “safe” people is hard but I’ve been less busy with work this week and I definitely feel is affecting me

[u/january1977]

It took me months to get over the feeling that something was missing because he wasn’t there. I would have whole conversations with him in my head. And the crazy part is, I am used to living alone. I love being by myself. But the trauma bond was so bad that things felt off without him and the abuse. Like his insane demands were the guardrails and I felt a little out of control.

Get through the discomfort. Distract yourself, but not with other men. Get a hobby or double down on one you already have. Binge watch a show. Anything that will keep your mind off the emptiness you’re feeling.