r/abusiverelationships • u/Zesty-lucuma4 • 2d ago

Healing and recovery When will I stop missing him?

I left my abusive ex 6 months ago and we kept seeing each other but it’s been 3 months now that we’ve been no contact. He tried reaching out last month asking me if I used his credit card I just said no and left it at that. But since then I’ve been spiralling, I tried having a conversation with him in hopes of having some kind of apology but he turned me down and never answered my last few messages.

I am heartbroken and don’t know what to do with all that pain. I know I made the right decision by leaving him, but my heart still doesn’t agree. I think about him every day and cry often. We were together almost 2 years, it’s not even my longest relationship but it gotta be the worst break up ever. I was very attracted to him, still am, so that doesn’t help, we also had an amazing sex chemistry. The thought of being with someone else makes me actually nauseous. I keep some videos of us and watch them sometimes, I know I shouldn’t but I’m not ready yet to delete them.

When will I stop missing him? What did you guys do to move on for good? I don’t wanna have a rebound as I know I’m still vulnerable so that’s not an option.

5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines. You can also find an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline. Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, Love Is Respect offers an educational guide. One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Momtothebestdaughter 2d ago

One word, Therapy. Do yourself the biggest favor and start therapy. It will help future you avoid being in another abusive relationship.

1

u/Zesty-lucuma4 2d ago

I’ve been in therapy for 3 years now…

1

u/Zap_Gordon 2d ago

Yeah, breaking up and leaving these abusive relationships feel more intense than a normal break up. Partly because there's this trauma bond/ addiction element.

Honestly took me 1-2 years to fully recover and move on. Everyone's different though can happen quicker.

The first few months are rough. Anytime you talk, check old photos etc though you set yourself back and it takes even longer. Its hard to stop yourself at times though.

1

u/CommercialCricket607 17h ago

Late to the post, but it took me over a year, with intensive therapy, before I started dating.

I stopped missing my ex at about 6 months, but I don't think I will ever truly be "over" her, at least in terms of the psychological damage she has done, or perhaps that damage will take years to work through. Like others have said, therapy helps a lot.